So there’s a girl that I’ve had feelings for, for a few years now really. Very beautiful and sweet and thoughtful type of girl. She seemed to show interest a few years ago whenever we’d see each other in passing and even though I thought she was great, I was new to Nofap and trying to work on some serious issues with myself before getting involved with anyone else.
Well about a year and half ago we hung out and she asked for my number and since I had come a LONG way with Nofap and in life I felt better about getting closer to her… Well I could tell as she got to know me im sure she saw a LOT of immaturity and probably lost interest.. ( also I didn’t do a good job of making my intentions clear with her, but I wanted to know her as a friend for awhile before going further) I texted her a few times after that and she never ignored me but I could take a hint this girl just wasn’t interested in me. It hurt. Real bad.
But I showed all the negative qualities of a typical nice guy. Not making intentions clear, putting her on a pedestal in my mind , not being “authentic” …also at the same time I herniated discs in my back , so I was in extreme physical and emotional pain. But I used that to better myself over the last year.
Nofap of course is the #1 catalyst but I fixed my credit, got a new car , planned a trip to China and Japan (going in September) and just overall have tried to think more unselfishly about others (I don’t mean in typical “nice guy” fashion) but genuinely feeling more empathy towards ppl who can’t necessarily benefit me in any way. All the while I’d talk to other women , but it was always in my mind that I did miss this other girl, but I’ve become a person who won’t chase anyone (chase a check never chase a bih…:)
But yeah so this girl I was interested in a year ago texted me yesterday and after little while she was like we need to plan something , go to the movies or something on the weekend… Of course I’m happy, but I’m trying to very carefully watch my thinking. I don’t want to have any expectations right now… Honestly I love the struggle of doing Nofap, being single , I embrace pain more so than I ever have so I really have no need for a romantic relationship.
I’ve had women that I’m very sexually attracted to but I couldn’t persue it because I don’t want meaningless sex or a relationship where im not in love with who this person is through and through.
Her? She’s really and awesome person who I can easily have feelings for I just have to watch myself and keep killing those “nice guy ” habits Nofap has everything to do with this because I’m from year to year not even the same person I was a year ago. I was so weak and put every attractive woman on a pedestal when I started in 2013..
I wanted to die back then and saw no hope. Now I embrace pain and respect men and women who are ppl of character, while still appreciating beauty I don’t need it. Sorry about the wall of text I know it’s an eyesore, it’s hard typing this out on the phone. TLDR- Women are awesome, but destroy the pedestal.
I’m 36 years old, more on the older side but between a messed up early life and dealing with alot of issues it took me longer than most ppl to get going in many ways…. My back made vast improvements over the last year so that’s been great….
The symptoms [I tried NoFap to try to heal]? I would say depression, not able to look ppl in their eyes when speaking, weak ppl we’re able to push me around,not physically because I’m a bigger guy but my only defense before Nofap was to lose my temper and scare ppl otherwise ppl took advantage of me..
Absolutely no confidence when speaking to women, knees began to bother me when I play sports body felt weak, no energy or much muscle mass,
Nofap is a true life changer if you were badly addicted like I was… I’m not where I want to be but I’ve come so far.