Age 42 – Gut wrenching news (and its dopamine highs and lows) flattened my libido…after I had healed PIED

UPDATE Age 42, July.2020

42 y/o just wanted to share some success I’ve had recently which I thought might help people….

First discovered YBOP about 8 years ago and it was a revelation. I cut out porn immediately and after a few months started to see the benefits. I was single at the time and it really helped with my confidence, not to mention ED issues I’d had practically all my adult life. I’d come out of a LTR and it helped me start dating and having sex again and get a new GF.

Fast forward to now and I’ve been single for about 4 years. In all that time I’ve had little to no interest in sex, dating or relationships. After some bad experiences with women (not PIED related) I figured I just needed a break. I work from home a lot and thought maybe it was due to not getting out much, or maybe because I was getting older. I’d started using porn again occasionally during that time, but the weird thing is I just wasn’t that interested in it any more, or M. When I did M I’d have to use really intense extreme fantasy to get off, but it was rare i’d even do that. I thought maybe i was depressed, but also sort of wasn’t bothered about it either way. It was like a 4 year long flatline with no obvious cause.

I started to get so frustrated with not feeling any kind of libido whatsoever, I decided to do something about it. Since porn wasn’t even holding much interest I started looking for other reasons. I’d even been seriously considering TRT injections. Then for some reason I decided to read YBOP again…

I’d realised that during this last 4 years I’d got seriously into politics, particularly watching Youtube, going on twitter and properly binging on it. I’d become addicted to the emotional roller coaster of it, the shock value, the outrage, the polarization, the fear. I would spend days on end watching videos, refreshing twitter feeds because i’d convinced myself I had nothing better to do. It was like porn on steroids. Even on porn I’d watch for an hour or 2 at most, but this was on another level. I had no clue that the emotional content of this had managed to even blow porn out of the water.

Reading YBOP again i substituted the word “porn” for “social media” and it suddenly made sense. If libido is controlled largely by dopamine, does it matter what is depleting that dopamine and desensitizing receptors? If porn could do that, clearly so could other content.

So I ditched it all this time. Porn, youtube, social media, news websites, TV, video games, Tinder the lot. I rooted my phone and blocked practically everything that wasn’t email. Anything that was causing me to feel compelled to use it when i was bored, even innocuous things like IMDB, I cut it out.

The first week was tough, I felt really depressed, spent practically all weekend in bed. I kept wanting to get on twitter read the news headlines, see what was happening in the world. I mean its just the news right, surely a quick look is fine? Or just watch a couple of YT videos to pass the time. But I stuck with it. Week 2 got better, and I started to to experience some of same things as when I did NoFap/NoPorn years ago. My anxiety was down, life just seemed brighter, conversations were easier.

Week 3 I decided to try M again. I still didn’t feel like I had a libido but thought I’d give it a go anyway. Wow, what a difference. I had this smooth buildup of sexual energy, like I hadn’t felt for years. I really didn’t have to make much effort, everything just came to life naturally. And the weird thing – I no longer had to use extreme fantasy, and more than that I didn’t even want to, it felt ridiculous somehow. All I wanted to think about was vanilla sex, just really basic stuff, and yet it felt 10x more intense. By week 4 I felt like girls noticing me more (or maybe I was noticing them?) – i think that’s also a quote from the book but its so true.

And that’s as far as I’ve got. I still don’t feel “normal”, but my sex drive is way up on what its been for years. I occasionally M and the experience is night and day from how its been for years. My erections are a 9/10 rather than about a 2/10. I also just feel so much better in myself, more confident, less anxiety, more interest in life, even considering dating again.

So I guess the takeaway, and perhaps what I wanted to share this for, is for anybody who is struggling with recovery and flatline, consider cutting out everything that targets dopamine, not just porn. I think its so tempting for people to give up porn, but then fill the void with some other dopamine addiction – video games, TV, youtube, internet, and that then stunts their recovery, or even makes it impossible to recover.

LINK – Youtube vs Porn

Original post – Age 37 – ED all of my adult life: I am cured and sex is amazing. (2015)

I’m 37 y/o and had ED *all* of my adult life. I wanted to share this story in the hope that it will help others and so people can see that this stuff really does work.

I met my first GF when I was 18 and we weren’t able to have intercourse for 3 – yes 3 – years. It’s amazing things lasted, but they did. I just couldn’t get it up to have sex with her. I was in love with her and really attracted to her but it wasn’t enough. Eventually we managed to get things working, but it was never that successful, so for the rest of the relationship we just hardly ever had sex. Unbelievable when I think back.

In the end we broke up and ever since then I’ve taken more Viagra and Cialis that I can remember – through being single and several relationships, always in secret. I hated taking it every single time. Even though it worked about 80% of the time, I could hardly feel anything through my dick, but it was my only option. I can probably count the number of times I’d had sex without medical assistance on one hand during that time. My libido was also destroyed.

Evenutally I discovered nofap and YBOP and suddenly realised what had happened to me. I was 34 at that point and couldn’t believe what I was reading. Porn and masturbation seemed so normal to me that I just didn’t realise it would have caused these problems. I’d been bashing it out to hardcore porn all my life, since about 13 years old, escalating more and more over the years.

I hit nofap hard for 90 days, and whilst I did see some improvement, it didn’t really fix my problems. A few relationships later I was back on porn – I had managed to “forget” about nofap – amazing how your brain can convince you of these things! I was also back on the blue and yellow pills and depressed about what was happening.

Now fast-forward to 3 months ago. For some reason I can’t remember, I suddenly started thinking about nofap and ybop again. I got all the old material out and watched the videos again. I couldn’t believe how stupid I’d been to let myself slip again. I decided to experiement again.

I stopped all PMO, I started going to the gym x3 per week doing heavy lifting. I started running, and improved my diet. But most importantly I started doing Kegels. 3x per day, 10x20s reps, some long, some short, but I did them as powerfully as I could. I was dating a girl at the time and made my excuses to avoid sex. After about 3 weeks we tried again. My erection wasn’t amazing, but it was a massive improvement and the sensation was incredible, and most importantly I didn’t need medication.

I kept at it, and now 3 months on I would say that for the first time in my life I am completely cured. The sex we’ve been having has been incredible. My erections are stronger than I’ve ever had in my life. The sensation is amazing, the level of control I have is amazing. Even when my mind hits me with doubts and anxiety about not getting hard (which would normally just kill my libido), my dick still just gets rock hard. I seriously can’t believe how good it is. I feel horny all the time.

So my prescription: nofap + kegels = no more ED, rockstar erections, and great libido. I’ve realisd I can edge a bit (without porn) but generally I avoid it because it makes the sensations during sex less intense. I’m sticking with the kegels – I think these have been so important, and I also like the fact that doing them makes me feel like I’m taking my dick to the gym

Things are good, really good, and I just hope others can share these rewards like I have.

LINK – 37 y/o – ED all my life, finally cured!

by jonnywishbone