I’m 40 years old, married, addicted to PMO since I was in my teens. My addiction had progressed to such insane levels that I was spending an inordinate amount of brain power in concealing it from family and friends. I did a 30 day report here and wanted to add a few things as I finished 60 days yesterday.
This post is not about super powers, it doesn’t have much advice on how to stay away from PMO, I wanted to write something on the big picture of my life after 60 days of NoFap. I wanted to focus on just one question – How did my life change after NoFap?
First of all, NoFap is just a tool. But it is the most important tool in addiction recovery. It gets you out of the negative feedback loop of PMO leading to stress, leading to more PMO and in general having a miserable life. If you want to know why PMO leads to stress, ask me and I will respond in detail. NoFap got me out of this cycle. That is the biggest change in my life. Let me explain how.
As Woody Allen said, Showing up is 80% of life. This is so true and powerful. In life, you have to show up. You have to show up to solve a problem, you have to show up even though you want to run away and hide, you have to show up to claim what’s yours even though your fear tells you otherwise, you have to show up to spend time with family and friends even though you have nothing to show for yourself, you have to show up even though you are afraid that you are unprepared, you have to show up even though you are worried what others might think of you, you have to show up with all your imperfections while working on getting better. Being on NoFap means that I show up more often, I conquer my fears just enough to show up. As I show up more, life gives me back more. All I have to do is show up with good intentions and try my best. God or the universe or the positive force meets you halfway. Probably meets you sooner than halfway. There will be failures and things that are outside of your control but you will start to see them as setbacks and opportunities to change the course of life, rather than devastating failures.
After 60 days of NoFap, I can say I have a new life. It is a life where my mind is without constant fear. However, I also know that it is a life which is separated by a thin wall from my other life, my past life, which was full of fear, regrets, and unfulfilled potential. This thin wall is my practice of NoFap and every day on NoFap and meditation strengthens the wall. It will never be impenetrable – but it will keep getting stronger every day.
If you have started NoFap, then keep going. If you are young and wondering if you need NoFap, the answer is yes. Do it now or do it in a thousand incarnations – the choice is yours.
LINK – 60 day report
UPDATE – 120 Days Completed
Can’t believe it’s been 4 months. I have been trying to give back to the community to the best of my ability in answering questions but really, the best encouragement I can give you is to ask you to go back and look at all my submissions and you will see the pain, pleasure, and growth that I have experienced.
I have nothing major to add except that I finally feel like I’m truly living life and it’s not bad at all, when you don’t have a constant need to escape.
My life has changed a lot. The last 4 months have brought many life events that I handled way better than before. The changes here can only be noticed by absence. Absence of major screw-ups by being in a brain fog, absence of fear, absence of freaking out and yelling at family members because of stress. I can only imagine that living a fully present life can keep adding to the quality of my life over the long term.
If you have any questions, please do not hesitate to ask. And Yes, it does get easier as weeks pass by. Trust me. Stay Strong!
UPDATE – 5 month benefits
It’s been awesome. Urges are few and rare but always have to watch out for possible stress and celebratory moments which are most likely to trigger an urge. I read a lot of posts here, so trust me, my first few weeks were no different from some of the challenges other people mention on here. It does get easier as weeks go by.
Here are some of my life changes I wanted to capture for motivational purposes:
- Renovated my house and sold it
- Renegotiated my salary with my employer
- Bought a house and managed to take possession amidst significant legal challenges
- Moved with family to a new city
All of the above happened in the last 4 months. Couldn’t have done it if I was not on NoFap. Why? Because to do the above, I had to be always present and not ‘check-out’ for a single day. I couldn’t afford brain fog nor could I afford to be a downer to my family. I had to bring my A game every single day and NoFap was absolutely essential for that.
The biggest benefit of all — I don’t give a f*&^ as much anymore. I care about the important things but the caring doesn’t ‘paralyze’ me like before.
If you have any questions, feel free to ask. You can also look at my earlier submissions. My sincere thanks to this sub.