I’m 31 years, 5ft 10, well-built, and never had a girlfriend (and still don’t). My 20s were about focusing on my education and career and forgetting about girls who would reject me for the 6ft 2 blond haired blue eyed alpha male stud. I am now well off in my career and have my own place and an investment property. My struggles have given me lots of life experience and wisdom, which I guess a lot of women now find attractive, so I now have no issues getting girls.
Background to my virility woes:
I started masturbating vigorously (5-10 times a day of PMO) when I was 23. Eventually, I had to resort to the death grip (probably around age 24 years) in order to get an orgasm. I hardly had time to find girls, so this was my way of meeting my needs. I probably went on about 5-10 dates a year, of which about 5 would lead to the bedroom.
At age 25 years, reality hit – I consistently had erectile dysfunction. I saw a variety of doctors. I had a series of bloods done – my testosterone level was normal. My sperm count was a bit reduced. They all told me it was related to stress or performance anxiety. Then I started hitting the gym hard core, and relieving stress by practical way.
The next few encounters I had, I wasn’t stressed at all, nor did I have any performance anxiety. I was a failure in PIV till I was 31. I had to compensate by resorting to other sexual acts in bed – e.g. fingering, butt squeezing, nipple licking, kissing etc. My foreplay and tantric sex ability dramatically improved. I realised that women have a spontaneous inclination to go towards PIV once they get horny with the above foreplay. This is where I continuously failed.
Women used to take it extremely personally – “Am I not attractive enough for you?”. I used to just tell them that I’m tired.
When I was 30, I mustered the balls to tell the women that the reason I’m having ED is because I masturbate. A lot. That I’m out of juice. That I’m trying to fix this. They wouldn’t see me again sexually, because they probably think “what? you have very little sexual experience..you couldn’t satisfy me with PIV”.
At 31, I tried a new technique. I found that women are a lot more cooperative when you’re upfront from the start. Before I have sex, I have “the chat” – about when they were last tested for STDs etc. I build trust at this stage, and also tell them how great they are, and I’m telling something very personal, because I trust them. I tell them that I have ED and D.E, and that I’m working on it. I would usually go for 3-4 days of no PMO when I anticipate that a date will move to the bedroom. I realised I could get an erection, but it’s not sustained. I would explain again after the act that this is what I’m working on and be real thankful for their cooperation.
I found another chick who lives out of town and who is an absolute gem in that she continues to see me on a weekly basis – we have PIV every 6-7 days. This is PERFECT. For the first time, I have abstained from PMO completely, right after the first time we slept with each other. I told her this was my goal.
A week later – day 7 of no PMO – I noticed my erection remained a bit longer.
Day 14 of no PMO – Proper solid erections for the entire night. Lasting 1-2 hours at a time. Still no ejaculation.
Day 17 of no PMO – I ejaculated!!!! We had PIV sex 6 times. I came after 40min the first time. After 35min the second. Then after about 25min each time round. Success 3/6
Day 21 of no PMO – Multiple rock hard erections. PIV 7 times. Came 5 times. Soonest was 10min. I consider myself cured. After 8 years of death grip to PMO 5-10 times a day. I am cured. No medications or psychologists or toys.
Bottom line – Abstain from PMO, but it’s ok to have PIV on a weekly basis. Penis and mental sensitivities will return.