My success story is rather quick . I’m 43, and I was totally addicted to PMO for about 27 years. The addiction has taken a lot of my lifetime from me. In January 2014, I became top-serious to get out. I said to me “either get out or die”.
I did a “cold turkey”: 30 days full hard mode. I became mad, I went through hell but also though heaven and paradise the same time.
To cut it short: During the next 18 months, I went through several phases – ups and downs. But I was able to do streaks of hard mode again and again.
I also understood that going out of PMO means to change your attittude. Not just “stop PMO”, but “incorporate a new attitude”. Connect to people, focus on positives, focus on goals — really pursuit your goals, have the guts to do the things you want. Don’t doubt in yourself, don’t hesitate. And have a positive attitude. Whatever happens: You can always see it in a positive light.
Also, I learned new social behaviours. I had a helpers’s syndrome, and I overcame it. I learned not to help all the time, it even is BETTER no NOT help sometimes, and I learned to “take” and know my value, instead of “giving for free” all the time.
Finally, about 16 months later, something noticeably began to change in me. I felt that I had become used to the hard mode, and I enjoyed it. And then I felt that my urges to PMO became more silent.
Today, I feel that I have really made progress. The urges now come very seldom, and they always come in low voice, and I’m always able to let them go by and move on. It is like an old pattern which is there but becomes more and more silent.
My best comparison for that feeling: It is like moving to a foreign country and learning a new language and living in a totally other culture. In the beginning it is hard, but after 1-2 years, you begin to assimilate the new culture in yourself. This is where I feel to be today.
And after more years, you begin to think in the new language and finally, you even begin to “forget” your mother tongue.
So: Although you can never fully delete your memories, you can overwrite them with new behaviour and new patterns. And that’s what it is all about.
So finally: A new life is possible. You just need to begin somewhere.
My advice: Begin today with the first step.