Today is the day that I have finally made it past 30 days. I started attempting to change my PMO habit in high school (I am 24 now) and never could get past one month for the first a few years of trying to quit.
I was truly addicted to porn and I was not fully dedicated to getting rid of the of the main escape/vice in my life. It was always there for a quick hit of instant pleasure when I was feeling low, high, depressed, mad, pumped up, or anything in between. I had no control over it and I spent hours upon hours fixated on a screen, frying my brain, and wasting valuable time that could of been used on self improvement and making life fucking awesome. I always wanted to change, and as time went on I had some pretty good streaks, but I would always end up back at square one. Fapped out, skipping class and work, losing day after day to the horrible habit that had consumed my life.
‘Changing My Life’
My addiction to porn, left me depressed and confused. I would venture off into the deep dark lust filled areas of the web. I would look at porn that I did not identify with, but who cares right? It satisfied me and gave me crazy sensations that I had never felt. But the hit always left me wanting something more, and worse. I had lost my will, discipline, and self control. I was stuck getting by, and being alright with it, because I could always escape with porn. There was many of nights, filled with shame and disgust. I hated myself and who I had become. How could anyone ever love me? I do not deserve love. It was horrible and at times, after days of relapsing over and over again, trying to mask the pain, I would contemplate suicide. I would hit rock bottom once, and then a few weeks later after promising myself never again, I would find a lower rock bottom. The devil was winning and my life was going nowhere.
‘Having High Character’
But suddenly, I changed! I dedicated myself. I tracked my progress and wrote down my goals. I started taking cold showers, and telling myself positive affirmations while the cold water was pouring down my back. I am taking action and love who I am becoming. From rock bottom, a few months ago, to a man who is comfortable and confident. A man with direction and goals, who walks and talks like a boss.
‘I can see clearly’
It seriously is like night and day! I was stuck in the dark cave. A great man once said, “character is what you do when no one is watching.” Well fuck, at one my in my life my character attribute was a -100 and today it is at a solid 87! I do what I say and demand respect when I walk into a room. It feels damn good too, I walk around and people call me sir. I look people in the eyes and I am not afraid of anything.
‘SUPER POWERS’ lol
I know the whole spiel with super powers can get old, and people say its all placebo. Fuck that shit! I know what is real in my life, and since I have stopped looking at porn, I have developed super powers. I am now comfortable in my own skin, being true to myself and loving women more than ever. Seriously though, I get the craziest workouts now, and have infinitely more discipline and will power than I had when I was PMOing. I also have intense focus and concentration, like never before. The last effect that I will mention, it the clarity of mind, I feel pure and can talk to anybody about anything with this clarity. I genuinely feel the best I ever have at this moment! 🙂 So placebo or not Nofap superpowers are real to me!!
I got out of a 4 year relationship in December, that was pretty boring and loveless throughout. The first few months of going through the break up felt weird. When you are coming off being fapped out, you tend to be needy. So I had my neediness fulfilled with this girlfriend. Looking further though, I finally feel free from needing anyone’s acceptance to fulfill my insecurities. I am full myself and just want to give my abundance to others, women or men. My main goal has passed on from taking what others have, into giving what I have to others. I just want to spread positive vibes and give myself to others. As every truly successful person talks about,”you become successful when you start to give, instead of take.”
Last Friday, I went on a date and it was amazing. I was truly myself and had a great time being natural and confident. The girl I was with and I had an amazing time, and I was leading. I was comfortable being me and had nothing to hide. I had no alternative motives and was just looking to have a great time with a beautiful girl. We ended up back at her place and I slept over. It was really fun and we messed around a little bit. I was in the moment while I was having sex with her, not elsewhere trying to compare it to the last porno I watched. It is the fourth girl I have hooked up with since my latest streak, and before this streak I had only been with one girl the last four years.
Lastly, my key to successes are being reborn and fully dedicating myself to making my life awesome. I have written down goals and planned them out. I also have daily tasks and priorities to get shit done and to get better as person everyday. I take cold showers, exercise daily, watch motivational videos, and meditate. The main thing was dedicating myself to this new lifestyle that does not include PMO. Instead I am focusing on building my life, going to get my goals and living my wildest dreams.
If y’all have any questions, I will gladly answer them!