I’ve been watching porn for most of my life. My previous biggest nofap streak was about 30 days. I wasn’t as diligent that time, and I did some edging. At the time, I wanted to prove to myself that I could still get it up if necessary. Then it became “masturbating once a week is fine,” and then I fell back into porn use.
I keep asking myself when I’m going to get rid of porn. I know it’s not good for my brain. Somehow, things really clicked for me this time. I got that porn probably contributes to a low-level depression, and contributes to anxiety (I’ve struggled with anxiety my whole life, from mild to major panic attacks).
Over the past few years, I’ve been concerned that my testosterone has been low. I got it tested, and it was on the lower end of the spectrum for men my age. I haven’t been waking up with erections. My genitalia has often had a cold feeling. I research T replacement therapy, but I don’t want to accelerate hair-loss, which is a common side effect.
I haven’t kept track of the days since I looked at porn or touched myself, but it must be about day 26 or so.
- There was a period of flat-lining where I wasn’t that interested in sex. It didn’t last as long as it did in the past though.
- I started to get big erections in the morning. This was a huge relief – it’s been a while since I had this.
- I don’t have that cold feeling in my genitalia anymore
- I notice the connection between stress and wanting to touch myself. I can pinpoint the moment. For example, maybe I have to decide whether I want to set a date with someone I’m talking to on Tinder, and I have a sudden urge. It feels good to decline that urge.
- In the morning, I would get a very full sensation in my testicals that is a bit uncomfortable. However, it goes away if I just get out of bed and start my day.
While starting nofap, I dislike hearing about anyone who isn’t doing hard mode, because it made me feel a bit envious, or I felt like, “sure, anybody can do that.” But since I started, I reconnected with an ex and we’ve had sex probably three times so far.
I’m sensitive and I’ve always had an issue with premuature ejaculation. The first time having sex after being on Nofap for 20 days or so was intense, but I’m comfortable enough with my partner to let her know that I haven’t been jerking it. Without getting into details, it didn’t make THAT much of a different the first time, though I was very sensitive. The subsequent times, I’ve had more control, but I’m still quite sensitive.
- I’m more disciplined in working out and other pursuits
- I’ve been getting up too early, perhaps becasue of a new environment that I’m sleeping in. Despite getting max 6 hours sleep, I’ve got plenty of energy.
- Not feeling as neurotic and anxious at work, but still have some anxiety
- Feeling more attractive
- I have zero concern about not having a strong enough erection during sex, which is something that had plagued me in the past
- MUCH more willingness to meet new people on OKCupid or Tinder (before Nofap, the desire just wasn’t there)
- Girls are more responsive online. I haven’t changed pics. Though this could be due to the approach (and now arrival) of Valentines day 🙂
I feel good. I feel happy, and that I have a lot of energy. I feel less neurotic and more attractive. Part of the attractiveness thing could be the placebo effect, since it’s something I was anticipating.
My body fat has declined without much effort (I’m 5’11” and 163 lbs or so, 32-in waist), and though I’m working on building more muscle, I feel that I’m close to the best shape of my life (there were times in the past where I had more muscle – I couldn’t work out for a while due to injury, so I’m just getting back into it).
Anyway, that’s all for now. I don’t want to see myself fall back into watching porn. I feel really good now. It’s also gratifying for my ego to know that I’m in a small percentage of single men with internet access who refuse to watch porn. I intend to stay off porn. I haven’t committed to 90 days without masturbation – I’m just taking it day by day.