I’ve been on NoFap journey for over 3 years now. I knew I was an addict and I wasted most of my college years to PMO. After college, I moved to California to start a company, but was lacking initiative and motivation. I discovered YBOP and this sub-reddit in 2014 and decided to give it a shot.
First few tries were a futile attempt lasting anywhere from a day to a week. I then gathered up a courage and managed to go year and a half on soft mode — still watching porn, but only edging. This was still not an ideal NoFap.
While on that streak, I started casually dating someone. After we broke-up, I got back into the habit of PMO-ing again. I still managed to go anywhere 30-40 days without PMO at times but failing eventually. During those streaks, my objective behind NoFap was still bit shallow – use the charisma & magnetism gathered from NoFap to sleep with as many women as I can, and it did happen.
Fast forward September (2017), I began thinking “I’m 28 and I wasted my 20s either in PMO or shallow goals, so I needed to achieve greatness or at-least use my creation to help people.” I had a full-time job and my side project was going well which did take me whole 3 years to get started on. Now I wanted to accelerate the development of my side project and turn it into a company so that I can quit my job. To manage this, I started on pure monk-mode in September to get physical stamina and mental/spiritual will-power to build a team and launch my company.
As usual, I experienced everything that other Fapstronaut have experienced during this phase – intense lustful desire at times, flat-line, crazy attention from women. I knew these were all by-products so I decided not to get attached to them. I also felt like I was on a divine mission and needed to turn my side project into a company at any cost.
On 90th day, I was so confident in myself and my ability to launch the company in Jan, 2018 that I gave my CEO notice that I’ll be moving on. I already had a team, had a basic product built and ready to launch. I was also avoiding alcohol, dating and drugs during this streak because I knew from past experience alcohol or any stimulants would bring up my lustful desires leading to my fall. I also meditated intensely to build will-power.
However, things went downhill on 96th day. At our company’s holiday party, I decided to drink few drinks because it was my last time with the co-workers. I was a mess because I hadn’t touched a single drop of alcohol for past 5 months and then on 97th day, worst hangover kicked in. Per my past experience, whenever I have a hangover, I don’t have motivation to do anything else and feel super lustful. Some unknown mental force took over me and I went on a porn website. I was trying to gather courage not to be there, but alcohol clouded my judgment and ended up PMO-ing twice. I felt like shit because my vow of monk-mode was broken with just few beers. Moreover, I have an investor meeting tomorrow and I don’t have any motivation or creative ideas to prepare for a presentation.
I’m trying to re-start again today because I know I’ve lost the battle but not the war. I’d also like to thank everyone in this sub-reddit for your amazing motivational posts. During these streaks, every time I had lustful thoughts, I read your posts to distract myself away from PMO.
LINK – 97 Days Hard Mode Experience