As the title states, I, as a 42 year old man, have accomplished a full 90 days of abstaining from pornography and masturbation. I have been married for 20 years, so my lovely wife and I have continued with normal sexual relations approximately 2-3 times per week.
This was my first official go-round with NoFap, but I have wanted to and tried to stop this behavior since I became a Christian in 1993. For those struggling to get through the first month, week, or even the first day of their reboot, please know that I am writing this entry with you in mind.
I will not give you my entire story, as some of that can be found in my journal and my introductory thread. But I wanted to tell you a few things (in list form) that I would tell myself if I could go back to age 19 when I first tried to stop PMO.
You might find them helpful.
1. Stop making excuses.
2. Stop wanting it to be easy.
3. Start having a brutally honest conversation with God, and that includes listening.
4. Stop blaming others for your behavior.
5. Start doing whatever is necessary to rid yourself of all triggers.
6. Stop with the self-loathing, you know you’re only making your problem worse.
7. Start looking for an accountability partner.
8. Stop thinking that NoFap will resolve every problem in your life.
9. Stop giving up. Pick yourself back up and try again.
1. I’m a lot less angry. (My wife told me this)
2. I’m more patient. (She also told me this)
3. I’m no longer motivated by fear and depression.
4. Although I feel tempted at times, it’s a lot easier to immediately get my mind on something healthy.
5. I’m not a sex god in bed, but my wife and I agree that this is the closest and most intimate we’ve felt towards one another ever. In short, sex is better. But not because I’m trying to measure up to someone on an LCD screen, or trying to last some exorbitant amount of time, but because my wife feels loved and connected with me, and not just when we’re making love.
6. My wife trusts me. (Once again, from her mouth to my ears)
7. My children (17, 15, 12, 10, and 6 months) have noticed a positive difference. 8. My relationship with God is better than it’s ever been. Without all the guilt and shame fogging up my spiritual lens, I feel free to pray and believe boldly.
With that said, I want to first and foremost thank my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ, who has given me the grace to overcome. And I want to thank all of you great people on NoFap who have encouraged me and given me advice over the past few months. I appreciate you more than you know. Never give up!