Day 95 – My streak started with 67 days of hardmode. Hardmode was broken with sex. Since then I have been somewhat sexually active, but still no porn or masturbation.
I had previous streaks since last October, around 20-40 days in length.
No more porn I was a daily user of porn before last October, and struggled with ending streaks up until I started this one.
I always felt guilty when watching hardcore crap. Looking back, it’s disgusting how perverted I got with it. I am seeing women with their beautiful glow and vibrant auras now. Rather than just staring at their parts.
No more masturbation This is the most important change for me. Before last October, I would go up to 3 times a day without care. Over time since then, I’ve learned how detrimental and disgusting masturbation is. It’s nothing more than self rape. It used to make me feel like sh*t after jacking off. I used to have testicle pain from it.
Nowadays, the only time I will release semen is during intercourse. If my girl doesn’t want it, then I know that I have an opportunity to recuperate strength, vitality and focus. I’ve learned that not releasing semen is actually a GOOD THING.
Much greater capacity for emotion This is the most beautiful and most difficult truth to face. Ups are incredible. Downs are real and have forced me to make changes in my life. Some of these changes include working extra to pay off debt, working harder to get a promotion, and being totally honest with others. I have developed a sense of love for everyone in that I know everyone has someone that loves and cares about them. So everyone should be respected and looked at as another beautiful human being with a soul.
Sex is an act of love, not perversion With the lady I have been reunited with, we have shared a new found love with each other. A connection we could never make before, because of my perversion. Sex with her is natural and out of the heart. I don’t care about staring at her parts, we are staring into each others eyes and feeling the love, more than the pleasure. This has caused us to grow closer in daily life.
Where to go from here?
I plan to never masturbate or look at an ounce of porn ever again. 95 days feels like a good start. But I have a long way to go. And no matter how far away from it I get, there is always that little demon in the back of my head that must be checked and tamed.
I want to only release semen once a week or less with sex. Any more than that drains too much vitality. I have talked to my lady about this and she is very understanding.
If it doesn’t work out in my current relationship, it’s an opportunity to grow to great strength again. I felt like I was on fire at 67 days before I broke the hardmode streak. If you are cutting out PMO, and you have no partner to share sex with, you have an amazing opportunity to grow to amazing heights. You will become so strong and free with hardmode. You will become a man of men. A warrior. You are free, embrace it.
What caused this streak to work compared to past failures? During the beginning of this streak, I told myself there was no other way. Through life and DEATH, I would pursue this no matter how painful or hard it got. I meditated and prayed extensively in the beginning. The foundation I built was an attitude similar to a monk’s.
Physical and Mental Benefits When I was on hardmode, I had moments of incredible bliss after about 40 days. I have become more toned and strong. I can take hits and falls all day and get up the next day to do it again. My flaccid size has increased and my erection strength is much better. Much more so during hardmode. Though sex doesn’t take nearly as much out of me as masturbation ever did. Everything is easier. I compartmentalize my thoughts easier and remember work tasks without writing them down. I remember people’s names easier. When I was on hardmode, I got a lot of respect and attention. I still get some, but not like it was. That is fine with me. Just want to be a simple man.
I think that sums it up. Thanks for reading, best of luck on your journeys!
LINK – 95 days and counting