I tried on day 50 and was still unable to maintain an erection or orgasm. This was followed by 10 days of making out, touching and cuddling (while she was on her period). On day 60, we had another go of it before bed with similar results. In the morning however when erections come easiest,
it took little effort to get it up for penetration, and I stayed fully erect for a few minutes of sex. I was focused on staying relaxed (no involuntary kegels) and the physical sensations, rather than on staying hard and cumming. But cum I did, and even stayed fully erect for a second release a minute later. And damn was there a lot of it!
Nothing but good feelings afterwards, and a day later there’s still no urge to PMO or desperation for more sex. Hopefully my libido goes back up to normal levels as I continue reinforcing the partner-sex-orgasm reward pathways, and I gain more sexual confidence to initiate it more often.
I’m 36 and was on high-speed porn in my teens before even kissing a girl.
The biggest change I noticed was in being able to meet a girl without having sex as the goal. Knowing I have control over my lust and really can go without orgasms makes for more natural and less anxious interactions with women. I’m definitely less sex-focused now that I’m not watching porn daily.
I’ve got about 17 years behind me of not trusting my ability to perform, so I’m still very much in recovery mode. I think it helped talking to my girl about nofap and that she should expect a period of low libido/weak erections/inability to finish, and getting her to stop asking me to cum while we’re going at it.
Technically this was the 3rd or 4th time we had sex, but I’m not at the point where intentionally not reaching O would be helpful. Later on, maybe just a few O per week if I still have a steady partner.
I wasn’t really planning on meeting anyone, and worried I’d hit 90+ days still alone and eventually relapse. The first meeting was super casual and I was really just looking to socialize with a girl, since I do so little of that, and she was just looking for someone to get her baked lol. Meeting girls with the intent of getting to know them and maybe making friends feels like a much healthier and effective approach than seeking potential mates. And it doesn’t have to become romantic or sexual until/unless you want it to.
~24 years of PMO addiction, death-grip masturbation due to being circumcised, and performance anxiety from years of the ED that resulted from it all.
I definitely wouldn’t force something you don’t feel ready for. Self-awareness is a big part of being able to self-heal.
I was finally starting to crave female company after basically no desires during the flatline, while previous to nofap it’s been mostly cravings for female sexuality. I guess my approach is to go along with desires I consider healthy, while not giving in to unhealthy ones.
LINK – Successful sex on day 60
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