For quite some itme i’ve been trying to break out of some depression. I was having a hard time finding a job and had been getting down on myself about some other troubles in my life.
I am still a kissless virgin and am very out of shape. So since around last november or something like that i’ve been trying to work on self improvement 100% of the time. I started lifting some dumbbells at home and reading a bit more, eating more food (i’m underweight) and educating myself on nutrition among many other things.
Nofap Attempt 1
I’m thinking this was the 2nd half of may or something. I went 14 torturous days and then while reading the nofap rules it said something about mental stimulation. I realized even though i stopped watching porn and touching myself that I was still reading the subbreddit “gonewildstories” which was redditors sex tales. So I was breakin a rule and had to reset. Instead of just resetting the counter I relapsed considering i should start “fresh”. When i came, I came a LOT. but it was a very unsatisfactory feeling. It wasn’t as good as i remembered. I then PMO’d like 7-8 times in 2 days span and realized I had fucked up badly and to go cold turkey. I deleted all porn at this point and decided to give it up for life.
Nofap Attempt 2
Current Run of 90 +days. I really dont ever want to PMO again. I either want to get laid or just stay in “monk mode”. I do have some urges but what keeps me away from releasing is my fear of being a loser. My fear of just being okay with jerking off and suffering out in the real world.
Here are some things I know FOR SURE are benefits of not PMOing. You will notice these most likely as well.
- Much More Energy
- Much Hornier (Harder Erections, Aggressive Sexual Energy)
- Less Social Anxiety (I approached a girl for the first time in my life about 2 months in & I finally conquered a fear of going to the gym this month. I was stupid to be afraid of going)
- Much more energy for the gym and more gains
- Less fucks given about pointless stuff
- Less procrastination (This may be because of my self improvement mindset that was already under way)
- Easier to maintain eye contact/less fear of people
- Strange sense of comfort knowing that your browsing history/computer are totally clean.
91 days in now. So I started PMO’ing pretty late at 17 (I think) and before that I guess I was just walking around while slightly aroused. I graduated college last June at 22 years old and then turned 23 in july shortly after.
I’ve noticed when I’ve talked to random girls I can be a bit more intense. Holding strong eye contact and not smiling much. Talking in kind of a low voice, although my voice is naturally deeper then most. I’ve also been improving my posture as a part of working out and that can convey things to women subconsciously as well. So overall, Just a stronger male presence.
I’m 6’4″ and 186 lbs. Which is underweight. I have been actively trying to gain weight since around november when I was only 175 lbs. Still pretty skinny though. My goal is a lean 205lbs. Hopefully before next summer.
- Never touch yourself unless in the shower to clean/trim yourself
- Delete all porn immediately
- Reduce as much exposure to pictures of girls as well (I deleted all model pics or anything related on my PC)
- Hit the Gym like a madman & read up on nutrition ASAP
- If you can’t get past 7 days you need to talk to someone safe about this addiction ASAP. The feeling you get after a month is a good one. Each day feels better.
- Get outside in the sun enough.
- Limit time on computer
- Read more (I read Models by Mark Manson & No More Mr Nice Guy by Robert A glover)
Do not give up. Right now I would say I am the best version of myself but I have a long way to go. Good Luck.