[Translated from Italian] Friends, the following story was summarized the facts and events in the PMO was present in my life.
The story starts from zero for people who read can identify and see that there is light at end of tunnel for everything bad that are going through.
It started at ten years old. Until then, it used to be a good-natured boy, at peace with life, had great ease of socialization, was a born joker, the son of a good family and excellent living conditions.Besides, he was always surrounded by several friends and was known by many people. Before this age, my only concern was to get a good grade in school, what ever could. With the arrival of eleven years old, came from high school, and along with it, several things have changed: Friendship, programs and a new routine . Through this radical change, I discovered a new world, where the “cruising” was presented to me as the path to happiness. At this time, the focus of my life has changed since it was not only getting good grades, playing ball, bicycling, etc … On top of that, I also wanted to “take the little girls.” The problem is that I always wanted the most beautiful of the class, and this meant that did not get much success. In fact, almost any kid could such a feat. And the worst is that, because it is very shy and shameful, I could not even come and speak in the face of the girl whom were my intentions. It was at this same time that “The Phantom Menace” came up, and you may know the what it is. I was told about the existence of such “Punheta” which until then did not know what it was. On the same day this discovery, I was practicing to see what it was, and I was fascinated. From there, it was jack off all day, and the whole time there was the slightest chance. During this series of compulsive masturbation, I imagined all colleagues in my class, and every day, fantasized about a different one. This was repeated in cycles and cycles that seemed endless. With the evolution and daily practice, also began to lie in bed, close your eyes and imagine situations with such girls, in a context where I was always giving me good with them and taking all possible income. In this phase, I remember something that draws attention: to the extent that has not masturbated, I talked a lot with them, and then I started this compulsive practice, puffiness diminished enough. Ultimately, Yoda continued with the zero score.
EPISODE II – ATTACK OF THE CLONES
At 12, he was about to face the beginning of an attack that would last years and years … The “Attack of the Clones”, to me, is seen as “Attack of my fellow men,” those who were like me, the feeling of daily masturbation and fantasies with the girls with whom we socialized. At this time, my friends had easy access to Playboy magazines, and some of them were setting up in the monthly editions of all of them, and were much more “nudes” than anyone can imagine. Every month, came a bag with 10 copies for our “Club Polka Dot”. Until this time, it was still unable to orgasm through masturbation, but I practiced every day. It was an endless practice, until he felt that little “little pain” that did not result in anything. At this stage, still did not get along with the women, it was unable to “catch” any and had no provision for this. On social issues, I always had my loyal friends, we had good programs, we went out and had fun in the lot. That same year, I made twelve, my grades began to fall and had my first red in life. From then on, my academic performance began to fall gradually.
EPISODE III – REVENGE OF THE SITH A
At 13, I had not yet achieved any orgasm doing my sessions with Playboy magazine. This frustrated and isolated me a bit of practice had been worshiping for two years. I was a good time without masturbation. Until, after a few months, my father installed a dial-up internet at home. At first, I did not even think about what content might see. Then, in one day, a friend to whom I told about the internet told me, has already entered the San ****** with.? It was a very famous site at the time only had pornographic pictures. His focus was more on R than in naked women. Instantly, I was urged to access, and once I got class, locked myself in my room (the computer with internet was there), I called the PC, connected me and soon entered the famous site. In the first page, I was crazy so picture in front of me. I felt the rapid heartbeat, eyes wide, as if I had found a treasure chest. . Then began the “Revenge of the Sith” As I had abandoned the habit of seeing magazines masturbating me, revenge addiction brought a lure even heavier and attractive: The Pornography on the Internet. From this point on, it was several hours in front of the computer screen, saving videos and photos for future masturbation sessions. While preparing sufficient material for future sessions, I already had a session there at the time too. Time passed, until one day, in a masturbation session I was able to have an orgasm and ejaculate. I hardly thought or conscience had to reason that that moment would have been perfect if it was with a woman, not a computer screen. But this day, I jumped for joy, I was crazy and I’ve tried again right away, but I could not. This happened on a warm afternoon of a weekend where I had several things to do outside the home, but I was there, locked in my room. After the first orgasm, I wanted another, and searching for this, I did morning sessions, afternoon and evening, until you reach “success” desired. Then it got ugly because I was hooked and did not even know. At that time, our class held various parties, and had many birthdays of friends to celebrate. I was at all, but was the first to go, back to my dark room and be able to indulge me a little in PMO. Not satisfied with the photos and videos of one minute, one day I took courage to go to a newsstand to try to buy one of those porn DVD’s they sell, since my friends had lost contacts that brought in the magazines and all kinds of pornographic material. In this way, I managed to accomplish this feat without much effort, even banking woman being known my mother and knowing full well my age. When I said I wanted to take a porn DVD, he does not hesitate to sell me. This for me was a huge achievement. Kept thinking, “so now I can buy movies when I want.” Shortly after the purchase, they began sessions PMO at all times. I had a lot of energy to do that, and it was almost all day in front of the TV, watching and masturbating. Today I think: if I had diverted all that energy to pick up girls, or develop something more serious, it would have been quite different. But cry over spilled milk will not solve. My thirteen to fifteen, I sank completely, and then come the consequences: I took several red notes, dependencies, did not relate me with any girl and was already an addict complete.
