I am a 26-year-old man and have struggled with ED for my entire life. I have never been a promiscuous type, so I knew “nerves” weren’t my problem, but I never knew what was wrong with me. I used to cling to relationships with terrible girls [partially] because of the fear and anxiety brought on by the notion of “learning how to have sex” with somebody new, given my lifelong ED struggle.
Sex [with a new partner] worked typically only when under the influence of alcohol, with gratuitous foreplay or oral sex, or in a long-term relationship (6+ months) and a lot of comfort. Again, I never knew what was wrong with me, but I felt incomplete, and threatened by all other guys, because I felt insecure; fatally flawed, if you will. I experienced the entire gamut of porn addiction symptoms: eternal lethargy, low self confidence (until midway through college), acne, social anxiety, inability to focus, delayed ejaculation, loss of sensitivity, and of course the reason I eventually searched so deeply for an answer to my problems, PIED.
And I’m here to tell you the odds were stacked very high against me, but I have WON! And if you’re having doubts, LOSE THEM, because you can too!
So fast-forward to my current situation: I started dating this amazing girl about six months ago. Our relationship has been awesome from the start; we have a ton in common, she is the embodiment of everything I had hoped for, and she’s my first ever redhead (and a HOT one at that)! So about a couple weeks into our relationship, I seduced her and things got hot and heavy, she was dying for sex, and I couldn’t get it up. I chalked it up to nerves and we moved on.
Well over the 10+ tries over the next couple months, sex wouldn’t work. I thought it was an arousal problem. I had my testosterone checked, ended up being on the high end. I was given Cialis samples to “give me my confidence back,” and devastatingly, they didn’t work. I tried to cut out caffeine, get more sleep, eat more fruits and vegetables. Nothing worked. Every failure, I went back to porn, to prove to myself I could still get an erection. I could. However, trying to touch myself while fantasizing about my girlfriend, nothing happened. Nothing. Come to find out, that’s one of the tell-tale signs of PIED, but I digress…
At this point, I thought maybe it was sexual incompatibility; I mean, why else could this not work? At the same time, I wondered if something was wrong with me psychologically. Did my previous traumatic breakups and dramatic relationships break me? I scheduled an appointment to see a sex therapist. About a day before that appointment, I stumbled across ybop.com and realized what my issue was: I was a porn addict with a bad case of PIED. I have been meeting with the sex therapist for about two months,
I have given up porn (still masturbate to fantasy), and I have been completely open with my girlfriend about the whole process, and I’m 99.9% sure I am cured, in a little less than two months away from porn. I have noticed a number of changes after abstaining from porn, with relative timelines for when these developments took place:
1) More confident/outspoken/charismatic – I noticed a lack of fear of judgment almost instantly, probably on the third day. My work became more interesting (aerospace mechanical systems engineer). I became much less fearful of peoples’ opinions or disapproval. This increase in social confidence has granted me better interactions with strangers, and a greater feeling of acceptance in the workplace and around friends/family.
2) Clearer skin – I noticed within a week that my slight acne on my face began to clear and my skin achieved a healthier glow. I used to struggle with acne on my back as well, but that has improved significantly.
3) Attention from women – The women I to commonly see in the gym and random girls elsewhere seem to notice me much more, even when walking hand-in-hand with my girlfriend. This started from literally about day 3, and has continued to escalate.
4) Less stressed/depressed – Although I have had my good days and bad days, my mood has been on a steady upward climb, on average, since about day 3. Before I knew the reason for my ED, I was constantly stressed and depressed, because I felt broken, and didn’t know what was wrong with me (or how to fix it). Having a clear path forward and hearing others’ stories gave me confidence and inspiration, and overcoming my previous porn addiction a day at a time is reassurance.
5) Larger “resting” genital size – I’ve always been a grower. It’s something I was never a fan of, especially because before, my penis kind of resembled an overgrown cocktail shrimp when not aroused (6.5″+ when erect). With giving up porn, I have noticed my penis kind of “relax” now, and is about 50% longer and 50% girthier when not erect.
6) Arguably, most important, SUCCESSFUL SEX! – Even though I had lost a great amount of confidence in myself during this whole process, I never gave up, and miraculously, neither did my girlfriend. On the morning of our “six-monthiversary,” we had very passionate, spontaneous, and SUCCESSFUL sex. I didn’t require oral or manual stimulation, and there was a feeling of relaxation and genuine excitement I had NEVER felt before during sexual intercourse. I did “finish” a little quickly, but she was happy, and I was happy!
But, I still wondered if that morning was maybe a fluke. Well, exactly a week later, she woke up in the mood again, and I rose to the occasion! Effortlessly! Lasted longer, felt relaxed and excited, confident, and it was amazing for both of us.
I wanted to tell everybody browsing these forums that a cure IS within reach. I had every odd stacked against me. I was a daily porn user, had ED from my very first sexual experience at 16, broken confidence, I started PMOing at 12-13, and I was CURED. If I can do it, YOU CAN TOO!
BY – GESwho89