Today marks an official success story of my reboot and rewiring process: For the first time in my life, I am able to achieve/ maintain an erection and orgasm to vaginal sex WITH a condom on. This has been one, if not THE ONE, reason why I’m trying to quit pornography. Eight years ago I suffered from what many of us have experienced: severe PIDE and PIED.
I was NOT wired to real, warm blooded women. My first attempt at sex was a complete failure. And, instead of seeking help, I retreated into a world of MORE porn for years. It was until I met my latest girlfriend that I realized that my DE and ED was still a problem. I really had to rewire to a real woman and quit porn.
Over a course of a year 2016, I rebooted and rewired with my gf. It wasn’t easy! I flatlined for months. I relapsed plenty. I slowly built a sexual response – kissing, touching, handjobs, blowjobs, penetrative sex. Then today happened:
Details (warning: triggers): this morning was a fun process. Of course, I still “failed” to penetrate my gf in some positions. I still “failed” to penetrate her with a condom at first. Over a course of a few hours, my erections were going hard /soft/ hard depending on the stimulation. What we did was play and laugh and experimented – I got hard and had sex in positions that we felt comfortable in. Having sex without a condom was much easier; I was able to enjoy various positions and felt confident that I could come. I wanted to come inside a condom. So we tried positions that worked. After several “failed” attempts using condoms, we finally got into a great situation. I felt hard and ready, and was able to penetrate. Soon enough, I orgasm and came a lot! She came too, but in different positions and to different strokes. When positions or my erections quality weren’t working: we took breaks! And, I think, that was the key to calming my performance anxiety, especially when I started using a condom. Remember: Porn habits and Performance Anxiety go hand-in-hand. I think that’s why a lot of guys who reboot for a long time still have DE or ED problems. Yes, our brains have changed against porn. BUT our fears about failing sex still remain. Nothing kills a boner quicker than fear and being “serious” about sex.
Sex and rewiring is about discovery. HAVE FUN! TAKE BREAKS! TRY DIFFERENT POSITIONS! LAUGH! KISS! HUG! Of course, you have to find a partner who’s willing to participate with you. However, I believe she or he is not-so-difficult to find so as long as you are honest about yourself. A partner who is not supportive isn’t a partner worth keeping around in your life!
I look forward to having more sex with my gf. More importantly, I am so grateful to know that I can have kids. That I can start a family one day. That I can enjoy something that is SUPPOSED to be enjoyable.
HUGE THANKS to my girlfriend, to Gary Wilson, Gabe Deem, Noah Church, Mark Queppet, Alex Rhodes, YBR radio (Charlee, Gameover, ApeMan,), Anthony Decide, Ajax, Hayden Rose, No Fap Movement, and everyone on this forum. Yearofchange and LilJ thanks for responding to my posts.
My journey of NOFap isn’t over – I don’t think it’ll ever be until the day I die. BUT having successful sex with someone I love was a goal that I wanted to strive for. And, now, it’s a goal that I have achieved.
BY – Deezy