After years and years of trying I finally made it. There are many of these 90 day posts, I want to use mine to help you guys as best I can. I have a very set approach to nofap that has worked tremendously for me. The idea is: Stop making nofap so hard for yourself and Set yourself up for success by changing your environment. You can read my past posts this streak to see more specifics.
- If you want to be successful in nofap, it’s not as much about stopping pmo, it’s about disrupting the dopamine addiction cycle you have in your brain. You can stop this right at the source by changing your environment. Did you know that the majority of heroin overdoses occur when the user shoots up in a new location (their friend’s house)? This is because before shooting up at home their body starts preparing itself for the hit. It knows the location, the stimulus around it. There’s no wonder when you get home to your quiet room and close your door and look at your computer that you get urges. Or when you are scrolling through facebook. Or you open a new browser window. Your body starts preparing for your hit. You get all excited. I noticed this in previous streaks. I would be at 14 days and start thinking of pmo and I would even start shaking. It was so freaking weird. This is when it clicked for me. It became so clear to me that even if i didn’t look at porn, I would still scroll through facebook and get that brain numbing high. I would go into that feverous searching mode where I was blinded to the world and i wasn’t even thinking. Maybe you guys can relate. Find out your triggers and kill them. I will never use Tinder ever again because the swiping.
- Change your environment to stop this mode. Don’t even let it start. I blocked the facebook news feed, unfollowed all my friends, deleted instagram from my phone and set up website restrictions in my iphone settings. I added k9 to my computer. I bought a cheap alarm clock to wake me up instead of my phone and I left my phone in another room. I stopped using my computer after 10pm. Only you determine your success. You can blame people, the internet, society, but really: If you want this bad enough you can do it. If you want extreme results you need extreme measures. It’s not forever, once you train yourself to be strong and resist the urges, the glory is forever.
- Dedicate yourself to self improvement. Join the gym, get a new program, eat healthy, start meditating, vet your friend circle, read, pick up a hobby. Channel all that energy into something good.
- Once I set this stuff up it was almost easy. Yes I had a lot of urges, but because I wasn’t looking at any sexy stimulus it just felt like I needed to pee really bad. My brain tried so hard to conjure up images to get off too but it was clasping at straws, I had starved it so hard that there was nothing there. This resulted in a super pure streak – where I felt the superpowers like I never had before. I was so sensitive to life, I became super curious. I will never go back to that life before.
How has my life changed?
- I became super curious. I started learning a new language and thinking about travelling. I realsied I needed more money so I dedicated myself to my side business – putting in crazy hours each day. The result? I’m now living on the other side of the world, working remotely from my computer, learning spanish, meeting beautiful latinas, I’ve learned to dance and i absolutely love it. My life is 100% better than before. I can’t even imagine going back and living that life. Sitting alone in the dark of a stale bedroom jerking off to some fake videos that resemble nothing of a human connection.
- I build human connections stronger than your boner on nofap. Seriously, I was in Spain and several times had girls tell me after the first date that they felt like they had known me for years. I no longer have that dripping shame. When I am with someone they have all of me. I’m not hiding a weird fetish, not feeling any shame, I am not wearing a mask.
- I am taking way more risks. Not stupid risks, but I am just thinking ‘will I die?’. Before I ask that girl to dance salsa I think ‘will I die?’ and that weird fear just melts away. I have met some awesome people in these 90 days, made new friends, seen things and places that have blown my mind. I feel like in 90 days I’ve grown 5 years older. It’s insane.
- I have become way more attractive. Everyone says this but it’s true. Before, girls never told me I was attractive. Now they are flicking their hair and laughing at everything. I have this super confidence where I when I meet a girl I think ‘of course she will like me!’. Thinking about it now, this sounds so narcissistic, but it’s this self assurance, even if she doesn’t like me it’s ok, I still have myself, my identity, and there are lots of other people out there and she is not made to give me validation.
- Sex is mountains better. This is a given, with the strong human connections sex goes to another level. I love the smell, the touch, the eye contact, the words, everything that isn’t in porn is something I have always missed.
- Write down your goals. I do this every day. I write my to do list and 3 goals. This sets my mind on the right path every day.
- I sent myself emails into the future. Sounds weird, it kinda is, but I love it. It’s one of my hobbies. I write letters to myself with futureme.org. I found this super helpful because I knew that I had an email coming on day 30, 45, 60, 90, etc. Often when I’d had a great day or I had mega urges I would sit down and write to myself. It was super helpful, like a mini pep talk.
- Keep a counter. On my phone – I did this with meditation, cold showers, gym stretching too.
- Cold showers – super super helpful when I had blue balls, super urges, etc.
- I never had wet dreams, I had sex a few times and I wish i had a wet dream some nights – when I would have a date and have super blue balls. but it never happened.
- I had a flatline at about day 20-40. I hated it, I met some great people. And 2 girls that were really keen on me but I had 0 motivation to do anything with them. I felt so emasculated lol. But I read a lot of posts and knew it was part of the journey so I stuck through it. I just made myself busy with work and tried to stop thinking about it.
Where to from here?
* Next goal is 100. After that, I’m never going back to pmo. never. I honestly can’t believe I’ve made it this far. I feel like I’ve been given a 2nd chance at life. I am a guy that was super super addicted to pmo. 5 times a day. No social skills, I felt like I was numb to my whole life.
* I’ve moved away from trying to have sex all the time. from day 50+ I became super obsessed with one night stands. It was fun at the time and I had some crazy adventures but really, it wasn’t what I thought it would be. I’m not more open to a girlfriend but really, I am super happy alone too. If it happens it happens.
* Final words: Keep fighting guys. The fight is 100% worth it. I will never go back. I am actually living life right now. Travelling the world, working, learning, experiencing.
I am 25.