(Sorry for bad English) I am a twenty-some years old male. I would like to tell somebody about my journey about this new habit of no-masturbation-at-all thingee. So I decided to write my first reddit post ever, since I read first about this on reddit, and other people’s posts are helped me a lot. I hope this post will help somebody else too. Because this thing just works. Just works.
I had a really long relationship (started at my teenage years) which one is ended 2 years ago and I was like okay, but how do I met girls how do I ask them out how do I live a single life? The last time I did those kind of things are seemed really really far from present. So the opened questions lead me to an uncertain life. The change from a relationship to being single was happened so fast that I didn’t know what and how to do it all over again. So this uncertain and doubtful life led me to anger and depression. Self-evaluation problems and all the negative unhealthy vibes in my life started to grow and getting bigger and bigger each day.
A year has passed and I found a thing I really like.
I had the following issues in that part of my life:
- sleep disorders
- confidence problems
- lack of communication skills
- concentration problems
- low energy even on night outs and weekends
- and of course lots of masturbation and porn addiction
So I changed the miserable hours of thinking about a solution to my problems to masturbation. I had no sex life, I had no girlfriend or any other partner so I started to watch many hours of porn per day. Some days just half an hour some days even 2 or 3 hours. Which happened next was even more terrible what I had before. Depression was deeper than ever before in my life. I did not felt any happiness in anything I almost stopped playing guitar I didn’t liked the parties the night outs with my friends my whole world just started to fall apart.
One day, just some regular day after I had this simple idea while I was just walking to my bedroom after work: I will not live a sad and miserable life. That’s it, I’m done. I will be free and happy and beloved again. I’ll find a way and I won’t stop till I am done. I just won’t stop. I’ll do anything I’ll sacrifice anything to get my life back to get my mojo back to get my happiness back.
I want to be again the twenty some years old crazy, friendly, beloved, laughing good guy I was. I want a female companion I want to have sex I want feel normal I want to say goodbye to all my problems. So I started to search and almost accidentally I found this Ted video about a guy talking about NoFap and he mentions this reddit page and I was like:
“Live life without porn? Without masturbation? Why would anybody do that? Masturbation is healthy and a man have needs.””
Then I continued the research I watched another Ted video about no-masturbation life I spent hours of reading NoFap posts in reddit and I just decided:
I give it a try, lets say 5 days, maybe 10. If I not feel anything better It is just placebo and wont work on me. The first 3 days was hell, but somehow the kind of hell you like to get. Your body your chemicals are crying for the daily habit, the daily amount of porn. You are going to tear apart your mind says “I must not.” and your body is like “Comon just a little” but something inside you just getting it tight and you just wont surrender. It starts to build up a challenge, a goal that you must get.
Have you ever felt a little pain in your chest or arms after you did a great physical exercise? Or in your balls after you had sex for a long time?
A little pain after a great good thing is just like “Yes I feel alive and in these terms I mean I have never ever felt more alive before.”
So the point is at the first few days the feeling of your body is a little just like this or at least I feel this way. You suffer a little, you are tearing apart but a goal is starts to appear in front of you and the whole thing is just getting its purpose. It is like a game you are winning each and each day as you go to sleep at night after a day without masturbation.
At day 10 I was like “That’s it I did it now I am going to masturbate” and I opened my favourit porn site and scrolled the pages for a while and then something hit me.
Well, lets just not. Yes. I won’t do it, INSTEAD I start to work on my own project, or maybe I play my guitar I haven’t played for a while now. Yea, I am going to do that because I control. I am at charge. So I learnt that NoFap not just simply eliminates a bad and unhealthy habit it teaches you a lot of discipline.
So here I am at day 38 so let me list my superpower-kind-of-things:
I had this girl at a party I was really want to pick her up but she said no. I tried again she again rejected me. What did I do:
Old me would: Go home without any action, feel bad, masturbate, feel worse.
New me actually did: Go home, feel really good about AT LEAST I TRIED THIS TIME AND NOT JUST STAND LIKE AN IDIOT WITH A BEER AT THE WALL AND WATCHING EVERYONE ELSE HAVING A GOOD TIME. I did an actual move I tried it and It’s just the peak of the iceberg the rest is yet to come.
About at day 10 I started to do push ups on regular basis. I had this little exercise before in my life so let us examine the difference:
Old me did like: Do workout for a week, then skip days then forget about the whole thing and get messed up again.
