ME: 32 y/o, single. Here to post initial 30 success story since reading other people’s success stories has been/still is one of my biggest motivators. HERE B/C: a) wanking too much, sometimes to porn, which led to decreased sensitivity during sex resulting in not being able to orgasm during sex.
That is, unless I posted a girl up on the wall and was granted access to her shit-slinger, then MAYBE after a while I’d get a nut b) part of overall life overhaul, needed to change what had become my normal, awful lifestyle.
DETAILS: long story short I have been on a steady decline of sorts over the past few years. I have a good job, living situation, family, etc., however, I was not coming close to my fulfilling my potential in pretty much all aspects of life. Wasn’t an alcoholic but was drinking too much, smoking too much, living in a nice apartment that was always a mess, paying bills late for no reason, wasn’t working out a lot, etc. I was generally procrastinating on everything and felt pretty lousy all day every day. Got a date with a hot chick and fucked it up big time because I had somehow turned needy and put her on a pedestal. Was getting laid from time to time but with progressively uglier and drunker chicks, the sex was always bad. How the fuck did i get here, what a miserable existence I was living for no reason. I had to change and get back to my old self.
LOW POINT: got shithouse drunk & pulled a chick January 2nd and couldn’t orgasm during sex. Ended up jerking off in her bathroom after she fell asleep to get my release. Pretty awful stuff. Then went home and sat in my unkempt apartment all hungover, amongst dirty dishes, laundry, unmade bed, empty beer cans — to boot it is only a half furnished apartment even though i’ve been living there for 14 months, too lazy to finish furnishing/decorating. Very depressing.
NOFAP: stumbled across NOFAP that afternoon, decided to give it a whirl. Also decided to use it as a ‘jumping-off’ point for pulling the rest of my shit together. As it was the New Year too kind of made a resolution to change. My process: Took it slow, tried to do a couple things a day to improve life – Day 1: clean bedroom + WorkOut (WO) – Day 2: clean kitchen + WO – Day 3: clean bathroom +WO – Day 4: laundry; dry cleaning; organize closet/shoes/ties/belts + WO – Day 5: get organized w/ finances + WO – Day 6: finish ordering stuff for apartment + WO – Day 7: focus getting diet in order; grocery shop; go to bed early to get up early and start WO @ 6:00 AM.
I had real success just setting myself small, attainable daily goals, achieving them, and after one week I felt like my life was semi-back on track. At this point I had momentum. I felt ENERGIZED, MOTIVATED, CONFIDENT and couldn’t wait to keep IMPROVING more aspects of my life. As you could imagine, my WOs were dogshit the first week, but the important thing in my mind was to SHOW UP. “JUST GET TO THE GYM” I told myself. Now they are great.
30 DAYS IN: keeping up with improving one aspect of my life each day, I’m crushing shit. My apartment is spotless, finances organized, wardrobe organized and being updated, diet is on-point, crushing daily workouts, got a keyboard and teaching myself piano, got a library card, fridge is fool of food, etc.
WEEKDAY ROUTINE: – 6:00 AM: run 1.5 miles then lift – 7:00 AM: shit, James Bond Shower (yea motherfuckers!), shave, meditate (5 mins.), breakfast – 8:30 AM: work, eat healthy packed lunch & snacks – 5:30 PM: leave work hit grocery store & run errands (if necessary), get home, change, meditate (10 mins.), practice piano for 30 mins (started 10 days ago) – 7:00 PM: dinner – 7:30 PM: either head out to bar(s) to try to meet women / new people or go on a DATE or chill at home, watch tv, read, clean, organize, whatever. – 10:00 PM: wind down, organize, wash face, brush teeth, meditate (10 mins.), make lunch for next day, get to bed.
Now, I do not strictly credit NOFAP with this change of lifestyle, HOWEVER, I do believe it has played a major role. It gave me a platform on which I could build — and boy have I built.