EPISODE IV A NEW HOPE
At 16, he was already addicted to PMO. A guy with friends, but without leisure activities, away from the family, and no experience with women. As my grades were trashed, my father removed the computer from my room and put him in a room where I would have no privacy to practice PMO, and could not even take a look at any photo or video, and as if it were not enough, the DVD I had burned at home. My parents are not fans of movies or movie, so neither were important for the repair of DVD, then spent many months without the device. Because of this situation, I was without any means that would allow me to practice my sessions. I did not feel like masturbating without the visual stimulus, because I thought that would not have the same grace. So I was without PMO session for a while, hoping the day comes that I could move in the hidden computer, and thus satisfy my mind. Moreover, as if that was not enough to get the computer in my room, my father took the stabilizer, and hid, saying that only he could shake the computer until I recovered my notes. I was pissed, but could do nothing. From then on, I spent a few weeks away from the PMO, and I began to notice that things were changing for me because I started to have more energy and disposition, I was more talkative with the girls, closer to family, and began to realize that the girls with whom I spoke were in love with me, and that was amazing! Over time, it occurred to me the following reflection, and have even read reports of people also thought the same as me: “It seems that after I stopped masturbating and see porn, things are looking up for me. “At that time arose” A New Hope “because it put my faith in this thought, and I ended up taking the” Reboot “, without even knowing its scientific basis and empirical effectiveness. . just realized I stop doing that could bring me some benefit, and simply acted on my intuition The days, weeks and months passed, until something happened that even I do not believe it: the girls were flirting with me, throwing glances, pulling chat with me and interesting for myself. With a few months of abstinence, I was feeling more confident in front of them, and feel a calmness and serenity that only now started to recover. Now comes the good part. I managed to get for the first time with a beautiful girl from my school, one of the most desirable, not wanting to brag. We stayed and it was perfect, I managed to develop a very good time with her, which fell on mine. Soon we started dating, but only lasted a few months due to fights and jealousy. Even with the break, I do not saddened me, because in the meantime the courtship, I was with some girls “out”, and whenever I wanted to, they would be there waiting for me. Moreover, I wanted to meet new girls all the time, and keep them. Over time the “banditry”, I was earning a good reputation among girls and was very coveted by them. MSN and Orkut were bombarded by messages and messages every day. But although he had acquired this behavior of “cruising”, I became a calm face, serene, confident, and felt that nothing shook me so much as to take away my peace. Everything could be overcome and resolved.
