I’m 29 and have looked at porn since the age of 14, generally fapping most days, fairly frequently multiple times in one day. Although I often MO’ed without porn, I started thinking of myself as a porn addict years ago since I was unable to stop looking at it.
I had done periods of nofap/noporn by myself years ago but because I was able to get girlfriends I rationalised that it wasn’t hurting me that much so continued to do it. The main effects were low libido with girlfriends and occasional ED problems in the bedroom.
I split up with my last gf amicably about 6-7 weeks ago and have been doing nofap (hardmode) for 4 weeks. I flatlined at first (I think I started on a flatline actually, exhaused from all the PMO) but also started to feel clearer, more confident around women, and overall just a bit better. I started working on my second language skills again, started reading books again, it’s been easier to find the time / motivation to do things.
The last 2 weeks I was incredibly horny though and it started to be a bit unbearable physically. I’m not talking about the urge to look at porn specifically, more just pent up sexual energy. I had a date with a girl last night and just thinking about fooling around with her beforehand was making me so unbearably horny I was worried it would really mess things up. So I masturbated the day before just by physically touching myself as it mentions on yourbrainonporn.com – no fantasy at all, no thinking about girls, no porn obviously. It gave my a big physical release from the tension/horniness but without any of the empty/spent feeling you normally get with PMO.
Overall the past 4 weeks I have felt a sense of normality and health return to my libido. Erections come much more easily and are much fuller, stronger and stay around longer, my genitals feel looser and fuller in general. On my date I got an erection kissing the girl, something that normally requires much more stimulation and is often filled with anxiety about not being able to get it up at all. I feel stronger and healthier sexually than I have done in as long as I can remember, more than a decade I think.
Urges to look at porn have been there but the physical pent up sexual tension was much greater than the porn urge specifically. Obviously it’s still early days but I personally feel it might be possible for me to abstain from porn with using the occasional MO to keep my sexual energy from getting out of control, I’m not sure permanently abstaining from PMO unless I have a girlfriend would really be possible at all, the tension is just too much.
I’m gonna remove my badge since this is nofap and not noporn. I know my post doesn’t fit with the strictest nofap ideas but try and remember that everyone is different – I think applying the exact same solution to the hugely varied lives and problems of people here may be a tad unhelpful. For me I feel it’s clear the real damaging thing in my life has been the pornography and the ever increasing difficulty of finding something arousing it causes. It’s stopped me from having sex with girls I find really attractive and led to problems most twenty-somethings should not have experienced.
Considering how long I’ve been using porn I was sure I’d damaged myself forever – however I was really surprised at how quickly I saw benefits and felt some improvements. I think hardmode was definitely the right choice for me to begin with but it’s perhaps not something I could do for long extended periods. I in no way feel out of the woods but I think I’ve learned a tremendous amount from this exercise. Good luck with your struggles and thanks for listening.
LINK – Four weeks of Nofap has really improved my sexual health
UPDATE – It really, really works, having the best sex of my life
So I’m almost 3 weeks into a streak with no porn use or masturbation. To begin with I had a flatline for a couple of weeks, and it caused some problems with a girl I’ve been seeing sometimes at weekends. This week the flatline ended though and although it’s been hard and I’ve been very horny it’s been manageable. This weekend I had some of the best sex I’ve ever had in my life, I haven’t fucked like that since I was 19. She even turned around at one point and said “wow you’re really hard today”. The different it made was huge – the main thing being I could relax and feel easily aroused without having to worry about staying hyper aroused to stay hard, which made lasting longer much easier. It felt like I had a new cock.
Just as some background info for you all: I’m a 30 year old man and I’ve been using porn frequently since I was 14. Had girlfriends and relationships in that time but I never stopped looking at porn when I was with them. I think it has caused a lot of problems with my sexual performance in that time, from being unable to last long (occasionally) to struggling to get it up or going soft during sex once in a while. This is always with girls I find really attractive. Nothing terrible like full on ED but definitely a few problems I’d rather have done without and were puzzling to me.
I’ve been trying and failing to give up porn since I was probably 22. I realised I had a problem when I was sometimes struggling to have sex with my hot girlfriend at the time but was fine looking at porn, often being super aroused by girls I thought weren’t as pretty. I remember the most fucked up thing which was looking forward not to sleeping with her but to going back to my room afterwards to jerk off to porn. I knew then I had a real problem. It’s been trying for years on and off to stop but discovering nofap recently has helped a lot. I’ve been dating a lot recently and my sexual confidence is very high, partly helped by nofap streaks. I did 30 days before but was derailed by the chaser effect after sleeping with a girl. This time I really feel like I know 100% that porn has been responsible for the problems I’ve had in the past, and I’m really fucking done with it.
Also last week a cute girl who was also taking her motorcycle license test at the same time came up to me afterwards and just gave me her number right out of the blue. I thought she just wanted to ride together but actually she text me asking if I wanted to go for a drink. I feel more confident and healthy sexually and think others notice it too.
I don’t know what advice to give apart from try and make it through the first few days, break that nasty habit and get into a flatline and get a streak going. Take it one day at the time, slowly a few days will turn into and week, and then into two weeks etc. Keep cool and just focus on the day to day, you’re not trying to get better all at once. After a while you’ll get what feels like a much more natural masculine sense of sexuality take over you. If I wasn’t seeing any girls at the moment I would occasionally masturbate without porn or any fantasy I think. When I was on my 30 day streak before I was able to get very hard and jerk off without thinking of any girls, just the sensation. I didn’t feel like it ended the benefits from the streak at all and it gave me a release from the maddening horniness. Personally I think going 30+ days hardmode would be impossible for me, and I feel very much that it’s the constant frequent daily use of pornography, not occasional masturbation without is the really damaging thing for me, others may differ.
Right now for the first time I’m feeling confident about the chance of living porn free after many years of trying. Don’t fucking give up, get that streak going and if you break it and relapse – don’t be disheartened and get it going again. There is light at the end of the tunnel. Peace out and good luck.
I’ve been experimenting on and off for maybe 9 months. One 30 day streak plus a bunch of 1-2 weeks ones. Even getting a streak going then relapsing provides some enefit, until you really relapse for a for few weeks and go back deep into that porn hole, then you lose any benefits at all that you had.
There was no reason for doing it in particular other than I knew it was sabotaging my sexual performance, and also I was single again after a couple of years and felt like I wanted to meet people without my brain full of all that porn.