CRUCIAL to MY SUCCESS:
a) COLD/JB SHOWERS: holy shit, the best thing ever. How come I never knew about this before? I take one after I WO in morning. I step in like Clark Kent and afterwards when I pull back that shower curtain and step out I feel like Superman exiting a phone booth! I do the ‘James Bond Shower’ = thoroughly wash myself under hot water, (I don’t feel right washing in cold water), then put that fucker on cold and sit there for five minutes. Get on it!
b) STARTING SMALL: I really wanted this to work so instead of trying to change everything in one day I just outlined small goals and made sure to achieve them. In the past, I’ve tried to change at times by doing everything in one day and ultimately I just burn out and I am back to zero within a couple days.
c) JUST DO IT! Let me elaborate: it is easy to say, “eh, I’ll just work out twice as hard tomorrow” or “meh, there are only two dishes in the sink — I’ll wait until there are six and work the economies of scale” or “fuck it, I’ll go to the grocery store when I have absolutely no food left”. F- that noise, just DO IT NOW. This is hard at the beginning as there is so much shit to take care of it can seem overwhelming. THIS is why baby-steps were SO CRUCIAL for me. I did not try to overload myself. But, it is AMAZING after a few days/weeks all of a sudden shit is just taken care of! – I’m looking for things to do!. i.e. My apartment was all clean last night already so I decided to clean the filter of my vacuum cleaner so it’d be ready for next weekend. Fuckin’ psycho right? I ran out of crushed pepper a few days ago, so instead saying to myself, ‘Oh, next time i’m at store I’ll get some crushed pepper’ I instead hopped in my car and went to grab some. Took 15 minutes, and my tacos weren’t bland.
d) KEEP BUSY: or even more important, keep your mind busy. “Idle hands are the Devil’s playground”. You get the point. If you are sitting around doing jack shit you know exactly where your mind is going to wander. Don’t let it. I realize I thrive on a disciplined schedule, and I’m pretty sure most people do or would. Make it a priority to have a plan always! Plan tomorrow, this week. e.g. set goals.
e) /r/nofap – reading the posts everyday really motivated me. Especially the success stories. It was hard at times, especially early in the first couple weeks when I wasn’t as busy and ended up with a wandering mind. As I got more busy taking care of everyday stuff and engaging myself in life more, I find myself thinking about PMO less and less.
f) /r/seduction – a new hobby of sorts. Helps with confidence, style, understanding people, hygiene, etc. Don’t be a prick like a lot of the douchebags over there and attempt to use it SOLELY to weasel your way into a girls panties. Rather, use it for yourself to build your confidence (which helps with women) and social skills. Utilize it to help mold yourself into the all-around awesome individual you can be. Then, go talk to women now that you are not a pussy anymore. /r/ seduction has led me to: – dress better, wash better, smell better, groom better, talk smoother, stand up straighter, understand the importance of EYE CONTACT, being in the moment, a dope haircut is clutch, fashion is easy and monumental, a whole bunch of little stuff that thus adds up and equals increased confidence and self-esteem. When you feel good and confident about yourself, have a clean place, look good = you (I) LOVE going up and talking to chicks, love when I get rejected b/c then I can reflect on what went wrong (or sometimes chicks just don’t dig your vibe, fuck it), love even more when I don’t get rejected and then make major moves with them. Fun stuff.
BENEFITS, SUPERPOWERS, whatever you want to call them and what everyone REALLY wants to hear about: – confidence, give me that eye contact yo! – much clearer skin – sex drive like whoah – dick sensitivity back: had sex with a girl Saturday night. Was awesome, really put on a show. UNBELIEVEABLE ORGASM!!! Nutted (w/ CONDOM in V), and holy moly, dude, when I disposed of it, it was filled up like a quarter of the way with jizz when I tossed it. Was awesome! Woke up, banged her again first thing in the morning, again with condom and orgasm in V. Boss. – organized, living well, living clean, living strong, loving life – combined with /r/seduction, attention from girls increased, approach anxiety gone, been going on dates last few weeks, and at the point where I got options. A month ago I had nothing, mostly because I was at home on the couch with a 6-pack or going out shitfaced and acting a fool trying to find tramp. – not drinking as much – when i go out to a bar, i’m not focused on drinking i’m focused on talking to girls or other people. I end up sipping on a drink while socializing as opposed to slamming a bunch of drinks to get some ‘liquid courage’ to go talk to that one girl I’ve been staring at for the last two hours. – sleeping better, no naps after work, not drowsy during day
IN CONCLUSION: I credit NOFAP with being a crucial part to my rebirth. I DO NOT think that NOFAP turned my life around on its own, however, it provided an outlet for me to utilize to gain momentum in pulling my life back together. I DO, however, believe that abstaining from PMOing does something to you biologically that gives you energy and some type of confidence and/or an edge that helps to improve other aspects of life. Sitting around and doing nothing other than just trying NOT to PMO is a start, but that alone will get you almost nowhere. But, when you take all the little things and work them together — when all those powers are combined, YOU ARE CAPTAIN PLANET! HOLY LORD, only 30 days too! I’ll be back to fuck with ya’ll at 60 hopefully and will give another update. GOOD LUCK!