I’m 29, Married, 1 kid, IT pro. I started with masturbation when I was around 13, started watching porn when was about 16 and been playing video games since about 13 too.
I slipped into these without no idea they are anything bad, on the contrary I thought they are the best. Lost my virginity when I was 16 and got married to my lovely wife after 2 years when was 21.
Now to mention I was addicted to video games, masturbation and later porn too. Women were generally ok with me, but because I got married so early I can’t really say. My wife definitely suffered and our relationship almost ended few times because of my impatience which was rooted in these vile habits. We had almost no sex whatsoever and I didn’t know why. Later on I found she was affected by the fact that she felt this strange aggression from me and I realised that its coming from games and porn as every time I stopped our relationship got better and when I got back to it, the relationship got rapidly worse.
Bless the woman to stay with me so long! Recently, after almost divorcing we had a chat about it and it all became clear. My first step was to give up video games, seriously guys, this habbit will take you to all the rest of it, it just promotes and beautifies mainstream porn culture.
After clearing my head off gaming I decided to start the noFAP challenge but I never thought going all the way to 90 days. If you told me I’ll be going to the moon I’d more believe that. Basically idea of 90 days of no PMO was IMPOSSIBLE for me. TOTALLY IMPOSSIBLE. However I thought I can just cut the habit a bit as was masturbating every day. Porn wasn’t as bad, but for porn to invade you and your life, once a month or three is enough.
My first streak was 12 days and it was kind of ok. I wanted 18 days, so 12 off the bat wasn’t bad. Second time around I set myself a goal of 21 days and damn it was hard! I had urges after 3 days and occasionally I was paralysed just lying down sweating, no joke! At this stage I started to like the challenge, in the past I only heard about it- people sweating in urges haha. Well I went through that.
When the urges were coming in barrages one after another I’d take cold showers and helping myself with edging. Once I got a hang of it I was able to “edge” myself out of the desire while controlling my ejaculation. This went all the way up to 18 days. To make it easy for my brain, I promised myself that I’ll let myself loose after 21 days- anything would go… masturbation, porn… to the heart’s content. However after reaching 21 days I realised the desire to do so was basically gone… That was my first major victory.
So I said to myself I’ll take it all the way to 30 days and made same promise to myself to let myself loose after that. But the days started counting one after another and when I reached 30 days it felt like no effort. At that point I won as it wasn’t a struggle anymore.
Please note that all this time, my wife already moved out and I was on my own so no sex at all. At this breaking point I decided with conviction that I’ll do the full sexual reboot of 90 days. And I gained my superpowers as they call it… Basically, by overcoming such seemingly impossible feat, few things happen…
- It shifts that fog off your perception
- Your self-esteem sky rockets
- Your self-control becomes piece of cake
- You attract women I mean seriously, no matter where I go, on a regular basis I suddenly find myself surrounded by women, and I’m not even looking for any. It can be at work (mostly), a supermarket, in the public transport, on the street, literally anywhere.
You know the best thing is that after getting porn off yourself, you’ll perceive women as beautiful human beings rather than a commodity to be “fu*ked” ( I know, awful) You don’t check women’s torso, butt and legs first, but just look at her face, check that cute smile she has, the way she moves… And they like it! No, they LOVE IT, and they will love you for it. They just feel it, sense it. On a regular basis I have a lunch with 3 girls at work. One of them even picks me up. And all the women in the company are racing to make me a coffee. This is not bragging, just trying to describe what is happening. In the past I’d be just another bloke like another stick in the fence.
All this of course is totally irrelevant to me because most of all I’m trying to win back the heart of my wife. And thank God it is going well. There is still way to go, but I think we are on a right track. I’ve confessed myself to her few weeks ago, apologised and told her all about it. I told her that I’d understand if she wanted to leave, shout or even hit me. All of it would be fine with me. But instead, she just embraced me… We agreed that we want to start over with our sexual relationship. On our terms, not plagued by porn, society standards or anything else. Just us.
I think I should mention that I changed my lifestyle a lot during this process. Spending approx. 6 hrs a day gaming has to be replaced by something. So I started working out, practice martial arts, watching my diet, reading motivational books and watching motivational videos (the panic button is amazing!)
One big problem was about porn and its glamour, man I used to love it, I thought what they are doing in porn is the best of the best… but it’s not. It’s fake, ugly, painful and exploiting. I recommend watching “Date my pornstar”. This video made porn disgusting for me and help me to cut that desire off completely. It shows there what porn is really like and how people on both sides of the screen suffer. Watch it if you please.
And don’t worry guys, just keep going, if you relapse, try again, see what works for you, it may take time, but the trick is to never give up. It will eventually subside and becomes easier. I had trouble the last ten days, when I came back to edging a bit, but that’s cool as long as you don’t PMO its ok. You fulfill the goal and that matters.
Hope this helps, I’m not a writer so please excuse my way of writing Hang in there brothers, if I could have done it, ALL OF YOU CAN TOO!!! God Bless!
LINK – 90 days noFAP challenge FINISHED! Results…
by PaperRogue
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