EPISODE V – THE EMPIRE STRIKES BACK
At 17, I had good friends, women, high spirits always motivated “LOT”. At that age, I had already known several girls, but had not had sex yet. So, I decided that would be the time! Time passed, and met a girl who was photo model, beautiful, very fine people, and quickly managed to hook the fish. With a good running time, I asked her to dating, and she accepted. I could not believe how a woman that accepted my request. I was quite surprised and very excited about the situation. My colleagues were impressed too, because suddenly I shook the dust and started to get along with women. I was sure that all these colleagues were addicted to PMO, because commenting on pornographic DVDs and videos in our conversation circles. As for dating, we were already together three months, she was a virgin and I also. But I lied about it, in order to look more experienced. I came to her and said all my intentions, showing confidence and attitude, about the possibility of us having sex. She said she also wanted to. So I planned the day, place and time for everything to be perfect. Arriving at the last minute, we started well, then came the moment of penetration, and I totally no experience, to put on a condom, I began to get nervous and anxious, and just put the condom, lost my erection stiffness. But even with a weak erection, the transaction took place, and it was at this point that we lose our virginity. The anxiety was so great that ejaculated in less than five minutes. PQP, only 5 minutes? That did not go very well in my head and I was crazy. There was no one to tell about what happened, because everyone would make fun of me because of the lack of age to that inherent maturity. I did not know it could be controlled to be patient, and was not aware that I was mega inexperienced in business. With more than a year in “unintentional reboot,” I had forgotten how much was good run out pornography, and had a bad idea: I thought that if I masturbate me fantasizing, and saw some porn before meeting my girlfriend, I could get out there and make the relationship last longer, because I would have enjoyed once in the same day. I put the plan into practice and even spent my savings to buy a DVD player to put in my room. I rescued all the movies that I had saved during the previous year, and I play at all. Day after day, before meeting my girlfriend got me masturbating, watching porn to try to improve my performance. At first, until I managed to increase the time of penetration, but there came a time when they came to the evils of PMO: premature ejaculation ( even though the second orgasm of the day) and the symptoms of erectile dysfunction beginning to present. In addition to these effects also came apathy, lack of patience, concern, distrust of all, anxiety, including social. So, I felt I had become the garbage that used to be the year before. My girlfriend did not support the insecure person that I had become, and then broke the relationship. I was very down, very much. And I do not remember how much it was nice to be without PMO, and that old intuition did not come over, maybe because I silenced my mind and was torturing me all the time by the break. Thereafter, I sank into addiction in a lot worse shape than before. I bought an external hard drive of 1TB, which almost got crowded videos. By now the broadband internet was easy to access since, and I’ve had regained control over the computer. PMO sessions several times a day, at night and in the morning too. I began to lose erection with normal videos and would “level up” porn-consuming, week after week, each day heavier than the other. Until one time I had the curiosity to see porn videos of gays and transvestites, and without any hindrance or fear, I attended. It became part of my PMO session, every session would have videos with gay or transvestites. Time passed and the habit remained constant until one day I saw a guy on the street and found myself fantasizing about him. That was a shock of 220 volts, in the middle of my forehead. What do you mean? Why did this happen? I like women! Am I gay? What the fuck! I lived here until now wishing women and fantasized now with a guy ???? Never in my life had thought of this possibility, and never felt a desire or curiosity drop. That was tormenting me so much that I began to try to repair if I had any sign that he was gay, and I started to get crazy because could not find any of that in me. I started to test me, imagining a situation before bed. I closed my eyes and imagined myself in bed with a man or a transvestite, but had neither an erection drop. Erection only came when I gave play the videos and started to masturbate watching such scenes. Even though it was not what I wanted for my life, I gave in to addiction and masturbated me to have an orgasm and feel like crap after a few seconds.Time passed, until I became a lonely and depressed man and without any ambition. In the comfort zone I stayed for a while with my sessions PMO. I could have sex with five women during this period, two of which were prostitutes. In all relationships, I made use of Cialis, and also had to use fantasy in my head, to achieve an orgasm with them. In the end, my balance was with DE, RE, HOCD, depression, anxiety, apathy, loneliness, lack of strength, and loss of motivation and purpose to life.
