I have always wondered how the people in my courses solve the problem sets …… now I’m sitting here on my desk and i fucking understand the stuff written in the scripts and also the problem sets, we have to solve for next week!
It’s crazy how foggy the mind gets from porn and visual stimulation + the extra energy you lose when you fap all day long!
the power of nofap is unbelievable …
Porn reduces not the intelligence, it reduces the performance – physical and psychological. so you intelligence stays invisible to the outside world, you know you had it in the past, but it’s like its hidden inside you, locked up …
i think it was around the 15th day or maybe earlier [that I noticed], i got a study urge and started to repeat my study stuff. (i had before a 21 streak nofap and then relapsed), no porn for 80days today. Strengths, motivated, self confidence, i feel happy, i just try new things out, before thinking about it, i understand my study stuff, I’m more focused(for example right now I’m doing my study stuff instead of just watching a movie or just browse the web, having a break now lol), i am more socialize, in yoga i can devote myself more to the asanas, i feel connected to everybody, i flirt with girls and they flirt back (it’s like i can read them now, it’s fun …), meeting to discuss the study problem sets feels so great, my parents noticed my eyes glow/spark(i looks like the eyes in the movie The Host). music is so beautiful, my piano improvisations are improved (there are more emotional!) i lost my download addiction (i downloaded and saved everything on my HDDs), i said goodbye to some audio forums, i visited too often (some kind of addiction too i think …)
i have the feeling people enjoy to spend time with me! people/students come to me and ask what i think about that and how I’m doing, it’s like I’m visible in this world, i am somebody and not only a span walking on this earth …
haha there is a lot going still, it’s like journey to yourself – enjoy it!
[EARLIER POST] a few days ago i talked with parents about staying fapstinent, because i told them i have pains in my balls and was not sure if i should go and visit the doc, because i wasn’t go away for a few weeks (3-4 weeks), so my mum did some research on forced fapstinence and how it can damage the psych.
my dad suggested i should release the semen, when the pain isn’t going away for a few days (because the body sometimes won’t get rid of it.)
so right now i consider normal mode instead of hard/monk mode, because i can’t stand the pain feeling, sometimes i couldn’t concentrate in my courses, because of the pain.
to make it short, i fap a maximum in a week now and try to go as long as i can without until the pain comes back …
ohhh its important to visualize touches, have somebody close together with you and do not fap on visual material or anything close to porn, because this will damage the feeling you have, when you interact with a woman … that’s what i have tried …
LINK – I have always wondered how the people in my courses solve the problem sets …
Seems like i am achieving mindcontrol over my erections?
this morning i woke up with an erection, normal hehh? well i was a bit turned on and remembered some nudes from a female celeb. anyway, you know this game … it starts, but i decided not to give in, to keep the Sensuality for my own and also have respect in front of me and the females i wanted to ejaculate on, so i tried it a few times, everytime i thought about respect and my sensuality, boom erection gone. i always felt a warm wave through my body, which felt really good … (it was a week minute i know, but no O and only short activity with my jade stab!)
its now 3 months i practice the Taoists of Love too almost everyday, special breath techniques and to learn how to keep my sensuality for me until i meet the other half, my gf.
i am close to six months now without porn and 154 days nofap.
i feel a lot more confident, clear mind, strong and i am looking forward to my future.
its easier to study, no more emotions interfere with what i want to observe and learn. rational.
LINK – huh this really works?
UPDATE 192 days
It’s not porn i have to blame, but myself, how ignorant i was about everything (relationships, problem sets, lecture, my mind, daily practice in everything)
i am at my 192th day(pretty close to 500 days free of porn 😉 ) of zen meditation or lets call it ZEN, i practice ZEN everyday its part of the day, its part of every activity. it showed me some massive enlightenment in me and it was always there.
i just couldnt or didnt want it to see … but now i see it.
you are responsible for this life, nothing else or nobody else is responsible for it, you have the right to decide and you are the only one able to claim it. when you simply dont want to decide, you will end up yourself in that dense lost empty world, it will destroy you.
think about how many responsibility you want to take today? (with responsibility i mean self-responsibility, nothing else)
signed, A Student of the mind
[Questions] How old are you? How long did you use porn? Why did you decide to quit? Any benefits from your clearer mind?
[reply] Age 27, 7-8 years, studies, Loneliness + mental fog, i can rethink complex formula on the fly, much better understanding for concepts, more general improved understanding, better relationship with people around, etc
LINK – i know this enlightenment comes late …