Age 25 – From NEET to alpha to relapsing to refocusing

Roughly two years ago, I discovered NoFap for the first time. I was extremely depressed and desperate for a way out. I was slightly chubby, eating tons of junk food, binging on porn, playing video games. That was it. I’d stay up super late and always sleep in. I was 23-years-old, jobless, without a car, living at home.

I was a NEET, pure and simple.

After discovering NoFap, my live changed dramatically within the span of a little over a month. I lost a bunch of weight, I joined a gym, I started reading a lot, and I started eating healthier. Things were good… probably the most purely good it had ever been up to that point. Things hadn’t been easy. As a homeschooler, my NEET lifestyle went from the age of 14 to about 23. So that’s a good 9 years of that. So now I’d gotten into a routine and on an upswing of bettering myself. I had my answer. A few months in, I got a job as a stocker at a grocery store. Nothing big, but it was fantastic to finally have a source of income and something to keep me busy.

Interestingly, I had discovered, as a lifelong introvert (shocker), that I had a new-found confidence and sociability. I wasn’t a virgin, but just barely not one. Only had sex about three times up to this point. On my first day there I met a girl who just… caught my attention. She was different. Absolutely gorgeous, I couldn’t stop thinking about her. Then I discovered we shared a few interests. My infatuation grew. I found myself doing and saying things that were, to be honest with you, pretty alpha from my perspective. I was shattering my own expectations.

Long story short, a few months later, she’s my girlfriend. We’re having the best… well, intimate life we’d both ever had (and really only one I’d had at that point). Not to get too graphic, but we ended up having sex a few times a week. This was quite a shell-shock to me; going from a 4chan-type NEET beta to getting laid nearly every day with one of the most beautiful girls I’d ever known was quite a mindfuck. Still is, really. So a few months in, her school workload picks up, and I take on a full-time position at work. Our hookups become less and less frequent. Cue chaser effect. 😛 Eventually, we’re having sex less than once a week.

I can’t take it. So what happens? I start fapping again. No porn, just thoughts… then next thing I know, porn is involved. Funny thing about addictions… they masquerade and sneak in any way they can, right? So here I am, back at square one prior to NoFap, except I have a girlfriend. But guess what? She starts noticing soon enough, telling me how I don’t seem as focused, confident, and alpha I was when we met. Holy shit, she was right. I had placed all my chips into the girlfriend basket, completely abandoning NoFap or what its purpose was.

So, fast forward to January of this year, about a year into our relationship. We break up. I’m absolutely shattered… it’s a low point. I honestly felt like I couldn’t go any lower. So eventually I realize my only move is to jump back on the NoFap wagon, and this time I know to stick to my guns or I’ll find myself back at square one.

So here I am, 98 days later–having learned so many lessons in the past two years that I genuinely feel like a different person in just about every way. Turn over enough stones in your life and that will tend to happen, I suppose.

I would never claim NoFap has all the answers–heavens, no–but it can be the seed that you plant to springboard yourself into a better life. Or, maybe a more apt analogy–it’s like a key to a door. It isn’t the key itself that brings about change. You must find the key. Then take the key. They put it into the door. The turn the key… then open the door yourself. You can stop looking at porn and fapping, but if you continue with your old ways, sans beating your meat, nothing will change. But eventually, your dopamine will kick in and you’ll have the drive you were born with, that you were meant to have before you discovered streaming porn, and you will stand up, and make those changes, almost on automatic. For me, it’s like a clear mission. I’m simply looking ahead, figuring out in what way I can better myself. So far I’ve gone completely vegan, I meditate every day, do self-love affirmations, go to the gym three times a week, am back in school, and I read every day. Hell, I even got rid of my game consoles and blocked all distracting websites from my browser.

If I can do it, so can you. So do it, dammit. 🙂

LINK – 98 Days: My roller coaster ride of self-development. 

by wrathmont