I thought I’d share my own NoFap journey thus far, in the hopes that it’ll inspire even just one person to persist in the struggle against pornography and masturbation. I joined the NoFap community in July of 2015 after having tried by myself to quit PMO for about five or six months. My longest streak during this time was four days. After joining and slowly getting longer and longer streaks, I suddenly found the courage to ask the girl out who I was fawning over since March of 2015.
We started dating, and it was wonderful. On top of this, my grades sky-rocketed. We eventually broke up (she was dealing with her own issues), but I kept at my school work and NoFap. I ended up graduating with the best honour’s mark ever at my university, and a few months ago the girl and I decided to try again.
On top of this, I’d been working out, eating right, and sleeping well. Our relationship is going amazingly, and I’m currently in graduate school. Right now we’re seriously considering marriage. I can honestly say that I expect to marry that woman.
During this time, my three longest streaks were 133, 81, and 57 days. I would not be the man I am today without NoFap. Those first few months by myself were insanely brutal. Easily one of the most difficult things I’ve ever done in my life. But it got easier when I found this subreddit and nofap.org. It got easier because I never gave up; I just kept trying.
I think what happened was threefold: 1) I slowly built up the resolve and energy to study harder. 2) I began to focus better and longer. 3) My NoFap struggles taught me self-discipline in sexual matters, which easily translated into the other areas of my life. I think staying away from PMO (yes, even M) affects one’s life in countless ways. Everything’s connected. Focus affects everything, as does discipline and energy.
I didn’t even notice a switch or anything. One day, I just realised that my grades had been getting better and better for a while. I ended up finishing my undergraduate degree with a 4.1 GPA. I got stellar letters of recommendations from my professors – and even the dean! I got a few awards and scholarships, and I even won an award for a short story I wrote valued at $1000! But most important to me, I won the love of a beautiful and caring woman.
Perhaps I can expound on what I mean by objectification. For me, it simply means viewing women solely as an object to be used for my personal gratification. If I say a beautiful woman and thought “great scotts, she has the most amazing body I’ve ever seen… what I wouldn’t give to censored“, then I’m objectifying her – that is, I’m making her into an object. On the other hand, by recognising that the woman I see is a human being, with thoughts, desires, emotions, quirks, and the like, I see first her humanity. It’s important to recognise this in other people, and to treat them as such – human beings.
I think that objectifying women is an unfortunate yet necessary side-effect of PMO. When we PMO, we train ourselves to view women as objects constantly. What else is pornography? We think: “Oh that one isn’t that hot”, or “She’s not doing it for me”. This line of thinking is beyond dangerous and degrading. Keep at NoFap, my friend, and you will soon find yourself viewing women with a new mentality. And THAT is where real pleasure resides.
My lowest lows are higher than my highest highs ever were. I’m able to focus incredibly well. My social anxiety has completely disappeared. I feel confident, attractive, and in control. Best of all, I’m completely in love with a woman who loves me back, and I don’t objectify her. I love her for who she is: another human being with desires, quirks, and flaws. In short, I feel HUMAN.
And it feels wonderful.
I am 24 years old. I started MOing when I was around 12; I think I started pornography around 16 – perhaps a little younger. I decided to quit because I converted first to Aristotle and his eudaimonistic philosophy, and then to Catholicism. I believe that reason alone can show us that pornography and masturbation are immoral, and that faith agrees.
Keep at it brothers and sisters. Get back up every time you fall, and you’ll become the person you want to be.
I love you all.
LINK – NoFap and success. My story.