EPISODE VI – RETURN OF THE JEDI
Even in the deep end, I still had a minimal force to try to get out of there, despite the immense power that has the addiction. I scoured the internet to try to understand the problems he passed, seeking solutions, reading reports and spent hours searching for the cure for all this trouble.Between sessions of PMO, I always took the time to research and try to find a solution for me.With sessions decreased during the week due to overwork, sometimes I devoted all my weekends to get drunk with pornography. One day, a friend of the former called me to go out to a party would happen soon that night. I was reluctant to accept, but he did not give up until I accepted. I thought to myself, when you get the party, I do my PMO session. We come to the party, and I, always with that huge social anxiety looking out for me, and almost exploding inside to be there in the middle of so many people kept thinking that everyone was talking about something bad to me, I was being mocking or making some kind of gossip. I even suspect that they knew of my sessions PMO, and I watched the videos gays and transvestites. I was crazy! I decided to drink to relieve some of the pressure, and dosing and sips I could calm down. For a moment, I saw another friend of mine from the old that was with his girlfriend and another woman. How long ago had not seen, and our friendship was firm, I did not hesitate to get out of where I was to go there to greet you. He introduced me to his new girlfriend and her friend, who was next. When I greeted her, looked into his eyes and heard his voice, I fell in love with that beautiful woman standing in front of me. I was right there talking to them until my friend saw that I was interested by a friend of his girlfriend and left you alone. Will chat and chat comes, I kissed her, and despite all the anxiety and nervousness to be with a beautiful woman, we were together until the end of the party. We exchanged numbers and talked for several days, and then we had several meetings. With the passing time, I had a doubt and a huge fear about our relationship. I wanted him to become a dating but was afraid to make this happen because of my attraction to the kinds of videos that I consumed. What if I want to do it in real life? And if she finds out? I was in a maze, not knowing where the exit was, until a friend of mine, seeing my situation gave me some advice. He did not know about my addiction, but I knew I was wanting to date the woman and was afraid to take action. He told me this: if you like her company, her way and can not imagine the lack of it in your life, ask to date her, man! And that’s what I did. Two days later, there I was, asking it into dating. I was very scared, but took a chance anyway. She answered “yes”, and was so glad I was surprised because not imagine that would have that reaction. Anyway, we started dating and went to have feelings and sensations that did not have much time, how to get out of hand, embrace, smell a beautiful woman to leave the house in good company to travel every day to have someone asks how your day was, among other pleasant feelings. There are things that can not be bought! Over time dating going, and things heating up, I knew it would come to hour H. That left me pensive, anxious and worried. So I began to plan a day, as I did with his ex-girlfriend. Place, time and occasion, for everything to be perfect. But as it was still addicted to PMO, he could not miss the famous Cialis. With all figured out, the day he would take action and make that moment happen, had finally arrived! I tried to stay calm, I looked in the mirror and said “you can” I took my Cialis and went to find her. Everything flowed very well, taking my ER. In short, I lived for several months on the basis of Cialis, accompanied by ER, and always consuming PMO, even with a beautiful woman to me. The months passed and our sex always had my Cialis support, which always kept in the portfolio, and a thousand fantasies in his head, while practicing the act. I was just close your eyes and remember all those scenes he saw at the computer. I practiced my sessions PMO all week, without breaks, and sometimes reached not have no desire to make real sex, but still took my Cialis and did. I was confused, angry and always asked myself: Why not feel anything? Why do I need to fantasize? Why not have orgasms naturally? After orgasm in sex, fantasizing several scenes, the feeling was the same as being in my room practicing PMO, because I felt like crap, wanting never to do that, thought I was helpless and had very low self-esteem. It took months and months taking this cocktail of lies (Cialis, PMO and fantasies). Outside of the sexual field, my relationship has always been good, because I struggled for it. I wanted to spend all my days with the woman, sharing the good times of life, and so was …
EPISODE VII – The FORCE AWAKENING
