I discovered nofap in September and this has been my second streak so far, my first one was 10 days, followed by a bit of binging, followed by my current streak.
I wanted to write a report when I was at 21days…at 50 days… etc, but I never really had enough time to write a proper “report”, but now at 90 days I will do my best to get/keep you all motivated 😉 Reports of others have helped me too, so I feel like returning something 🙂
Ok so first of all some information about me:
I have a very self-aware personality. I turned 26 last week, PMO addict since I was 13 years old, back when I got my first PC with an internet-connection. So almost half of my life I was wasting time on watching porn. I was a super addict. Usually 2-5 times per day, double that on weekends. Until September I had a porn collection the size of around 1.3 TB. I had an external HDD just for Porn, nothing else. It was like my little treasure, worth more than anything else. Everything was sorted, I had arranged playlists for whatever I wanted to watch, like certain porn stars, certain categories, and an ultra playlist featuring everything on the HDD that I would use in shuffle mode most of the time. It sounds really fucked up, now that I think about it, but believe me, that thing was like a holy object for me.
My life has seen up’s and down’s. 2014 was probably the most terrible time in my life. Not going to go into detail, but believe me, I have pretty much seen the abyss of life itself. Early 2015 I somehow managed to get back on my feet. I got a new perspective on life, got a new job, moved to a new town, met a couple of new people and made new friends (I struggle at meeting new ppl but I somehow managed, luck I guess). I started attending gym in June 2015 because I had lost a lot of weight in 2014. In the beginning I attended the gym 3 times a week for about 3.5 months, doing a full-body workout. So all in all I was already doing pretty well, I recovered from the downfall that I had seen in 2014. So why did I start nofap in September?
I have 2 IRC-Mates, both about my age. I have known both of them since I was 14 years old from childish IRC-channels from back then. By now I have met both of them IRL a few times, so I do consider them as friends. One of them mentioned nofap a few years ago and said that it is awesome “blabla superpowers, guys it is real”, but the other mate and I were like “hahahahaha….nop, not going to do that”. That was a few years ago. So in September of 2015, I had once again purchased a 1-month account for a certain one-click-hoster website. In other words: a porn flatrate, if you know the right websites that host their stuff to this one-click-hoster. So I was all horny and downloading gigabytes of porn again, as usual. I told my other mate that he can use my acc too, to grab some porn. His reply was pretty much “thanks but no thanks, I started no fap a while ago”. That got me REALLY curious, because I had always known him as a fapping-monster, just like me. He told me about the benefits of nofap and showed me the video called the great porn experiment (which all of you should know by now!!!).
In this video it is mentioned that fapping can cause attention deficit disorder. That’s the point that really struck me. The thing is, I was diagnosed with attention deficit disorder in 2014 and the root of all my problems and failures in life has been attention deficit disorder. I was not yet taking any meds (I was about to get them soon) but I knew that IF this ‘nofap’ was a way to somehow help myself (without the need of meds) then I would be one stupid idiot if I would not at least give it a try. Also I knew that this will not work if I own a hard drive containing all my fave porn. So I did what needed to be done. I consider this as a manly thing, because a little girl would have cried. I will never forget the moment when I finished watching the porn-experiment video on YouTube, then alt-tabbing into my irc-client, telling my mates: “guys, i will give nofap a try… i will now delete all my porn”, then navigating to my external drive… and formatting the whole drive. That was the point of no return 😉 (i hate streaming porn, so hdd-porn was all I ever used).
Ok so here is where things started rolling. All of you know the first few days of this war. Well, I relapsed after 10 days. I started a new streak and here I am at 90 days and all I can say is: LIFE.IS.FUCKING.AWESOME. I can share a few tips and tricks that CAN make it easier but there will always be a FIGHT against the urges. Those urges have not ceased after 90 days. I do think it takes a few years to cure/reprogram oneself, because after YEARS of masturbating, you can’t just turn around and walk away…. it takes more time get rid of this habit. So the advices I give you are probably the same ones you’ve read countless times on this sub, but seriously this is how it works! You should always have something to do, don’t ever get into the situation of boredom, because that is the moment your urges will be strongest. Gym has been recommended on this sub countless times. Right after starting nofap, I increased my gym routine. I started a split-workout, hitting the gym 5-6 times per week (4 days in a row, 1 day break, working on different body sections each day). Cook a fresh meal IF you have time for that. Stop postponing stuff that NEEDS to be done. JUST DO IT, be a fucking man, not a little kid that is unable to do stuff. Also I like to picture celebrities or characters that are badass, and when I am on the edge of giving in to the fap, I try to think “what would xy do in this situation ?”. For example: If fapping was an enemy of batman, batman would be fighting the fap and not be a fucking loser who would give in. I like to imagine stuff like that, it sometimes helps me to man-up.
