I found out about nofap on Thursday November 12 2015. I was at my own rock bottom. I was habitually visiting prostitutes. I was addicted to pornography. I couldn’t have sex very easily if at all with a human being, unless I took pills or got lucky.
I immediately threw myself into it and tried for a 90 day reset. I made it 46 days and then started having sex again. For the rest of the year I had sex periodically and also fapped a few times. I watched porn sometimes. In generally my “streaks” were about 8-12 days. To sum up my experience: it works. My pied went away, and despite what the zealots on here will tell you, once a week is much better than 3 hours a day. You do not have to be perfect to succeed, you just have to not give up. You have to let every failure re-inform you of how much you hate being a slave to pornography.
My mom will never lose weight because as soon as she breaks her diet she gives up (until she can muster the courage to start again), and al that happens is she gains back all the weight she lost; we don’t have to do that. One meal doesn’t make you fat, it doesn’t make bad food good for you; watching pornography once doesn’t instill these problems in us, it was over years or decades of habitual use. That doesn’t make occasional pornography use healthy for your mind, it is always unhealthy for your mind and body and soul. I am not religious. But in the Bible in the Old Testament god promises that you (Israelites really) will find him if you search with your whole heart and soul; but in the New Testament Jesus tells us that the pure in heart will see god. This is true. God has finally come to communicate with me.
I’ve been living in isolation for the last 5 months. It’s been a very difficult situation and time for me and it’s hard to describe. I experienced some amazing streaks and times of semen retention. It does make you go crazy, especially when you are isolated. But something happened recently. Some people were deposited in my space. First some guys showed up, then a couple of girls; one of the girls kept coming to my room in the middle of the night; I would wake up to her doing things to me and we would fool around and she would leave. I barely slept for days because I was sleeping in the ground and while she was there I was not even on my sleep pad, just the hard ground, while she snoozed on my small bed and then went back to hers and sept until noon…I had to get up at 7. So I sent her away. Then something else happened. Another woman came to me. She’s wonderful and we connected and I told her that I have been practicing this lifestyle for a year. She chose me out of all the men here. She stares at me and tells me she’s never met a man like me and when she’s not with me all she wants to do is be around me, and that she respects what I’m doing and doesn’t want to interfere with it. She tells me I make her feel alive in her womb and vagina and that she feels fire when she touches my chest. She pokes me and says she can’t believe I’m real. Therefore we are moving slow. I sept in her bed one night and we have kissed a little. My balls hurt and my stomach hurts, but my soul is on fire.
I have a lot of personal work to do. I have problems from my past. I still have anger toward women, not caused by pornography necessarily but surely enabled and deepened because of it. I have no home. I do not know how to receive love. This lifestyle is much easier to maintain and succeed in when you are with people, but it’s not impossible to do on your own. I spent my first (hell) week alone. I spent the last 5 months (up until about a month ago) totally alone (see one person once a week or so). Life just has so little context and purpose without others there to share it all with. But it is possible to succeed, because ultimately everything you do is alone, for you are a unique human being and nobody has the ability to see what’s within or to control what’s within you, only you have that power.
The night before my one year mark I was in the kitchen and I was tempted to watch pornography. I remembered that it was the year anniversary so I easily rejected that thought, this was important to me, plus I’m sleeping ten feet away from a girl I love. So I went into my room and played guitar, and she came and knocked on my door and came in and wanted to smoke with me,which we did and we talked and she touched me for the first time then. I can’t describe how good it felt to be touched by somebody. Besides these two recent women I’ve just described, I barely see another human, let alone interact and touch.
Thank you nofap community for saving my life. You did not provide me with a literal coming-to-Jesus moment but one of the figurative kind.
I want to be free from pornography. I don’t want my soul to be oppressed any more.
UPDATE – 2 month update
About me: I’m 29 (male) been PMOing on internet for at least 15 years. I found this 2 months ago and started right away.
I’ve masturbated twice, once to porn, once starting with porn and stopping. Both times were much less severe than where I was before (in terms of time spent, minimal edging, less extreme, etc.)
Habits I have been using:
- Meditation (not heavy, but 15-25 per session)
- Cold showers (in the gym, this isn’t all the time for me and I don’t think it helps me with urges)
- Working out period.
- Even more focus on diet
I’ve noticed many of the commonly cited benefits, including:
- Heightened mental clarity
- Better sleep (especially waking up is easier)
- More energy
- More confidence. Really, as many note, more motivation to talk to people, especially girls, but also there’s nothing else on your mind, and there is no shame in your eyes.
- Much better mood and more day to day happiness.
I have recently entered a SERIOUS flatline for the first time. Hookers offer me free sex and I’m not even interested. That’s good, but I do hope it comes back.
Girls are even more interested in me, whether they know I’ve been fasting from ejaculating or not. Texting goes from innocent to “I want you so bad you don’t even know” almost immediately, it’s actually funny. There are so many girls that wanna do me right now I’m glad I’m not particularly horny, because I’m enjoying this and would like to finish out at least 90 days with no (more) ejaculation.
Best improvements for me:
- I don’t have an urge to PMO anymore; the images have started to fade from my mind so that it’s not hard to keep them out any more.
- My SEXUAL TASTES have normalized greatly. I was really into shemale stuff before, but now get OMG feelings just from talking to hot girls.
- PIED: hard to say. I have kissed two girls, but I wasn’t particularly attracted to them. I was more or less hard from one but just from a make-out session and I wasn’t expecting sex.
- Morning wood strong. I have nocturnal emissions about once a week – on that topic, this most recent time I ejaculated to a dream about sex with a black chick….in the start it was dreams about watching tranny porn. That sucked.
