Firstly, I like a lot of you, discovered the benefits of abstaining from PMO long before I found the Nofap community. It happened as sort of an accident.
I had been struggling with a weed problem/mild depression and it was beginning to affect my social life; as a popular member of a fraternity in college, I ended up being obligated to go to tons of social events, social events with lots of beautiful girls. I started to notice that there were some nights where I showed up at an event, and I seemed to have an almost magnetic effect on people. I was energetic, friendly, and socializing with every person around me, male and female. Then, there were other evenings where I would show up somewhere, and feel incredibly anxious, reclusive even. I would stay as far away from people as I possibly could and just wait for the party/gathering to be over; if a girl came up to talk to me I would barely be able to look her in the eye, much less hold a real conversation with her. To say the least it was really pissing me off.
So I started to wonder, what was going on with me? I started to examine all of the variables in my daily routine, yes I did conclude that I was a much more productive person when I didn’t smoke, but that couldn’t be the only factor in the equation, because sometimes I could still be social while high, and I would still feel anti-social at times when sober.
Then I realized that I was masturbating a lot, so much so that I didn’t even really enjoy it anymore, that it was just something I did purely out of habit, usually to fill time when I was bored of procrastinating. So like many of us here, I experimented with not fapping, and I noticed that if I managed to last 5-7 days I got that magnetic, on top of the world feeling back! Yes! Shortly after I saw a TEDtalk about the effects of porn on the brain, and then I found Nofap, the rest is history.
But what I really want to talk about is something else. A friend of mine, a guy I met who I really admired, I’d even go as far as calling him my “man-crush” if that helps haha.
This, guy (and his whole group of friends really) seemed to have it all, I don’t want to deify these guys, but from the perspective of 22 year-old college me, they were pretty awesome. A group of good looking in-shape guys, who were just genuinely nice people who liked to have a good time, but always kept their wits about them and never got “fucked up”; they all had that “magnetic” energy to them. But my one friend in particular stood out the most even though he was younger than me, he sort of took me under his wing and gave me a lot of great life advice. He had one girlfriend the entire time I knew him, and never cheated on her, but women were absolutely crazy about him. Anytime we went out together several girls would approach me and ask me “if my friend was single”, or “if I could introduce them to my hot friend”.
Anyway, we were sitting in his house playing video games one night and after a few beers started talking about girls, and I opened up to him about how I had never had a girlfriend, and was a virgin, etc. I expected him to either laugh, or just gloss over this awkward display of weakness I was having, but instead he said; “Do you masturbate?” I was shocked, no way he was a fapstronaut, this guy had no clue what reddit was when I showed him, and found it kind of strange. So I told him about my struggles with PMO and he agreed, he said; “I don’t really like to masturbate, it just makes me feel slimy, even the next day I feel lethargic the entire time.”
So that’s it, we didn’t really talk any more about it after that, but that was all I needed to solidify in my mind that I was better off without PMO in my life. Anytime I feel the urge to relapse I remember my friend, who unfortunately passed away last year, who I looked up to as the older brother I didn’t have. I didn’t write a 90 day report because I feel like there are plenty of posts documenting the affects of Nofap, but I did want to share this story with you guys, about what helped me get this far, and why I will never be ashamed to admit that I don’t want PMO to be apart of my life.