I was also seeing a girl in October. I had known this girl for a long time, not very well, but I knew she was a great and that we had a lot in common. My mistake was that I had already put her on a pedestal. She was perfect in my eyes. After our first 2 dates I had a real crush on her. And every time we met, I would just get lost in her eyes and think about how perfect she is. I am not a rookie at woman, so I played all my cards right, but well, I had put her on a pedestal, so I was already trying everything to make her mine. Anyways. She was really busy, so there were a few weeks between our second and third date. We did phone and text a lot though. Well, during that few weeks when we didn’t see each other, I had been ramping up 21 days of nofap. So when we met again, I was already feeling different, I could feel the little ‘reboot’ that nofap delivers after a few weeks. I am not 100% sure if the following was caused by nofap or if it was just the few weeks of not seeing each other BUT, on our third date, I just saw her in a different light. I felt much more of her …aura? Her spirit? Her presence? I don’t really know how to describe this, but I could sense her in a different way. And because I was able to do so, I realized that I don’t have any feelings for her. That was really confusing, having met the most beautiful girl in my life, knowing that she was a little nerd like me, but noticing that she’s not the right one, just sensing that it would be a stupid thing to chase her, and trying moves on her. So after that, we stopped seeing each other. We still text though, but we just talk about stuff like TV Shows, Star Wars, Nintendo, etc., nothing too personal related.
I’ve seen countless stupid threads in this subreddt recently like “I just had sex”, “I just met a girl”, “all the girls are staring at me”. That is not what this should be about. Sure it MIGHT happen but it shouldn’t be a goal or anything. I haven’t noticed any girls staring at me or anything but I have noticed that I am less shy and anxious in terms of social interactions. I used to avoid everything and just stick behind my PC, diving into MMOrpgs and hide from life. I can say that I have turned 180° and am now someone who is able to approach others, go out and seize the day and live life. And I think that is something nofap can give you. You will just be able to man-up and not be afraid of everyday stuff. You will feel more comfortable in your own skin.
Other benefits that I have noticed (already within the first month):
- my face acne has almost vanished.
- I have less struggles getting out of bed in the mornings.
- brain fog is gone
- less tired overall.
- less demotivated to do “work” stuff. I can just get stuff done, and feel good afterwards. I always had trouble starting something.
- I also do believe that it has helped me with my attention deficit disorder, but I am not 100% sure.
stuff you benefit from after day1: MORE TIME ON YOUR HANDS, PMO IS A FUCKIGN WASTE OF TIME!
What else can I say ? I used to browse this subreddit a lot during the first 30days of my current streak. I remember one guy posting right after relapsing, describing all his feelings and how shitty he was feeling that very moment. That one post gave me alot of power. Whenever the urges are really strong and I almost give in, I then think about that post, describing the feelings of failure after relapsing. That saved me many times, cause my mind would picture me, feeling like shit, and that it would be a really stupid thing to give in. The moment you have urges, you stop thinking clearly. Try to keep your goals in sight, always!
I don’t really know what else to say. Just keep yourselves busy, be productive, don’t spend TOO much time in front of the PC (know your limits!). You shouldn’t abstain from doing PC stuff, but if are sitting in front of the PC and notice an urge after a while, you probably spent too much time on the PC haha. Three options to do if this happens:
1: Take a cold shower
2: Get dressed and leave the house and take a walk. Urges usually go away really fast once you are outside of your house.
3: Socialize. Meet someone, hang out with other people.
So yeah, I guess this is my 90days report 😉 keep it up guys, delete your porn, man up !
Forgive me for any grammar or spelling mistakes. English is not my first language, but I think I did an overall good job on this essay haha.