To say this has been a long journey is a definitive understatement. Since the age of 13, I slowly began to dive into an abyss known as addiction, though I had no idea until about two years ago.
I thought it was normal to look at porn multiple times a day, spending hours chasing the magic dragon dubbed a dopamine rush, but it turns out I had a problem. My confidence was gone and social anxiety had taken its spot. I had no female interaction except for the litany of names I typed into the buffet of x-rated search engines, and the saddest part of it all was I did not care. I did not care how I looked, felt, or how my basic biological need was being ignored. I was literally dating my computer for a solid year and a half, but the relationship started as a flirtatious rendezvous nearly a decade before.
However, one day something changed, which led me to do the same. In early 2013, I discovered this subreddit, and I was gung-ho from the get go. . . until things got hard and my willpower faltered. I have always been rather disciplined with habits many cannot master; eating well, sleeping enough, hitting the gym with vigor, but when sexual urges came into play, I got on my knees like a little bitch and gave into their every desire. The initial relapse was a slap in the face, so I tried harder, then relapsed harder. This continued for the course of the next year, but I never noticed the gradual progress made. I was so focused on ‘never fapping or looking at porn again’ that I neglected my own accomplishments. I unknowingly went from masturbating three times a day, to two, to one, to every other day, to twice a week, to once every seven days, to eventually letting things falling into place while developing a moral disdain for pornography. I have always been a pretty strong guy; I grew up on a farm in a small town 45 minutes east of Nashville, TN, but my gains have increased in the gym, my life has gotten exponentially better, and I am closer to success than I’ve ever been.
[From post 11 months earlier]
185 lbs, writer, weightlifter, professional wrestling aficionado, someone who really likes watching naked women do just about anything, but also someone who likes to better himself on a daily basis. I have recently been giving the NoFap movement a go, and I must say, I feel my testosterone surging through my body like I was struck by some masculine lightning bolt, but I’m not here to brag about that.
Started NoFap; Rediscovered Passion.