Well, I’m only hours away from getting that first 90 day badge. I’m still amazed how I got this far given how bad this addiction had become. I was stuck for years keeping on relapsing but now things are finally looking up. I feel a lot stronger at dealing with the urges.
Sometimes I get a heavy feeling down there but it goes away usually within 5-10 minutes. Sometimes thoughts pop up in my mind but I’m better at snapping out of it and focusing my mind on other things.
Today was quite a boring day being a rest day from the gym and a Monday, just finished my weekend night shifts, it would have certainly been a relapse day in the past. This is my first 90 days in 10 years, I got to 50 days once last year and then got several streaks between 2-3 weeks, before that was mainly 3-7 day streaks.
If I can make 90 days, anyone can. It’s awesome to know that the last 40 days have been new longest badge days and everyday to come adds to that record. A relapse now or in the future would be a huge blow and I would have to start again and get to mid April just to get back to where I am now. My relapse ending my 50 day streak was such a bad mistake, it took me 75 days to get back on the horse and stay there and that seems quick. Feels great to finally get one over on this addiction. Stay Strong everyone!
I started fapping when I was 22, figured quickly that looking at porn sped up the orgasm. I became addicted to the dopamine rush, I am learning to live without that now and enjoy life more. After PMO or MO, I would just feel rubbish, low energy, just bad in general.
Take away the PMO, life is great. I am 32 years old, married and I have two sons.
It feels great to have finally reached this seemingly impossible goal. I would have laughed a year ago. Nothing was more frustrating than starting a new streak to end up losing it 2-3 weeks in.
The main benefit is no more depression or low energy after PMO. No more guilt, the addiction doesn’t get me when bored. Sometimes I think about porn for a second when bored but then snap out of it just as quickly. The truth is it doesn’t get easier, we just get a lot stronger and less likely to relapse so long as we remain strong.
I would say after 3 weeks things started to get easier. The urges before that were very strong and seemed to hit me in my brain. I would wake up in the night with thoughts of porn, then I’d be fighting the urge to get up and PMO.
Now, I’m having reverse wet dreams, where I stop myself in my sleep from anything happening. Feels great to have such control, I was very out of control with this addiction, like 3 days was a good streak a year ago. I was sick 3 times during this streak from colds/flu. The urge become very tough as boredom becomes a problem and cold showers are too unbearable when sick.
I am now working to tidying up my diet. Only eating during meal times and cutting out junk. Also exercising harder than before. Working on things in life rather than letting porn ruin whats left.
LINK – First 90 day report