What started as another incoming failure (tried a LOT of things before finding nofap here) has finally helped me in a way couldn’t imagine. I still have issues but I know I can manage them with time. Sorry for my English (French / Tunisian guy here).
Also thanks a million to my support, I’m sorry I haven’t been very available for the last few weeks but I think I also needed some time off r/nofap just to stop thinking about it completely!
[REPLIES TO QUESTIONS]
I was 11 years old when I started. It all began after I was sexually abused by my male cousin when I was 10 and 11. When I quit I was using porn everyday at least three times a day. Started to have issues to get it off without thinking about porn or watching a quick video before having sex with my wife. I was 29 years old when I quit, after a week of binge PMOing alone at home. Seeing how fucked up I was when I started (PMO + Webcam exhibition even in front of trans, spending more money than I had on massages with happy endings…) I think everyone can do it.
I didn’t notice any change in my voice, I feel it is “steadier” and more calm though. My focus sure increased A LOT at work. I also feel more drive at the gym.
I did and still get some depressing feelings because I can feel sadness while I was numbing it down before. I feel lonely sometimes too and resentful toward my wife (even though it’s just common couple stuff. I just NEVER dealt with it before). I can say that now I can feel my feels, if that makes any sense.
Each time when I get an urge I try to push back the masturbation part and at some point I just get sad for the people in the porn industry, some are enjoying of course, but some are living through hell. And it’s a downer for me lol
I now feel more confident (although I was never shy and always could find a way to talk to girls). I’m more confident because I know I won’t masturbate to the girl I just talked to.
I rarely think about masturbation anymore, if I see an attractive women my first thought is always ‘what is she like’ and not ‘I would bang her’.
I got an android app called ‘since’, which counts my days. Since week 2 I don’t even need to look at it anymore, I mostly forget about this whole PMO business. It’s just not part of my life anymore and I am glad of it. Of course urges will come in the future, but I know how to react when they arise. Trust me, it will get easier. The longer your streak is the easier it gets. Don’t believe me? Do it yourself and I know you can! Just never give up, never. even. once. This is my first streak and I will not break it.
Also remember that PMO is not the only problem in your life. I am more aware of other problems in my life and am actively improving myself in a lot of aspects like sleeping patterns/sports/music&relaxation/talking to girls/time scheduling/etc.
Listen to music. This helped me a lot and motivated me tremendously. And don’t visit nofap too much during the first few days, I had a lot of time on my hands and was constantly browsing youtube/reddit about PMO stuff.
I came here all day long reading everyone’s story, instead of watching porn. I read the facts about the industry to educate myself. Mostly I replaced the content of what I was watching when in the toilets. Also watched and saved many motivational videos. Helps a lot to have a stash of this kind.
I was already doing all the “good things” (eating healthy, working out, working, playing an instrument etc) while PMOing. So really for me it’s just the nofap thing that helped me. And you guys of course!