With just over a year relationship, I was every closer to my girlfriend day. We were sharing our desires, fears, victories, plans, achievements and doubts. It was amazing how we were in sync with each other, always helping us in times of difficulties and celebrating achievement in moments.However, behind all this, it was filthy because of pornography and masturbation. There were evening sessions lasting between two and four hours, and sometimes up to five. He wakes up powerless, as if hung over the confused mind, body without the strength to get up and start the journey. It was powered with a good dose of caffeine and a cold shower, to turn my body and be able to face my day. There were many months of doubt and agony, wondering why, right next to the beautiful woman I love, which supports me advises me and loves me, yet I was still unable to experience pleasure during intercourse. The more he thought about it the more sessions increased to the point where, at the time of sex, I could no longer a satisfactory erection even using Cialis.Only then came the utter despair and began to fantasize heavier and absurd things, which were still not befitting my sexual preference, and this gave me even more suffering. However, one day it happened something curious. Was surfing the internet looking for some film so entretesse me, and for particular search, I read the following headline: “The evils of Pornography, Gary Wilson,” I did not think even twice, and I clicked to download. My gut feeling began to return to the past, and rescued some thoughts for a long time did not occur to me, as happened at that time that had the reflection that masturbation and pornography made me ill. I watched the entire video, and began to dawn a strong hope in me, which aroused an immense desire to change, because he knew he had found what may be my release so many doubts, fears and impotence. Immediately, I started looking for information on the internet that could help me learn more about it and better understand the scientific basis of such a Gary Wilson. First, I found the site “addiction Pornography”, accompanied by the Blessed eBook compiled with all the information about the devastating effects of PMO, and the path to healing through ninety days Reboot, and also many reports of people who got rid of this practice. With the excitement in the highest, I read the e-book in one day, and re-read whenever I had any questions. Since then, I adopted the Reboot, and on the first try, got fortnight, but relapsed soon after having sex . In the second attempt were fifteen days and the third was seven days. I was surprised when I found out how much it had me hooked. Despite having practiced for many years, I had never gotten to think that would be difficult to stay without PMO for more than two weeks. From then on, it started to get ugly because they were intervals of one or two days between each new Reboot I started, and I felt I was losing the strength to continue. And so, there were several attempts until, almost without strength, I began to think what would become of me if I continued in that vicious circle, and began to remember the years I spent lost in this world of porn, and I began to rescue the memory all the bad events that I experienced and which could find the cause, all of them with the help of the e-book. No longer wanted that, in any day of my life, and then I raised my head and went back to fight. I returned to Reboot, a good “ignorant” way, do let breach any so he could access any type of pornographic material, and I left WhatsApp groups who shared videos, pictures, or anything that contained pornographic material, or that would lead me into the abyss. Do not installed the blockers, because I thought, for me, it would not take, and did the hard way even because the blocker would have to be on my mind, since that’s where the root of the problem, and it all starts with a thought or a will. But these impulses have to be cut before he could take root in your mind. As for the friends who came and started to talk about pornography, or the last “nudes” of WhatsApp, I always arranged a way to close out covertly. As a final form of commitment, and also in support, I told everything to my girlfriend, about addiction and all the evils which they caused me. She had no no idea that I would have so many problems due to the PMO, nor suspected that I consumed this type of material. We read the e-book and watched all the videos together. She supported me and believed in everything he said, and with me, came to rely on Reboot, and that I would bring several benefits. That’s when I started a new reboot, but this time, with all these measures taken. Looking at the counter on day one, not knowing when it would be ninety days, it was frustrating, and vines that anxiety and feelings of inadequacy, reminding me of all the failed attempts. Thought it might already be cured of all these evils if he had been able to complete on the first try, the goal of ninety days, and say to myself, “here ninety days, you want to complete the goal or want to be like now if sorry for having failed again, and returned to day zero? “From there, I got up, head high, and resumed walking. In the first two weeks of Reboot, adopted the” HARD MODE “, so that there was a possible return of awareness on gender. During those two weeks without sex and without PMO, I went through days of extreme anguish and despair, lack of energy, apathy, distorted thinking, lack of concentration and a great desire to get into some porn site, to relieve me. My brain asked, desperate for PMO, was how to make the fuel a car that wanted to walk. In the days that would be difficult to endure, I was preparing myself for the pressure that would come, and I programmed so that would not be close to someone or a computer, especially for not to treat anyone badly, because in the days when beating the crisis abstinence, my mind and intuition did not work properly and can generate small to large disagreements. When there were crises, I looked like a zombie, it would not, did not want to talk and not to leave. I spent researching to find out how to get dopamine naturally in a healthy way, and found several food and sports activities, such as aerobic exercise. I adopted these measures, not only for the Reboot but for life. Already practiced bodybuilding for some years, and incrementei aerobic exercise to my routine, accompanied by good food. At the end of the physical activity, the feeling was great, well-being, vitality, mood, good mood, it