Age 30 – My depression held me back for many years, but now I think it’s gone and replaced with energy and motivation

workout.guy_.jpg

Anyways the thing is that in these 3+ months I learned a lot of things and gained a lot of things. First of all I realised what I want to do with my life, which is to finish my degree at computer science and then invest more time in programming languages because I find them interesting. My depression held me back for many years but now I think it’s gone and was replaced with energy and motivation to try hard to become the best I can in many ways.

My current streak is 100+ days hardmode. I have not pmo’d for that time. At the start it was really hard cause of the uncertainty of the whole no fap thing and from my strong urges to look at porn – but it’s getting better in the long run. The struggle is real though like an everyday thing, but I cope with it.

I set a goal to workout, which I hadn’t done for many years, to read books to educate myself to become the best I can and that’s the most precious thing that I discovered so far from no fap. I now feel the need to do this and not just procrastinate all day, I’m trying to reduce meaningless distractions but I’m also do some stuff that I enjoy like playing the guitar videogames or TV shows in my spare time.

My posture indeed has improved without trying it, cause of the improved confidence that I got I guess. Morning woods have been teasing me for the last 45 days they are so strong that sometimes I wake up too early and I need to calm down myself. I had 2 “wet dreams” but it was kinda strange because I thought that I ejaculated and I woke up but there was not indeed ejaculation, I don’t know why.

I speak more; I’m braver than I used to be. I’m trying to face some of my fears that have to do with socialising.

I’m experiencing a really increased attention from females, though nothing has happened yet, cause I’m studying or attending classes most of the time, also my severe shyness is MUCH better I mean I’m speaking with strangers and women without over thinking about it like I used to do.

I’d like to add that my baths I’ve been taking were all cold. I think only 2-3 of them were with warm water and I mean like froze 0% warm. That helped me a lot in some days that were hard for me and needed a confidence boost and it really works, the energy it gives you is immense. The truth is that i was scared that because it was so cold maybe it was unhealthy but I still did it.

I’m now thinking about masturbating on schedule but I’m still not sure about it. I read some stuff about healthy masturbation without porn that can help you rewire your brain by touching yourself and discover what you like. I tried to do that yesterday and the sensation was amazing but I still didn’t commit to it fully, but I’m starting to believe that mo like once in a while without being addicted to it and without porn is healthy still not 100% there though.

I’m 30 years old and I was watching porn pmoing like almost everyday for the last 8-10 years, that caused me a depression. I only wish I found out this earlier so I can straighten my life :/ It actually took me a lot of years to discover that I was depressed.

That’s it from me guys I hope you all be well and be strong.

LINK – My 100+ days report!

by the_nameless_onewho


UPDATE

LINK – I think my social skills improved by like 1000%

I’m not exaggerating, i was as shy around women and I was starting to believe that was never gonna change. Today was the first time I go out at night after the no pmo project i started Im 100+ days right now i’m not counting exactly no reason to I guess. I was making ppl laugh with my jokes I was witty I was fluent in my talking, sure my nervousness is not completely gone thats not possible but I hold a conversation with an unknown female for about 40 minutes thats a first for me. A girl I barely know grabbed me by the hand and introduced me in
their group of friends ( 3 females), I had nerves at first but it was completely gone after like 1-2 minutes. That is a huge improvement for me, first of all that has NEVER happened before. I need to tell you that im 100% this is cause of no pmo. After I left the group of females, another really beautiful woman looked at me and smiled at me while I was passing through. Shit that gave me a lot of confidence today and now that I think about it I should have made a move at her cause she was HOT. Only the thought that I’m capable of it makes me stronger, next time I need to be ruthless. This works guys this is not a scam or idiocy you need to convince yourself and commit 100% so you can be stronger, happier, I have a long way to go but I’m slowly getting to who I want to be.