I’m 24. Lots of benefits.
- PE 100% gone. I’ve gone from ~30 seconds to about 3-4 minutes. Still not exactly where I want to be, but definitely an improvement. I’m taking this as a process. I did have one experience where I had a BJ that lasted 10+ minutes. Remember that the average guy lasts about 7 minutes, so every increased minute counts!
- Increased energy
- More confidence, especially around women (easier to sustain eye contact), more at ease with interactions in general
- More emotional (I find it easier to open up to friends and family, I feel a deeper connection with them – hard to explain this one). Thicker facial hair (Seriously I have a grown a man’s beard now)
- More defined body, quicker gains in the gym (I guess because more testosterone)
- More comfortable with sexuality (I always used to feel like I had to apologize for being sexual, now I am just comfortable about it)
A little background… I had a 120 day streak about a year ago. So in between was about a year of on and off attempts at nofap with no significant streaks (maybe a week tops) I relapsed because I was concerned about how long I was lasting in bed and thought that edging was the only way to increase endurance. NOTE: This is not the case!
While I am still working on it, regular exercise, including strengthening the glutes + meditation can do wonders for your longevity. My personal theory is that Premature ejaculation has a lot to do with weakness in the glutes, which causes strain and tightness on your pubic muscles causing PE.
My 4 Keys to Success
Repeat Mantra that you masturbating is no longer an option despite what you feel
I found on both of my successful streaks that I would begin them with repeating the phrase, and telling my brain that I couldn’t masturbate anymore. I would say “I can’t masturbate, it simply isn’t an option” “There’s just nothing I can do to make these feelings go away, PMOing is not an option, I am physically unable to touch my penis”
IE even if I was super horny and had a boner, I would still be unable to masturbate. It was almost as if I removed masturbation as an option. I never think on my successful streaks “if I masturbated this would all go away” because I had simply removed that connection from my brain. Your brain is easily tricked. It has trouble differentiating thoughts from actual truths. So if you tell your brain that you are physically unable to touch your penis and that you can’t PMO, eventually it will believe it’s true.
- Positive Mindset
I am always interesting reading the reports here as I notice that there is a lot of negativity and frustration on this subreddit. Don’t get me wrong, this is totally understandable! This is a really tough thing to overcome. But the truth is, one of the main differences I’ve noticed now as a successful nofapper is my positivity, compared to when I would PMO regularly.
Ultimately you need to have a positive mindset. This is a journey, and a joyous one at that. Stop treating nofap like its some burden – its not. It’s challenging and tough, but it’s also a lot of fun and exciting. One of my biggest breakthroughs was one day I was horny and turned on and had a ton of energy – I then realized that this is what being a man felt like. As in, this is just what being a man felt like, and a part of me was fighting that for some reason. You need to accept that these feelings are natural and normal and embrace your sexuality and manliness. There is no reason you should be uncomfortable feeling like this. You don’t need to masturbate this away, this is completely normal to feel this way.
If you relapse and get frustrated and ashamed and upset and angry at yourself and beat yourself up, you are STILL masturbating. I mean this completely literally, those same thought patterns that caused you to PMO are now manifesting themselves as these emotions. The most difficult thing to do when you relapse is to say “OK I PMO’d – I FORGIVE MYSELF. I can’t do anything about what happened. The only thing I can do is analyze what happened, figure out what were the causes that led me to PMO, and why did this happen so I can stop it from happening again. This leads me to my third point:
- Growth Mindset / Discovering your pre-PMO rituals
All of us here have pre-PMO rituals – if you are relapsing regularly you need to figure out what these are. For example, her were some of mine: 1. Browsing r/all until I would hit a gentleman boners post or a racy NSFW image. Then I would go to a subreddit like with nsfw images, then onto a subreddit with gifs, and then, well, you get the idea 2. Instagram – would look at pictures and get aroused 3. Hungover – would be hungover and watching movies in bed, and generally being lazy and would masterbate out of boredom.
BE HONEST AND OPEN about what these rituals are, and then make the changes to stop this. For me it meant
- I no longer go on r/all
- I no longer go on Instagram
- I don’t drink excessively as much to avoid bad hangovers
Always be humble in analyzing yourself and doing things to make yourself better.
- Reduce Arousal Input
This is my own variation on MONK MODE. I think that Monk Mode is impossible and you are never going to completely eliminate all arousing stimulus. You WILL eventually run into an arousing ad walking down the street, or see a music video or a magazine cover that turns you on. To say you can avoid all stimulus is, unfortunately impossible. BUT you can reduce the number of arousing images you see in a day.
I would estimate that before I started cutting down, I would probably see over 200 arousing things a day (including ads, images, etc.)
Today, it’s probably down to 10-20. All I had to do was:
i. Stop browsing r/all ii. Stop going on Instagram iii. Removing facebook feed from facebook page iv. Swiping LIKE for all girls on Tinder and only looking at girls I’ve matched with v. Reducing TV time vi. Reducing reddit time
Before when I was relapsing regularly, I would see TEN to TWENTY times the amount of arousing images as I do now. would have to use my willpower and self control TEN to TWENTY times more often to avoid PMO’ing. Simply by reducing images you can make yourself TEN TO TWENTY times more likely to succeed.
This means that when you do come across a really arousing image by accident, you will have the stores of willpower left to resist.
I guarantee you if you were to compare guys on 90+ day streaks and guys struggling to get past a week, you would see a MASSIVE difference in the amount of arousing things they see in a day.
Relapsing sucks. It really sucks. It’s a really shitty feeling. But know that in the seeds of every failure, is an even greater BENEFIT. Every time you relapse is a part of your becoming. Simply deciding that you think nofap is valuable, regardless of how many times you relapse, has already set you on a path to becoming a better human being. Remember that.
I remember how hard it was to read reports like this, because I could never fathom how I could ever get there.
The difference between me relapsing every other day and me at Day 87 is small. I was able to take an honest and non-judgemental look at my habits, make the changes listed above, and keep a positive outlook even when I struggled.
I do not have more willpower or innate talent at this. I just made a couple of small changes that created a big impact.
You can do this too. I believe in you. Accept what you cannot change (feeling horny), Accept what you can change (what you chose to look at, how you chose to spend your time) and accept the journey.
You can do this!
TLDR 1. Have a mantra that says you are physically incapable of masterbating 2. Be positive 3. Discover what leads you to PMOing 4. Reduce arousing images
LINK – 87 Day Report