First off, I want to thank everyone who has helped me along the journey to 90 days. Without the support and encouragement from you guys on this board I would not have hit the big 9-0. Furthermore, I want to emphasize that it took me over a year of streaks and relapse to reach this goal. So for those of you who are struggling, you must hang in there.
Every time you see someone hit 30, 60, 90…just keep in mind that may have taken a long time to hit. And, of course, it is worth it to keep trying.
I want to explain the title of this thread for clarity and to explain my interpretation of Super Powers. Yes, they exist. But they are subject to your own interpretation of what that means to you and what you want from NoFap. More confidence? More muscle? Better looking? Getting more girls? Great. But maybe it’s something deeper – something inside you, a feeling of self-worth and confidence PMO has suffocated for most of your adult life.
Sex – The first goal of NoFap, for me, was to get laid. Oh, it would cure PIED and make women swoon? Sign me up! This went on for many months, in and out of streaks, but I never got “more sex.” I had about the typical amount of sex I would have had during this time period with or without NoFap. Ok, whatever, no big deal. Then something dramatic happened as I hit about 50-60 days…
Love – After a good run with NoFap, it became clear that I what I want in my life right now at age 32 is love. Not sex. Not fucking. Not chasing the wrong women for a quick lay. I want love. I want to find someone I really connect with to have a life together. Around mid-way of my current streak, once the brainwashing of porn began to fade, it became clear that I am not a “player,” not someone out of a porn movie and not in need of constant sex. In short, I am not who porn tells me I should be as a man. I am me, not what the media says I should be. This was a profound and empowering epiphany.
I got very close to meeting the “woman of my dreams,” for whatever that is worth, toward day 60. I felt I had a major breakthrough with NoFap, and I did. This girl was amazing but it didn’t work out. But during the time we were together, I took it slow, got to know her, and really felt like I cared for her and respected her as a person before we had sex. I was not my normal self – I was interested in discovering her, not fucking her. It was the first time I had sex with someone and didn’t need Viagra for the first time in years (except for girls I was in a relationship with). Now, it didn’t work out because I set some personal boundaries and walked away from her, even though I really liked her, when she wasn’t respecting me (the entire post about this girl is here, but not necessary to read – http://bit.ly/1QgAFZD). This was hard to do and I would not have been able to walk away from her without the confidence, self-respect, and self-esteem gained from NoFap. As I went through a brief but deep period of sadness over her, another major shift occured…
Self-Love – After it fell apart with this girl, I decided that it was time for an even more profound stage of No-Fap: learning to love myself for who I am and to not rely on others (especially women) for validation and happiness. Since this moment earlier this year, I have been 100% focused on me – working out more, doing yoga, trying new things like spin class and mediation, inviting friends out more, seeing more live music – doing the shit I used to love before NoFap turned my brain into a dull loaf. I also made a promise to myself to quit online dating entirely for at least one year (to me, online dating was a gateway to soft porn and also was an addiction for me). Since then, the pressure to “get laid” or get a girlfriend is completely gone. I am going to learn to love myself for who I am all the time no matter how long it takes and I already feel much more at ease with my current situation. Is everything perfect? No. Do I have bad days? Of course – I am human. But during this streak I have had a fundamental shift in my attitude and approach toward life.
So, gentleman, I want you all to hang in there and continue on this journey. The thoughts and stories I am sharing here would never come from my mind were it not for NoFap. You too can evolve and begin to experience new, profound emotions and peeks in consciousness as your brain heals. But please – think long and hard about what you want from NoFap and what are the inner Super Powers you wish to unveil to the world. My evolution from wanting to get laid to wanting to find love to finally deciding what I really need right now is self-love is the best Super Power I could ask for. Identify your Super Powers and give yourself those gifts. You deserve it. We all do. Stay strong, my brothers.