It has taken at least three years to get here. There was a few bricks of wisdom needed to be laid down, so to speak, stuff I read on the forum. Then the motivation kicked in about four months ago, and from that point it was easy. But again, it took three years of struggle to get to that point.
I no longer live a double-life, spending hours of the day with my door locked, and then other times pretending like I’m above that kind of stuff. I’m 24. I felt immoral using porn. The types of porn I watched had escalated to beyond reasonable levels.
[Now] It feels amazing man! It’s the biggest accomplishment since getting my driver’s licence, which is hard and expensive in my country.
I did not go alone. I’ve got an accountability partner since a couple of months. And the forums have been really important.
One thing that’s happened is that people seem to put unusually (for me) much effort into speaking with me, like I’m a respected person that’s worth considering the opinion of. Before, I had to struggle a lot more to keep people’s attention.
I’m a bit less bothered by other people’s opinions. I’m not as intimidated by people in general. Except for really hot women. They are as intimidating as before. Maybe there are less women in that category, but I’ve yet to find out.
I’ve been really creative in finding excuses to meet women – when the mood strikes. I have periods of feeling really alpha, but sometimes confidence is low. It’s in the low periods that nofap is the easiest. Come to think about it, it’s probably the reverse of that. When testosterone is high, nofap is a struggle and every day is day one, but confidence is fantastic. When testosterone is low, libido is low, and not faping is easy.
Spontaneous boners haunts me sometimes, but that’s healthy, they go away just as quickly.
No gf, no porn, no masturbation. I catch women staring at me some times in a good way – that’s kinda amazing. I do want [a GF]. It was one of the main reasons for taking nofapfor seriously. I used to passively want it really bad, but not doing much about it. There’s a bit of scarcity of women were I live, but that is actually not an excuse because they congregate at times, so you can find them :p.
I’m no longer in despair about finding a girl. Through nofap, I’ve gained the courage to approach quite a few women, getting to know some of them a bit. It’s a natural thing, much more about finding a good match than anything else. I used to sweat over impressing the ladies, but that’s not the crux of the matter – and that’s pretty chill.
[I needed] At least three years on and off. There were a lot of things I needed to learn, both from the forums, the your-brain-on-porn website, and through own experience. It took me like a year to learn that you don’t actually have to fap, in any situation really. Not even if you were so aroused that you were making a mess producing precum. It actually took me over two years to learn not to fear the precum. It’s just fluid your body produces in some situations. Sounds ridiculous in hindsight. But I was a slave to urges.
I tried easymode, but that didn’t work for me since my first fapping experience was to porn. P, m, and o were intertwined in my head. I couldn’t stay off porn if I were jacking it, and I certainly couldn’t not jack it if I’d consumed porn.
Some of my close friends also turned out to struggle with porn, that was very enlightening. I couldn’t break out of it by knowledge alone however. It honestly took a combo of several experiences to set me straight and motivated to actually commit to not fapping.
A pretty girl showed interest in me, in a way that was honestly quite flattering. And I had never had that happen to me. Then she went away. Then I had a crisis. I realised my life was being completely wasted on stuff of no value. Then I had a religious experience. And then I was on my way.
Fun story: there was a slight hiccup at day 25. I was in a slightly psychotic state from exhaustion and sleep deprivation, and as I was going to bed a sexual thought crossed my mind and I started becoming extremely aroused. Then my cat jumped on to me and interrupted the whole thing. But not really, cause my mind got stuck in this aroused state. I couldn’t sleep, I needed to pee, but I was too hard to do it. I was so deranged, I couldn’t discriminate between dreams and reality. Like a fewer dream. After three hours I gave up and fapped. It did not help. I got no more sleep. It might all have been a intricate way of my mind to justify a relapse. I binged a little for a few days, but then 90 days clean.
tl;dr: social skills improved, confidence gained, attraction improved