I’m a 23 years old guy from India. As a kid, I was sexually abused by a girl who used to baby-sit cum tutor me, she was around 7-8 years older than me.
I didn’t realize this until later when I told my friends about it.
I was introduced to porn and masturbation when I was 14 years old, by friends from my neighborhood. At first I was just curious about this feeling I used to get by touching myself. I got addicted to it. Ever since then, I used to fap to everything and anything I laid my hands on(magazines, pics in newspapers, DVDs, sex stories, etc.).
Now I realize what a pathetic life I had back then. Never had any girlfriends, had trouble having conversations with people. Always been laughed at and made a joke of in classes. Used to be so short-tempered all the time. I even stole money from my parents to play video games and watch porn in cyber-cafes(I didn’t have a computer back then). I got into bad friend circle later when I was 19 years old and started drinking, smoking.
Now I know this might not be relevant here, but the point I’m trying to make is: I wasn’t in control of my life anymore. I didn’t know what I was doing. I was being controlled by people around me. I was living a mediocre life, and probably would’ve continued doing so, if I hadn’t found NoFap.
Experience with NoFap challenge
I started NoFap challenge 2 years ago. Got to know about it on reddit. This is my third attempt at NoFap challenge. Last two times were 41 days and 85 days.
But I used to smoke, drink, eat junk food, play video games all day on those last two attempts. I had a really low self-esteem. Which is why it was getting harder and harder each day not to fap. I had this thought at the back of my mind, that I was going to give in eventually.
This time I started reading Self-Help books, working out, eating healthy food. As I was doing this, my self-confidence started growing and the NoFap challenge got easier and easier each day. Books like The Magic of Thinking Big by David J. Schwartz, 7 Habits of Highly Effective People by Stephen Covey and blogs like Actualized.org, ZenHabits helped me. And of course, the success stories on this subreddit were motivating.
First couple of weeks were hard. I had 5 wet dreams in first two months, and 2 in third month. Actually, the last one I had was exactly on 90th Day. 😀
Along with NoFap, every month, I try to start one good habit and kick one bad habit. Because I think small changes are more likely to stick.
Bad habits I’ve kicked so far:
- Playing video games.
- Eating junk food.
Good habits I’ve started so far:
- Working out.
- Eating healthy food.
- Drinking plenty of water.
- Saying ‘Hi’ to everyone I come across.(Seriously, I never used to do that.)
- Saving money.(Quitting smoking and drinking helped with this one.)
Still trying to quit procrastination, irregular sleeping patterns and start meditating everyday.
As of my social life, I’m no more anxious while communicating with people now. I’m genuinely interested in the conversation. I can judge people better now, to decide which people are good or bad for me. I am not influenced by “bad people” anymore. I’m in control of my life. 🙂 And I love this feeling.
I guess its about time I shared my experience with girls. My biggest problem with girls was that I was afraid. Afraid of what they’ll think of me. I look fine, but I had pimples and dark circles. And I was really conscious about them, whenever talking to a girl. A girl–friend once told me that I looked older for my age, being fat and all.(Because of junk food, and no exercise. Obviously.)
About 9 months ago, I started working out. At first, doing cardio for about 6 months to loose fat. And 3 months of muscle building. Along with this, I also started drinking lots of water. And it really helped clear my skin. My friends (girls even) complimented(in front of their boyfriends) me on my new look.
I’m not scared of girls anymore, I’m comfortable around them. So I transformed from being a weird loner, into being the charming guy. And NoFap had a major role to play in that transformation. I turned down a girl recently, because she was my friend, and I honestly didn’t have ‘those kind’ of feelings for her. I’m not exactly looking around for girls right now. Because I have a really important exam coming up in February, on which my life depends. And I don’t want to be distracted.
In the end, its all about choices you make on daily basis in your life. Deep down, you already know the outcomes of your choices. Every single time you make the right choice, you feel awesome. Every time you make the wrong choice, you feel shitty about yourself.
Do you have the courage to make the right choice ?
My next goal is to do 2 years on Hard Mode, to keep being awesome. And focus on my health and career in that time. Thanks for taking time to read my story.
LINK – Completed 90 Days! 🙂 Aiming for 2 years on Hard Mode. [My life summed up]