I’m in Sydney Australia at the moment, sharing a flat with this 57 year old dude. He’s fat, depressed, never goes out, doesn’t have any friends, and the only sex he gets is with asian hookers at massage shops.
The other day I went out, I told him I was going to the beach, but I had to go do some shopping first and came back to the flat to leave some stuff. As I was walking to my room through the corridor, he had his door open,(since he wasn’t expecting me to be home so soon) and I caught a glimpse of porn on his computer screen. He quickly closed his door, but It was too late. I pretended like I didn’t see anything.
A few minutes later he came to my door, trying to do small talk with me. I knew he felt so ashamed and was just trying to see If I had seen anything or not. He was like a fucking kid who got caught red handed, I could sense it in his tone, and this guy is 57 years old. This is what porn does to us. Hiding in secret like scared little boys, terrified of getting caught….
This guy reminded me of how pathetic I used to be. I know that everytime I go out, the first thing he will do is go watch some porn. I know because I used to be like that. It’s so sad when you think about it.
I’m 14months clean from porn now, and let me tell you, I never want to go back to this pathetic lifestyle. This guy reminds me everyday of what I can’t afford to become.
Stop watching this filth and you’ll feel a hundred times better about yourself. To me,feeling no shame and having no secrets is really one of the most important benefits of Nofap
By the way I’m not bashing this guy. He’s your typical porn addict, It’s not really his fault, I’m just using him in this post to point out what type of person porn makes us become
[More] English is not my first language, I’m french. This guy is just a reflection of my older self, and the person I can become again if I’m not careful. I use harsh language to describe him (again… It’s really me I’m describing), because being harsh on myself is what saved me. This guy is just a metaphor for my older porn addict self, as my life was similar to his when I was using the most.
When I realized that porn was playing a big role in my suffering, then it was a pretty easy decision to cut it out of my life for good. Also, I’m pursuing my dream right now, and investing a lot of time and energy in it every single day, that’s definitely the most important thing that’s keeping me away from porn. Replacing your porn habit with a new positive healthy habit is the only way you’ll recover. Willpower doesn’t last, habits keep you going.
I’m almost 30, I left my home, I left everything to travel alone for as long as it takes to find out who I am, what’s important to me and re-gain my ability to love myself and love others. I do have it together now, you have no idea the amount of action I’ve taken and change I’ve accomplished in the last two years.
LINK – Caught my flatmate jerking off to porn…
by Gymratmouse
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