A few days ago (after 50 days of current streak) I went to a party. I was feeling good, relaxed and confident and had good time.
Had only 1 drink during the whole evening. I talked with many girls and felt like they generally responded positively to me. Eventually I ended up sitting for a quite long time with one girl and we increasingly touched each other (especially I touched her) and finally kissed. Soon after she wanted to go to my place so we went.
There we fooled around on my bed a lot but didn’t have intercourse (because of her periods, otherwise she would have wanted to). However, we agreed to meet soon to actually have sex. I already had an erection (in the past I had ED) part of the time even though we still had our panties on.
I felt comfortable, relaxed, confident and masculine, even though the language in which we communicated isn’t my native language. While in the bed with her, I could even hear my own voice being so manly and peaceful that no wonder she found me attractive ;D (don’t get me wrong, I mainly focused on her).
I feel like for a long time sex and relationships (or lack of them) has been the most limiting “bottleneck” of my life, well-being and happiness. And that eliminating porn and masturbation is the single most important tool for solving this problem.
Still not much has actually happened recently with girls, but finally it starts to feel like “preparation meets opportunity” and like my relationships and sex life are starting and gaining momentum. I believe and hope that the long (miserable) period – basically my whole life until now (27 years) – without healthy sex or romantic relationships is coming to an end.
Earlier, suffering from ED, depressed and alone, I felt like I was sentenced to be forever alone. There was no solution that I knew about. All this changed after watching Gary Wilson’s Ted-talk about one and half years ago. Finally there was hope. Finally I understood what the root of my problem was and had a tool (no PMO) to solve it. And finally now it feels like instead of having only hope, my life has started to become better.