New me: I HAVENT SKIPPED A SINGLE DAY. I see my body change at the mirror for the first time in my life. Amazing.
- The art of resting
Now I know what normal people do when the sun don’t shine.
Old me: Go to bed after midnight, lie at bed for an hour with eyes opened, have nightmares about my ex, wake up, late from work.
New me: Go to bed early, get up early. Have sex dreams. Somebody don’t like wet dreams I don’t have problem with it.
- Lady magnet
I started to spent time with planning how I will dress and what to wear.
Old me: Wear the same old clothes I had for years and only go to buy clothes when I literally don’t have anything to wear. Oh and of course I hated everything about shopping, the people the shops the prices, everything.
New me: Spent hours in the mall, actually enjoying shopping, bought some good looking stuff. I feel dapper again, really boosted my confidence level. Chicks actually checking me and making eye contact for loooong moments with a smile.
- Perpetual motion machine
Spare time was never ever this useful as it is now.
Old me: After I came home from work I went to the land of porn to came again. Then browsing the internet without purpose, maybe watching a movie. Or watching a movie again with tits and asses. Then order unhealthy and high-priced food.
New me: After I come home from work I do my dinner. While I eat I organize in my head what will I do in the rest of the day. I do my regular push ups then I work on my project or read the book I just started or practice on my guitar. Each and every minute of my day is productive.
So to sum up the situation, I had these thoughts about NoFap:
- It is not just stopping masturbation
It is changing your philosophy on your life. (And not just reading a facebook post with a deep sentence about changing your life then do the opposite again) You can do this in many other ways NoFap is just one of them. A very very very efficient and good way.
- Porn is unhealthy.
Yes. Stop thinking the other way. Somebody drinks alcohol or smoke cigarettes in their whole life and live 80+ years, and some other folks are die at the age of 30 by lung cancer. Porn works just like that, somebody not get addicted and not really changes his life and for some other people It is. It has the potential to do terrible things with the mind and body of a man. It fakes the picture how you think and look at women and what you like in bed. Porn is not real, porn is drug, porn is addictive, porn is unhealthy. Yes maybe not for everyone, but if you have issues, it is more definitely worth a try to start NoFap.
- With NoFap you can actually learn how to give up a bad habit.
I haven’t played computer games for like 20 days now. More free time for doing ACTUALLY USEFUL things like going out with my friends, read a book, learning new things in my career, work on my project, playing guitar, anything. I advise you to select another bad habit in your life and eliminate it along with masturbation. You definitely will be surprised big time how much useful things you can do and how your life change slowly with each day.
The choice is always yours
As well the responsibility. When you think about NoFap as “This is bullshit I wont believe this” or “Why would not watching porn change my life I love porn why would I stop such a thing” Imagine yourself from as you look at yourself from another point of view like from an other person.
Do you REALLY know how something work while you actually did not gave a try?
Do you think I write these lines just to practice typewriting? I want to help you just like other people’s posts helped me. You are the only one in charge, cannot blame others for your life, so chose responsible.
First goal was 10 days. I am at day 38 and the new goal is 60+ days. Maybe I write an update about new superpowers and my progress.
Thanks for reading.
You can do it. Start now.
I’ve been doing NoFap since one and a half year now. The enormous personality development, the reaching of my goals and the safety of my new non toxic girlfriend are just the greater things I would like to thank to NoFap community. Especially, to you guys. There were only a few days in my journey when I did not browsed this subredit.
There are no words for the huge positive effect what people achieving here. It’s heart warming and extraordinary. Really is.
My life has changed, so do I. But it has brought some unexpected difficulties as well.
I have grown up with the best boys I knew in my entire life, we did so much fun together. So much memory… We were like a wolf pack.
But the truth is, as I have hiked on this road called NoFap, my friends became more and more distant. It’s not about they are hating me or anything like, we just cannot talk about a thing. We are 27-30 years old, they are still playing video games for days, smoking marijuanna, getting drunk till they throw up. Listening to shity music, no hobbies. They have no future plans, most of them are disrespectful in general with people. The only positive thing that I could say about them that they are visiting the gym some time.
I was seeing this for some time now but could not accept it. All the time I was thinking the problem is with me. That I should care and talk to them more often, but I really can’t.
You could say that It’s part of life, and I shall get new friends. But the thing is, it’s really hard to get new friends at the age of 28. We were grown up together and did so much crazy and fun things together. Girls came and went, schools and universities came and went, music bands came and went, but we were all together.