Age 25 – Social interactions better than ever, intuition up, anxiety down


I’m currently 25, and I could go on and on about the benefits. I would describe myself as an introvert. I’ve been a hotel bartender for the past two and a half years, and my customer/co-worker interactions are better than ever, and I find myself accessing my natural intuition much more easily in and out of meditation.

I am suddenly connecting with coworkers that I spent two years ignoring – too bothered by racing thoughts.

Part of the reason I simplified meditating from specific techniques to simple deep breathing was from a total reluctance I’ve developed to “going through the motions,” and this was reflected into my workouts. After a two year plateau of contentment, I have become much more mindful and focused on improvement and progress when I’m at the gym, nor am I trying to ovecompensate at work despite knowing when it’s time to get my shit together.

To sum that up, I find my sense of contentment waning with FAR less of the accompanying anxiety that used to go with that, and I just have a generally more active baseline, physically, emotionally and spiritually.

My sexual dissatisfaction stemmed from my introversion and discerning nature. I never was and never will be the one night stand type, and I’ve allowed myself to grow into this nature more fluidly. I now see it as a crucial part of my creative process. I’ll reiterate how hard the first few weeks were – I would wake up EVERY morning with intense sexual urges, and they would persist until I meditated and distibuted that excess energy. I no longer get such intense ‘morning wood,’ as I find that this practice has helped me to subconsciously redistribute my sexual urges more consistently.

I will admit, though, that I believe this current result is an amalgamation of my sobriety, diet, spirituality and other factors – not simply from abstaining from fapping, though I do see it now as a crucial step.

And I’m doing quite well, now. I started this without any knowledge of this subreddit, but came across it as I began to do a bit of outside research, and I’m beginning to draw some interesting conclusions that I think this board may find interesting.

The reason I started this was due to a lack of sexual fulfillment which I always knew was present in my life, but was willing to ignore until I became completely sober. I quit drinking alcohol in 2013 after graduating college, after a bad relationship with an alcoholic had ended, but there were still many layers of mechanisms over my authentic sexuality I was unaware of until this year when I took up the practice of daily meditation. I learned a few tantric breathing techniques, but have since then simplified to just deep breathing.

I began daily meditation in March, and since then, I’ve been able to intuitively recognize and overcome blocks in my life. I gave up smoking weed that same month, and began writing my book (300 words a day. Currently at 52,000. Shooting for 100k). Four months later, I gave up caffeine, realizing it was exacerbating my anxiety levels (I’m much more level at work, now), and then after that (60 days ago), I recognized that pornography and daily masturbation was a negative outlet for my energies.

I will say that when I come here and read about how people are having to struggle so much in just two weeks, I can only think of how impossible this would have been without my meditation practice or my sobriety. The first three weeks for me, were HARD. My energy was everywhere, and I suffered a bout of insomnia, but if I was doing drugs and not meditating or havr my book as my outlet, I absolutely would not have been able to do this, so my advice is this – as someone who has been weightlifting for 5 years, getting what you truly want out of life is a PROCESS and you are MEANT TO FAIL. What is important is that you SHOW UP EVERY DAY. There are MANY ways to show up, but the longer you let yourself give up and live an inauthentic life, the more directionless you will become. Your authentic self demands only the best from you, so you must start small, and you must COMMIT to something GOOD. Even if it’s just to show up to work with a good attitude, or to cook for yourself every day, or to be creative in some way, but you don’t become celibate overnight by simply WANTING it. Your have to create your own support system step by step.

Since those first few weeks, things have leveled out quite a bit, and now I sleep much more naturally. Two weeks ago, I began to keep a dream journal, and what’s fascinating is that in my recall, I can very often see myself watching porn, doing drugs and eating junk food (all things I avoid now), and I’m still discerning what these dream binges actually mean to me. I feel as though my subconscious is still addicted, even though I have been able to abstain. I am only at day 60, and I still have much to think about and explore, but I just wanted to leave this here – I’m not spelling out a path or checklist of things you need to do. I’m only sharing my experience and hope that it somehow helps.

LINK – Day 60.

By doubletstep