Back when I started this journey in December I had 90 days pinned as a magical golden trophy that would solve all my dreams. I’m pleased I’ve finally got there, and believe me, it’s worth fighting for, but along my way here I’ve realised this journey is so SO much bigger!!!
(that and I slipped looking at yoga and models a few times which now feels as dirty as porn so I don’t feel I’m clean slate)
Things that helped:
- Meditating nightly. If I don’t, I’m very likely to screw up.
- Keeping my phone away from my bed. Keeps tired porn browsing out of reach and the alarm on the other side of my room gets me up
- SLAA – This is the deal breaker. Fighting my own was making very VERY slow progress. These guys snapped me out of isolation and I wouldn’t have reached where I am if it wasn’t for them.
- Exercise, keeping busy, avoiding the flat on my own
- Using “Procon Latte Content Filter” to block Android Firefox. By no means fool proof but once your will power is strong enough, the passworded warnings have saved me more times than I can count.
- This subreddit for the first six months. Now it actually makes me think about porn too much. LOVE YOU GUYS.
- Fortify – This online program is BRILLIANT. Cheesy. But bril.
Things that have improved: disclaimer, along with therapy & SLAA fellowship
- Self esteem is creeping in. I see myself in the mirror and OK with it.
- Chatting to attractive women without TOTALLY freaking out (don’t get me wrong, I still do, but there are nuggets of improvement)
- Heaps of gratitude for increasingly more things around me
- Depression is almost dead. Only have the odd flat day that I totally own.
- I feel less anxiety around HAVING to meet and talk to people in public. I’m getting content in just quietly being me.
Anywho, I’m just procrastinating from work really so I wish everyone all the best with their recoveries. This horrible vile crap can be beaten. I never thought I’d see myself at 90 days but with perseverance it’s doable. Keep at it people!!!