I’ve been doing NoFap for almost 3 years. It has been very beneficial for me many times but from the very beginning I’ve been caught in a nofap-binge relapse circle. I always ended my streaks between 30th to 50th day followed by similar binge time.
Every streak I was trying to be as much productive as I could and it made me achieve few goals including finding a job, obtaining scholarship at the university or getting more fit. The problem was that I struggled immensely every single time. I often couldn’t sleep at night and I was becoming very nervous and anxious. I think the root of my issue was that I wanted to shut off my sexuality. I’ve had very bad experiences when it comes to intercourses with women because of PIED and my low self esteem. I wanted to get rid of sexuality in my life and find fulfillment in other areas. After two and a half years I had to admit that I was not able to do this. I decided to take a break from nofap and apparently it was the best thing that I could have done for myself at that time.
Since then I started to look for a healthy way to “express” my sexuality. I made a strong decision that I will completely cut off porn and will try to masturbate in moderation. At the beginning it was of course quite neurotic and compulsive as always but gradually I discovered that if you do this just focusing just on physical sensations without fanasizing and without compulsive striving for orgasm then it could be quite healthy thing to do. I didn’t have occasion to test it yet but I have much stronger erections and feel that PIED might be gone after 10 years.
I’ve mentioned before about productivity which gave me nofap. Actually being just on pornfree I’m even more productive. First of all I’m not wasting time for porn, second thing I reduced tremendously time spent on the internet. It actually became quite boring to sit in from of the screen for many hours so I’m more eager to find better things to do. And the most important thing is that i feel that my growth, self-improvement became sustainable. On NoFap there was two months of hard work and after the streak I was so exhausted that I’ve been “resting” by binge relapsing and feeling that all my progress is gone. Now the further I am into the journey the more I’m feeling that I don’t need porn anymore. I feel more eager to live life. I’m not constantly vexed and nervous.
This is my experience after two months. I probably haven’t “rebooted” yet but I feel that I’m closer to it every single day.
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