Age 38 – I thought I was losing my sex drive and had low testosterone. Now I realize how much PMO was causing my problems


38 year old male here. I enjoy reading updates, so I’ll try to contribute my own. I’ve known about Nofap for a while, but didn’t get a respectable streak until Jan of this year, where I went about 85 days.

I did some relapsing and one session of binging since that time. I also engaged in some other unproductive behavior, such as looking for hookups online, and even a visit to a massage parlor hoping for release (release didn’t happen though).

But I have definitely masturbated less this year than any other year in my life. I’ve learned not to reach for my dick so much anymore. I notice my triggers are often stress-related, or perhaps due to feeling frustrated (as others have related, if I’m playing a video game and losing, I get the impulse).

Currently I’m on day 14 of a streak. I had a couple recent streaks and got right back on the wagon, so even though this streak isn’t that long, it feels longer. The other day I almost planned to relapse because of the pressure in my nuts. But I held off and I’m glad I did.

The challenges have mostly been sleep-related. Many here experience insomnia, and the common tips (exercise, meditation, etc.,) don’t seem to help. It’s almost like the body just has too much sexual energy. I believe this problem is FINALLY going away, but insomnia led me to relapse on a couple of occasions.

I often get a big erection at night. If I sleep on my stomach, I find it too stimulating. Lately, I’ve been putting a pillow between my legs to keep my dick from getting stimulating. At night time, lately my thoughts will drift towards cuddling and kissing this girl I’m seeing (we haven’t had sex and I’m in no rush), and I will get an erection just from that.


  • My penis is bigger much of the time, instead of being a shriveled little thing when I’m PMO-ing
  • Erections are very easily obtained–almost too easy–even from a brief hug
  • Prior to starting Nofap, my penis felt cold and limp and, though I could still get it up, I wasn’t getting morning wood or spontaneous erections. That was a while ago, so I’ve almost forgotten about that. There was a time when I seriously looked into supplemental testosterone because I thought I was losing my sex drive and had low T. Now I realize how much PMO was causing my problems
  • I have some hair thinning, and I feel like it’s been much better under NoFap
  • NoFap has caused me to look into other ways to get my brain under control, such as practicing the No Arousal Method mentioned below
  • More at ease chatting with people
  • Even with less sleep I seem to have ample energy


  • In the past, when I had the opportunity to have sex on Nofap, I was extremely sensitive. I already can struggle with premature ejaculation, and Nofap makes it worse. I believe that if I have regular sex, I can work on this with my partner, but I’ve not had an extended period of regular sex with nofap
  • Insomnia
  • There were times where horniness got the best of me and i looked for unhealthy outlets to try to get my rocks off without doing it myself
  • Lower standards in women (not sure if this is a real problem…)

Someone in /r/Nofap mentioned the No Arousal Method, which is illustrated in a long thread on YBOP (Google “No Arousal Method YBOP”), and I’m attempting that. It is VERY difficult. I am very accustomed to getting a little dopamine kick when I’m walking down the street and a cute Asian woman walks by (I prefer Asian women, which is another story in itself). Now I don’t look (which is what the method is all about). If I have no intention of talking to her, it’s none of my business what she looks like, what she’s wearing, what she’s doing, who she’s with, etc. I don’t let myself look back. I don’t let myself stare at her face or look at her body.

Not being allowed to look at an attractive woman on the street is a particular type of pain for men. Many of us have experienced this if we’re on a date or with a girlfriend and you really want to look at some other woman but don’t out of respect. I live in one of the largest cities in the US and there are so many attractive women. You might think it’s going overboard to deny myself this simple pleasure, but practicing this discipline feels right at the moment. I would love to hear your thoughts though.

You might say, “Fuck that. Keep a look out for pretty girls and approach them!” I’m just not in a place where that feels natural to me. Maybe if there’s a fortuitous situation. But I’m not about to approach girls while on my way to work in the morning (which is when i see a lot of beauties). I’ve never been into cold approaching – perhaps I just need to have my eyes opened and someone can show me how stopping women on the street is perfectly natural.

I’ve gone on a couple dates recently. I’ve definitely felt more confident, or at least less anxious. I also feel more at ease at work. Recently, I met a girl online. We had a very casual first date (it was hardly a date – just a pleasant walk). I physically escalated on our second date even though she didn’t give me huge signals (I usually need her to be practically begging me to touch her before I’ll do so). And I kissed her on the third date. I had some nerves and I wasn’t Dr. Smooth, but I definitely think my Nofap powers were helping me pretty big.

I’ve definitely been much more at ease around my family. I still have some shame. Last year was particularly stressful for me, and I engaged in some sexual behavior of which I’m not proud; namely, paying for sex. This contributed to pre-existing issues of shame.

Anyway, that’s all for now. Feel free to ask questions.

LINK – NoFap success over 4 months. Currently on a 14 day streak. This is my report (it’s long). Also, discussion of the No Arousal Method.

by kinairo