I believe I’m one of the bad cases. I’m 27. I started prone masturbating insanely early, probably around 6 or 7. My body wasn’t producing semen yet but I was orgasming while soft.
Started whacking to porn as soon as I could (11? 12?) and using Limewire to download videos soon after. Obviously, I started the tube sites as they emerged. Besides the guilt I felt because sex was taboo (grew up in a religious home), I didn’t think anything was *wrong* with me. I figured I was a horny kid and teenager, and since everyone else seemed to watch porn, how bad could it be?
My high school and college romances were similar to many of yours. My first real shot at sex was a failure in high school, as were the first couple in college. Finally, I got a girlfriend as a sophomore in college. Luckily, she really liked me and put up with the first few failures until I finally sort of succeeded. The sex with her gradually got better, but never great over the course of our several year relationship. I continued PMOing throughout the relationship.
After we broke up in early 2012, I abstained from orgasm, at first out of post-breakup depression. I for some reason never gained the desire to watch porn during this brief period, and during this inadvertent “streak”, I experienced what many describe as the “super powers” gained from abstinence or healing PIED. I was in what can only be called a blissful flow state for several months.
Eventually in August of that year, the bliss came to an abrupt end as I spiraled into the deepest hole of my life which I am just now climbing out of. Was this the end of the initial “superpower” spike from abstinence and the start of porn’s version of post-acute-withdrawal-syndrome? If Gary’s science is right, I’d say it’s possible considering the depth and duration of my case.
When I started feeling INSANE social anxiety and depression, I panicked and started trying to watch porn again. I say “trying” because I couldn’t even get it up to porn at this point (still can’t). Honestly, this period of my life is blurry because I wasn’t monitoring any of this. I hadn’t discovered YBOP yet.
Finally came across Gary’s site in June of 2013 and have not PMO’d since. I masturbated off and on at the start of the reboot, often pathetically and 20% soft. Finally, I decided to go hard-mode outside of sex with my long distance girlfriend.
Between June ’13 and June ’14, I saw my girlfriend every 1.5 months or so. We would have a lot of sex, some successful some unsuccessful, and without fail I would notice physical symptoms following orgasm. Nausea, headaches, fatigue, brain fog, depression, anxiety, and complete social incompetence. These are the symptoms I’ve been experiencing off and on for almost 3 years, but I noticed an even bigger fluctuation after orgasm. Any time I started doubting the reboot process and PIED science, an orgasm would wake me up to the reality that something was not right. That’s really the only way I can explain what my brain has been throughout this. Not right. The only thing that kept me alive was the recognition of my sllllloowwwwwlyyy improving symptoms. I was miserable, but i was 1% less miserable than a month ago. And that was enough.
I mentioned the up and down nature of my symptoms, and I think that this roller coaster effect is the most overlooked important part of this entire process/discussion. The way our mental symptoms come and go during reboot is EXACTLY how post acute withdrawal is described from hard drugs. They say the dark periods get lighter and less frequent, and the good periods get better and more frequent as you move forward through withdrawal, which is exactly what’s happened with me.
Guys, I can’t even tell you how low I felt at one point. I was brain dead, socially incompetent even around friends and family, depressed, unmotivated, etc. Now, the symptoms are infrequent and less intense.
My girlfriend and I live in the same city now, so sex is relatively abundant. We’re busy and stressed so it’s usually a weekend thing, but it’s almost always enjoyable and successful. The only physical symptom I sometimes experience is PE.
More importantly for my daily life, my mental symptoms have greatly improved. I’m not fully back yet, but I’m closer than ever.
As far as advice goes…..MEDITATION is a very big one for me. It’s weight lifting for the mind, and the mind can either be our biggest ally or worst enemy in this fight. Just sit still for 10 minutes a day and focus on your breath. I started this practice as my new year’s resolution, and this is when my improvements began to accelerate.
An additional note on meditating and exploring the mind: I read something interesting yesterday. “Trying to calm your mind WITH your mind is like trying to bite your own teeth.” Thus, we focus on calming the body, and the mind naturally follows suit. Just sit there for a minute and focus on releasing the tension in your shoulders. Do the opposite of shrugging them to your ears. Give in fully to gravity and allow the stress to fall off your body. This simple practice has helped me profoundly.
Anyways, thanks to everyone on this site who has added value. The best stuff on this site involves trying to get to the bottom of this fucking thing. I’ve never clicked on a “NOFAP (insert month here)!!’ thread in my life but I’ve spent hours reading thoughtful posts about the flatline, D2 receptors and scientific studies. This needs to keep happening because many more guys are eventually going to drop by. This should be a research hub, not a social media site for guys who can’t quit for more than 10 days.
Keep on keepin on. “Whatever has the nature to arise…shall also pass away.”
LINK – Success almost two years in. PIED is undoubtedly a thing.
BY – Altruism247
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