was like putting the glasses and see the world differently. Cut food with high content of sugar and sodium, and realized that when we cut malicious means to obtain dopamine, are designed to look for it in a healthy way. If you cut PMO, as well as fatty foods, sugar and other things that increase dopamine to dangerous levels, you will only get dopamine doing the good things in life, which is laughing, chatting, meeting new people, doing real sex, love ( this act is also dangerous if not done the right rsrs way), go out, travel, see new places, being close to nature. Anyway, with more than two weeks of complete Reboot, I had sex with my girlfriend and I have felt an incredible improvement sensitivity, but I did not orgasm.The DE had disappeared and my erection was great. I care not to fantasize about anything during the act because fantasies are fruits of our addiction, in most cases. Even the forty days of reboot, could have sex quietly as my erection was normal, but could not have orgasms due to the ER.Until the forty days, I remember that I was in at least seven other day, feeling very strong withdrawal symptoms, which left me weak and unmotivated. The output was to put a headset and run for the crisis did not kill me. With forty days of Reboot, something incredible happened! In sex with my girlfriend, I began to notice an improvement in sensitivity, and when I least expected it, I began to feel that could have an orgasm right then if he wanted, and so I did. For the first time in a long time, I had a sex “pure” without using Cialis without costumes, without neurotic without erectile dysfunction, and without delayed ejaculation. I had an inexplicable feeling of bed next to my girlfriend after a good orgasm, as he had never felt before, seeing stars, elves with pots of gold (kkkk) was surreal. From then on it was only joy. I had a few moments of oscillation as the ER because there were days that still bothered me a little, but she was finally won. The seizures were happening, but soon lost their strength, would not let them take care of me. They begin to thin with a thought or pet peeve that can slow you down, but when it did, immediately replace it with a positive thought or some good deed, not condissesse with what my mind wanted. I started feeling benefits in other areas, I realized I’ve come to talk better with people, looking into his eyes and without that hurry to finish it soon. That social anxiety, of being in the middle of so many people, was replaced by the desire to be among people. I came out with my friends and laugh, as had not happened for many years. Wake up in the morning is no longer that PMO hangover and lack of energy. Today, according feeling refreshed after a good night’s sleep, and thinking about new opportunities and new day that awaits me. Looking women is no longer as before, when he looked and fantasized about them. Today, I see the detail, how to look, the smile and his voice. Also repair in your body, the corners, the way he moves, but not that malicious and dirty looking, induced addiction PMO. The HOCD was in the past, I feel no more desire to fantasize about men or transvestites, all neurotic I had before about it crumbled completely. Today I can stand alongside these people without costumes or neurotic. My male virility that was buried with the PMO, stood up in full force, I doing again have the essence that was buried for so long with the PMO. It is very good to have the desires that always had and not the desires that the PMO injects him. Being in girlfriend’s company became ten times better, and after this period of Reboot, I feel much calmer, without that restlessness and irritability to solve problems, which for the most part, had originated from my cold demeanor, created with the practice of addiction. Our good times multiplied, and my desire to be better next to it as well. Until she told me that I am now a completely different person than he was before, and I’m the same as she always met, but improved and much better. I feel the guy I was before internalize addiction, a mixed than I was ten years old, added to everything I’ve learned in this life until 23. Reboot was like a self-carving process. Carving all this dirty layer that the PMO has created, to bring back my essence, these many years was asleep with addiction. Calm, confident, patient and happy with the life I have and the people who are on my side. I recedido praise of how my body changed and how am beautiful (the accolades did not come from my mother kkkk). Already received subpoenas of two women, provocative looks and approaches, things will not happen years. The concentration, memory, focus and way of speaking are sharp as ever. Procrastination resigned because not stand much energy he had for the affairs of the day-to-day. Finally, what I can say is that the Reboot worth it. I will be strong going forward, knowing that not just fight here, but is eternal. There were more than ten years in vice, and ninety days are just the beginning of a war, but the first battle won. You have to use your head to not surrender to addiction, in this world full of filthy PMO. But I’ll be here, “firmão” to face the obstacles that come. I want to thank Project, for showing us the light at the end of the tunnel and a new start at the Bruce for helping me with any spell check my history Success, and my brothers Belpheg0r walk, Barney caught up, Flag, Luke Skywalker, Parsifal, Dungeon Master, Mario Vieira, Sulicato Insane, Bruce, Warrior A, Marquinhos, Curupira, Hulk Bolado, Ben 10, Winged Pikachu, Fat Boy Slim and the Black German Shepherd Mouth. You were instrumental in my walk, thanks for everything!
LINK (with soundtrack clips and Sar Wars gifs)
by Master Yoda