Hi brothers. I am 24 years old and started internet porn at my 18. During these 6 years, i got heavily pmo. I was watching and masturbating over 5, 6 hours. But there were little life periods where I could not stay just with PMO. My real relationships were very few but at least i could see my erection to real partners periodically.
About one month ago, i had an oportunity to have sex with a partner. it was very very exciting for me but i could not get erect whatever I tried for motivating to get erected. Next day, i tried to get erected with only masturbating and I failed again.
After that, i decided to stop porn immediately. But the second day i masturbated. in this masturbating session, i tried to get erected for a very long time and finally could get erected by using a cream for masturbation. (i think, cream means not death grip)
After that, i believed to i have recovered and said, “Yeah it’s okay!” But after aboubt two days, i had an oportunity to heve sex with a partner and i totally failed. it was very depressing and i decided stop porn and masturbating completely.
Again about the second day, i relapsed to porn. Yes it was very bad situation. My erection was huge as it hadn’t been for years. but of course it was not my real erection. After that i stopped pmo again and this time, i did not p, m or o for 1 week.
My cravings started to reduce about in third day and i started feeling very self confident and really good. I met my sister and i noticed i felt a very big urge to cuddle her and kiss her cheeks like our childhood. i think also non sexual feelings go bad with porn use. Anyway in this period while walking in the street, i looked at real woman to test my sexual desires and to rewire my brain.
In this period, i waited for flatlining but it did not come. After this no-orgasm week, i had real sexual intimacy and i could totally get erected. it was good. But reassured, I relapsed to porn two times. After these relapses, cravings assaulted me again very strongly but i did not continued binging then. After about 1 day, cravings reduced.
Three day from my last relapse, i had sex again and i could get erected successfully.
Maybe my PIED was not very deep. But i am sure it was a pied, not performance anxiety. i can share a few advices. The fastest way to recover is stopping masturbating completely. But pure masturbating is very, very better than porn. Relapse significantly retards the process but it did not mean a total reset. After a relapse, never binge again and again.
Thank you YBOP and good luck everybody.
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