I feel whole. I feel like a man should feel. I’ve conquered so much of what I thought was impossible. I have been suffering from undiagnosed social anxiety since about highschool. I felt nervous around people.
I feel like it really started around the time I started fapping more frequently. Especially when I had to talk in front of groups or do presentations. I made it through high school like this. I think alcohol helped me be a more open person around friends and girls at parties. But when I wasn’t drunk, my nervous energy was blanketed by the euphoria of fapping to internet porn.
I’m a 27 year old who started fapping at age 12. The habit stuck with me and turned into a daily practice in my 20’s. I’ve had girlfriends, had plenty of sex (with some ED issues here and there). I never felt right as a person.
I made it through college and ended up getting a pretty good job. It involved plenty of interactions that inflamed my social anxiety. A situation happened about 100 days ago that finally lead me to figuring out how to fix this. I was in a meeting with a bunch of people we were about to partner with. We all had to go around the room and say what we did. My heart was racing, I was nervous for no reason. My voice trembled and my mind was fogged as I answered the easiest question a person could answer. I lived my entire teenage and twenties responding to situations like this, and it was time do do something about it.
I did some research and came across yourbrainonporn and this nofap. There were a lot of super power stories of decreased social anxiety, so I decided to give it a go. I had one slip up the first week, got back on the horse, and here I am today.
I feel SO much better. Its hard to know where to start. I remember after the first week feeling like I could say anything to anyone in my department. I remember wondering why I had been so scared of that before. It just didn’t make sense to be that way anymore.
After about 30 days i flat-lined and felt some symptoms of anxiety returning. But stuck with it despite wanting to fap to cure my bad feelings.
Started feeling good again on day 50 and its really hard to describe the feeling. I felt like I was more solid and stable than ever. I had confidence to pursue new goals. During this time I had decided to pursue a new job. In the past, this was a scary idea because I couldn’t keep my calm composure through interviews. I went to 2 interviews, aced both of them with pure confidence (They were actually fun!) and got 2 amazing job offers! Took one and now I’m kicking ass at my new job.
I’ve been going out and hot girls just walk up to me and start talking. Went home with my buddies and 2 beautiful chicks the other night who we met a bar. My game was natural and flowed out flawlessly. I used to stutter and get nervous and freeze when talking to new girls. Couldn’t believe that was me!
I’m a bit past 90 now (started my counter late) and I sometimes think about porn, but the pros of noFap out weigh the cons by far. Don’t plan on watching porn again.
I’d like to get over fantasizing at some point. I catch myself doing this sometimes and I think it may be why I still find myself with small levels of social anxiety still. Despite this boost in confidence, I still find myself sometimes getting nervous in big presentations. I had to speak in front of 600 people at my new job and felt heart racing and my palms get sweaty, but I think most people would feel that way.
One thought process has helped with social anxiety/public speaking is being able to realize that if I do get that chemical reaction that causes nervousness, tell myself that its just that – a chemical reaction, which causes me to not really feel like the true me. I chose bad habits that helped wire my brain to react that way. The brain can heal and I’m doing so much better than I was. And each day its going to get better.
TL;DR: Fapping caused social anxiety at an early age. Decided to do something about it after becoming a professional. Kicking ass and will continue to do so.
LINK – 90 Days – I’m feeling confident and whole again
UPDATE – 150 days – I’m Finally Losing a Lifelong Anxiety
I’ve just climbed over the 150 day mark and what I’ve notice happening on the subconscious level is amazing. I’m going to summarize my story and get to a new technique that’s really helping me with my anxieties.
I’ve struggled with nofap since I was a in middle school. I won’t chronicle this again, as I did a longer write up during my 90 day milestone. But it was bad and created a lot of social anxiety problems throughout college.
My anxiety continued after college and into my professional career. I was not confident, but knew enough to get a good job. Interacting with people was tough, but that’s now a thing of the past. I look back and wonder why I was like that and how it was even possible!
One of my biggest issues in my professional life was public speaking. I wound up in positions where I’d often have to lead meetings and present in front of groups. This was the biggest fear of mine. I found myself trying to avoid these situations at all costs. I had several embarrassing moments and finally decided to try to do something about it.
I did not want to take drugs to suppress my anxiety and began Googeling everywhere to find a solution and found several resources including this sub-reddit that opened my eyes to the benefits of nofap – one of many being the reduction of social anxiety.
I gave it a shot and noticed amazing benefits after a week. Great things continued to happen. (See my 90 day)
My social anxiety began lowering like crazy. I had great measurable results. My voice used to shake when presenting and it got to a point where that was almost non-existent.
I still felt a nervous though before big presentations though, despite performing better and better, and I wanted to do what I could to get rid of it once and for all. I wanted to WANT to speak in public.
I starting looking into stuff like hypnosis. I noticed temporary relief using hypnosis audio, but nothing that would last.
I came across whats called NLP (Neuro-linguistic programming). This is a technique that allows you to reprogram your internal thought process. You can use this technique to treat disorders ranging from depression to anxieties like public speaking.
I did my research and downloaded some audio programs and have noticed a huge difference! The technique I use works by taking a situation that creates anxiety (i.e. public speaking), then thinking of a situation where you were confident, proud, or relaxed and transferring that mentality it into the problem situation. I’ve put in over a weeks worth of practice and the changes are pretty incredible!
The other day I was in a meeting with a big group of people. My supervisor who was supposed to lead it was not able to call in. I stood up and decided to run the meeting in front of a group of 20 without even being asked! I could’ve walked away but I actually WANTED to lead it and speak in front of the group. I didn’t even recognize myself. I spoke with confidence and the meeting went great. This was a huge moment for me. My lifelong struggle is going away.
Rounding back to Nofap, if it wasn’t for this site and practice, I don’t think I would’ve had the confidence and clarity that lead me to NLP and so many other resources that have helped get rid of my anxieties. Nofap opened the door.
TL;DR Fapped since middle school through college and negative effects carried into professional career. Nofap fixed anxiety relating to public speaking. NLP fixed it even more.