It started at the age of 11 with naked pictures went on with some soft-core videos and some hardcore videos until the age of 18 when I had my fast internet connection and then all this thing blow up. Today I am 28 and I am still trying to figure out what can I do with this thing. But hey, let me tell you something, addiction is not a thing that is easy to get rid of.
It needs time, while you re through a lot of pain and certainly when relapses happen you feel like shit. But yeah i am here to share my point of view in this story and I would be glad if I help with the stuff I write.
To me addiction is my dark side. We all have a dark side. By saying “all” I mean every single person on this planet have a dark side. Everything that calms you down and operates as a reward can be addictive. From pornography to shopping or your mobile phone or cases of workaholism whatever it is that makes you to feel at ease with yourself. You might not be an addict you might be aggressive, you might be impolite, you might be lazy blah blah blah.
I’ve seen many people here and there trying to fight their negative habits or try to fight their dark side by eliminating this behavior trying their best to change their selves. It is normal. I used to do it too. More specifically and regarding P addiction I’ve seen people trying their best to make the count to 90 days the best I went on was 72 and then I screwed up. All that happens in order to fight our dark side and eliminate it somehow. I think that this will never happen this way.
Recently I was talking to an ex heroin addict, he managed to get rid of this addiction and he was sharing his experience with me. He told me that in order to win the addiction you have to love yourself and loving yourself means loving your dark side too. In the beginning I did not understand. What did he mean?? Really?? Love my addiction??? But how?? I want to get rid of this!!! How can I love this??
Yes guys. That’s the truth. We have to love our dark side too. We are human beings. We are weak. It is part of human nature. So embrace it. Do not fight it because fighting it you create tense with yourself. And relapsing feels like hit by train. And you feel bad about relapsing and you feel depressed and all the vicious circle starts again. BUT loving yourself and your dark side cuts the circle. By not accepting your dark side you create anxiety and depression and fall seems like the end. You have to accept who you are! Love who you are! And explore the true reasons of sitting behind a computer and M to Pixels! By accepting who you are and love who you are, you are real to yourself and to others and that is the first big step of success.
But acceptance is not something easy. Society did not teach us to love our dark side. We always had to be good students, good at college, good partners or parents. This society wants us to suppress our bad feelings and be good customers. That is what we do in the end and we keep feeling worse and worse and relapsing never stops (laughs).
So here are my current observations.
Step 1 – Recognize the problem
Step 2 – Accept it
Step 3 – Explore the true reasons behind addiction
Step 4 – Recognize your values or whatever you want to do in life
Step 5 – Go For it
There is no other way. That is my truth right now. I just wanted to share it with you and I hope I helped in some way!