I hope what I am about to say here will strengthen you and inspire you. My streak is not amazing like many of you here, (now at 4 months (120) and 7days) although I had once been in a 400 days+ streak and had fallen from it, yet I have learned some amazing things during these 4 months that Id like to share with all of you. Let me ask all of you a question:
Where do you think all your PMO addiction come from? My big hunch is that , you went into PMO because you were dissatisfied with your own lives. Maybe you have a stressful job, school, relational life , etc. PMO than becomes a filler for such a gap in your life. I also noticed that many fatherless men, (like me) would many times go into PMO to fill that gap. Men at PMO, I am calling us not only to a fight against PMO. But a fight for our lives. A fight for our masculinity. You see, PMO creates a very vicious cycle. Because you already do not feel like a man with confidence, power, assurance and status, you go into PMO to at last feel like a man with power and control. (which is weird because you’re watching someone else bang somebody…anyway). Then after PMO, you are basically emptied of all the energy that you need to pursue and fight for your masculinity. Yes, all that sexual drive and energy that goes away once you PMO, is actually used to fuel your ambition, your courage to pursue great things (career, dream, your dream girl). Then, after a while because you have no energy to pursue any dream, you don’t have the dream and so now you are at step 0 again. Dissatisfied, powerless, depressed, hopeless and alone. Then you go to porn. So the vicious cycle continues like that:
Step 1 – feeling powerless
Step 2 – PMO to feel “powerful”
Step 3 – Feeling powerless
Step 4 – repeat
Does this relate to you?
Here are the steps I took to get out of this amazingly horrific and devastating cycle.
STEP 1 – First step, is the hardest one of all. That is to reboot your system. You need to fight barehanded, you need to accumulate your sexual drive and energy. It means basic Nofap for at least 1 month. What will help you most in this first stage is accountability, and change of focus. Take a class on something, pursue something that you want to do and take small steps to keep you busy and motivated.
STEP 2 – Second step, once you had accumulated good sexual drive, you should start feeling more motivation to do things you usually wouldn’t do. In this stage, take that energy to slowly take back control of your life. Here, the focus is not too much on Nofap as much as on your life as a total. Look at your relational life, financial life, spiritual life. Use that sexual drive to improve in each of them. Read books, listen to podcasts to learn more and improve more.
STEP 3 – Three. Reap the rewards of improvement in your life. When you work on your relational life, you will reap the ability to attract any women you want (It happened to me.. I went from having no option to having too many options in less than 4 months). You will also reap financial or academic success, however small. My milestone was the ability to think big. Pursuing now to become a business owner and very hopeful! Learning various things and motivated to learn them.
STEP 4 – Let that rush of dopamine of achievement make you enter into a new cycle that consists of steps 2 to 4.
STEP 5 – Become a BOSS at Stuff , Kick Life in the face and teach others.
Guys, I never loved life as much as I do now. This is fantastic and it is the feeling of being a real man. A man who has control over his life and is fearless. Who care not about what other thinks and is confident and unmoved? I’m not in any means perfect of course, but I think we can all still get better every day.
Thanks to my accountability friends, this NOFAP community but most importantly I want to thank my God who fathers me every day and teaches me to become more like the man He had called me to be.