I work for myself. I’ve been doing it a long time. My father worked for himself, too. (He was also a masturbation addict, btw. Don’t ask me how I know, and I won’t squick you all out.)
Anyway, although I’ve worked for myself basically my whole life, starting in my early teens, I’ve always thought I didn’t have what it took to be in business. I never had the cut-throat attitude. I never had a thick skin. I had anxiety problems. I worried about money, and yet I could never step up and promise value and demand payment. That’s kind of what business is all about.
Anyway, now I’m over 60 days and things just keep getting better. My focus is un-fucking-real. I don’t worry about stupid shit. I don’t worry about getting everything ‘perfect’. I just think about the best way to serve my client and how I can really knock their shit out of the park.
I’ve never, NEVER been this successful, and it’s just looking up. I’ve got opportunities coming up everywhere, and I don’t get scared by the big ones. 5 figure project? No problem. Here’s the invoice for deposit. Give me the money and I’ll get started. Or don’t. I’ve got other work to do.
I used to never say no. Anything that came my way, no matter how tiny and peripherally related to what I do, I’d say yes to it. And it was an absolute waste of my time. I’ve started saying no to work that’s not a good fit for me.
There’s tons of time, too. I keep thinking it’s Wednesday when it’s Tuesday. I get to the end of my to-do list and think I’ve forgotten something, but I haven’t. I’ve got actual free time. And I don’t worry about it when I have something to do and I know I’ll have time to do it tomorrow. I don’t wake up thinking about it.
And I’m taking risks and solving problems with my work in ways I never have before.
It helped with procrastination, too. I would procrastinate because everything was so damned scary all the time. And it just isn’t anymore. Wrapping up all the details is easier, for me too. I actually follow through. Invoicing is easier. I don’t procrastinate on that.
Even a year ago, I’d do this stupid thing where I’d wonder what I was going to do when I grew up. I’m in my 4th decade, so… when was that going to happen exactly?
All I had to do was stop whacking it, and I could have grown up, anytime. I could cry my fucking eyes out about that, or I could be grateful that I didn’t find this out when I’m 70. I’m gonna do that.
Onward and upward, yo!