Notes on diet:
- have started taking turmeric and fish oil daily for brain health (since I view this as healing from brain trauma). Also more nuts.
- I eat a lot of fruits and vegetables and greens and prepare almost all my own food.
- really cut back on drinking and smoking weed (because the only urge to relapse is when I’m drunk)
Changes I hope to see in the next 2 months:
- Further fading of PMO ideas/images/visions from my mind
- More normalization of my sexual tastes and function
Big thanks to all who have supported me. I’m fighting with you all.
First of all, I need to start by saying that I wasn’t perfect over the course of the last 95 days, which is my entire history on Nofap. I did hard mode perfectly for the first 45 days. Since then I have PMOd a couple of times and had sex a handful of times. Here are some highlights for me, including some more info on PIED:
1) PIED. After my first “relapse” after about 45 days I took about a week to get full on into nofap again, although in that week I was NOT watching porn all the time, when I did I actually was able (and wanted to) turn it off and have fantasies about girls I’m involved with. I experienced what many describe as a regression through the sexual stages of my past 15 years in that way – jacking off is no longer necessarily to extreme porn, but to a picture of my GF in a thong (I don’t have an exclusive GF). Over the course of the first two months I made out with a girl – mild wood but I didn’t like her, and that was still encouraging. About two months in I started hanging out with a cute girl and over the course of a few weeks I started to get more wood just kissing her and got head from her, not my best performance, but it was totally functional and I ejaculated pretty fast. Then shortly after that I got laid. I was drunk and stoned and still managed to have sex with a condom on and it lasted a long time. I even stopped, changed the condom, kept going at some point (not because of problems with erection, you can guess at why). Erection was solid and everything felt really good. Took some time to ejaculate since I was a little drunk, BUT…it still felt much better and sensitive, totally great. A week or two later I got laid again and was more messed up (I’m not happy about the drunken states, it just happened) and it was just as good if not better. Then 3 months in I spent a weekend with a girl and boned every day. It was pretty easy and everything worked great. I could have gone multiple times even. All these girls were having orgasms.
2) I stopped drinking and smoking weed for the most part because those are the things which lead me to any kind of relapse.
3) Experienced all the normal things – highly elevated mood in general, and all the rest of the ‘super powers’. I had girls just coming undone.
4) Things that helped me most: discipline discipline discipline. Construct a massive mental arsenal to combat the thoughts and mental tricks your mind plays. Start forcing your behavior to change even when you don’t want to. I read a lot. I played a lot of music. I worked out. I meditated a little bit.
5) I experienced the ‘chaser effect.’ I wanted to fap a lot after having sex.
6) Moving on. I plan to do another ‘long’ streak on hard mode after this recent sex weekend. Long for me is at least a month and a half. My real goal is to go the next 4 months on hard mode, but I know I will have sex if the right opportunity comes up.
The pain is worth it. Resisting the urge for the high is worth it. It fixes your dick, and that very fast. Also, I’m 29 and been fapping to porn almost since puberty, and they say that in cases like this it takes a really long time to ‘reset,’ so take heart everybody like me!
My story in short, I’m a 29 year old male who has been MOing since about 13 and PMOing since about 14 or 15. I really picked up my usage in my 20s when I had a computer and room to myself and binged and edged and escalated. Would say I’ve experienced PIED for all of my 20s but never realized what it was until recently because I was constantly drunk for the last decade, so I thought it was whisky dick (obviously I was having some successful sex in there or I would have known something was up long before). I escalated to the point of ordering viagra only to bang transgender prostitutes. That’s pretty fucked up. I’ve done that about 20 times.
I found NoFap in mid November at the moment I hit my own rock bottom. Somebody had mentioned nofap to me years ago and almost like magic it came to my mind that day, I got on and committed and made it 45 days on hard-mode. In the last 4 months as a whole I saw huge improvements and am a big believer in the general system. I experienced all the superpowers, my mood improved, my stress and anxiety diminished, the world grew brighter, and I fixed my PIED (I’ve still used some pills from time to time, but mainly when I’ve either been paying for it so I need to not waste time and money or when I’ve been meeting somebody I didn’t really want to have sex with in the first place….maybe didn’t need it but didn’t want to risk it).
Well I never had another 45 streak, but I have enjoyed being in much more control. Every few weeks it seems like I will watch porn and often not even finish to it (sometimes I don’t finish at all because my desire for semen retention is stronger than my desire to edge to porn), and this didn’t really bother me, I could still see improvement in the grand scheme of things and have pretty much been getting sex with real live humans regularly for the past few months.
Then last night I had a disturbing realization: when I was about 20 say I could close my eyes and fantasize about all my early sexual experiences, the spank bank, it was great…but now when I close my eyes and fantasize or think about sex or even just try to conjure up images of it, it’s of porn stars….the thing that disturbed me was not the thousands of images of girls and trannys, but the dozens of guys that I’d seen in the same pornos over and over and over and ejaculated to thousands and thousands of times (literally)….they were inside my brain, and dominating my sexual thoughts. I am not man inside my own brain any more, it was a horrible thought and realization. I realized how important it is to get it out of there, to reclaim my own domain and be the center of my own sexuality again.
WARNING to those who think this is just a morality game – it is not. Porn will fuck up your brain so bad if you continue to let it influence your mind. What do you think is going to happen when you ejaculate to some other guy having sex 9 times out of 10? I WAS A YOUNG CHRISTIAN, a devout 15 year old feeling guilty about watching porn and trying with all my might to stop and praying for help, and it happened to me because I was ignorant to the damaging power or porn. Don’t let it happen to you.