Brief background; discovered NoFap this time last year and I met my ex and I tried to reboot but I just wanted sex so I popped pills and just nailed her and felt no sensation out of it! We ended at the end of May and I tried rebooting from June onwards but failed several times! Since June to today I had 3 proper attempts/streaks;
- 21 days with lots of edging
- 37 days hardmode
- 90 days with tiny edging on 2/3 occasions
Apart from these I had numerous other attempts but failed 2, 3, 4 days etc. Some may argue its not 90 days hard mode but what they’re doing (IMO) is putting more stress on themselves and causing more anxiety – I will give a good example; I relapsed with O in my 37 day streak in Oct but until Nov 26th I binged hardcore (60days) and was well pissed and thought “i will never recover” and dug a deeper hole.
Problems when I fapped; checking out women, thinking of banging them, dirty thoughts, Facebook, erotic stories etc. So in order to reboot I had to build and use tools they created some form of a “layer” of defence or a firewall. The tools I used:
Forced the 37 day and current streaks; I’d talk in the mirror until I would get through to myself I would tell myself “you have MO since 13 to 27, you’re 28 soon do you not want wife and kids? Do you not want change??!”
Playing numbers game (how many women I won’t approach, look at, think about). Some days I would reach upwards of 130. This helped me significantly with my problem of eyeing up women. (You see it’s all a jigsaw – you eye a woman, you go home you fantasise and MO).
So i knocked off stage 1 if you like.
Stage 2 was the problem of Facebook/erotic stories. Not having wifi I disabled “adult content” via my mobile network service provider and this blocked stories sites. For Facebook I used a blocking app.
What blocking apps do is create a firewall/ defence layer yes it can be disabled BUT it gives you that extra second or two to think “do I really want to do this and lose my progress?”
In my current streak I did go back on Facebook on day 40 but i could mentally hand the pressure.
Other tools; the use of the calendar in my phone – I used to note down how many times I MO and guys looking back at it today its fucking disgusting; in June I would have 3xMO in one day. Miss a day then 2xMO.
This really showed me how much i have wasted myself and how often!
The struggles in the 90 day journey;
- 2 x withdrawal symptoms at day 50-54 and day 70ish
- Thinking i relapsed at day 72 due to WD then edged for 6 hours
- Day 81 thinking it’s been a waste as i get no random erections (see benefits below)
- still no morning wood!
- gained bad memory from day 30+ before i had good memory maybe its because i was slob at Xmas? Lol
- No fucking anxiety!
- Funny, cracking more jokes
- Whiteness of eyes
- Darkening of eyelashes
- More muscle growth
- Got lots of attention from women around day 30 – kind of died down now but i still get checked out lol
- Smiles in pictures has significantly improved took some at days 7, 60ish, and 86
- Face is healthier and cleaner
- Do not think sexually about women
- Get aroused by intellectual stimulating conversations
- Can turn my mind off very quickly from sexual thoughts
- Random erections returned due to eating more in particular carbs!
- Happy, enthusiastic
- Thinking long term and don’t want a quickie but a long term relationship
- Registered on a dating site and met this girl two days ago and we clicked from the start lots of intellectual stimulation and she has been arousing me – but my feelings are developing rapidly. She works long hours but the last day or so I don’t know if she is cooling down on me – but I won’t die if we don’t work but I do like her – haven’t liked someone like this in 8 years
- not being bothered if I don’t receive messages from girls – before I’d be annoyed!
What is rebooting? Rebooting is programming that “off and on” switch and having the ability to keep mind and body (erections) apart
Tools used? Phone calendar, numbers game, apps to block sites, disable adult content, eating less / weight loss so i don’t get energy to be aroused and lead to relapse…..
What I discovered??? I discovered the following energies are linked;
- Sleep (mental + physical)
A deficiency in one of them will cause imbalances in others i.e. nutrition affected my sexual side (erections) however some matters may counter it the girl I have been talking to we have chemistry and its sparked me down there!
I also discovered semen retention is the cause of benefits and not life style change i.e. I worked out less but I seen I was gaining more muscle mass but before when fapping I went gym more often but didn’t gain much
Counting to 90 days….
I quickly realised if i keep looking at 90 day mark it may put me off at the start. So at day 30 I thought 7 more days and I’ll reach my personal best.
When I reached 37 i aimed for 40. Then i played a new numbers game;
42 was close by and that would put me at 6 weeks…
hitting 42 i thought 45 is a few short days away and is 50% of 90…
45 + 4 = 7 weeks… get the gist? In this numbers you can play the percentage of 90 days and the week’s game – two different levels that can help you collaboratively This boosted my mental confidence.
Sorry for the ranting post but a full picture was needed!
Thank you to all for your support during my hard times!
PS i got bad knee pain perhaps i lost too much weight haha!
2016 goals – 90 day NoFap and get to 70kg (was 58kg now at 54)
one goal down one to go
Thank you God for answering my prayers and helping me go 90 days without this DISEASE!
Any questions please ask!
LINK – 90 days done!