Age 43 – Never lost my virginity, always was a bumbling idiot when it came to women & battled social anxiety


As I write this, it’s Day 42 of a 130 day hardmode (with the intention of never Ming again) and I wanted to share my success story (so far) with others to show that if I, a chronic masturbator for over 30 years can do it, SO CAN YOU. A little bit about myself: I’m 43, never lost my virginity, always was a bumbling idiot when it came to women, battled social anxiety and feelings of intense inferiority.

Always working to improve my self-esteem. You can read my journal here.

I was never into porn but I did visualize a lot. Which is something I hadn’t realized was a problem until I started hardmode.

After almost a year of nofap relapses with my longest record being 41 days (but full of edging, and mini-relapses) this time around, I am much more successful. I am amazed that I’ve actually erased all my fapping habits that I’ve tried to get rid of for 30 years. It was so difficult, seems absolutely impossible, but here I am today able to brush off temptation like it’s nothing. It took a lot of hard work and it was worth it. Really, you can be absolutely successful, too!

Here’s what worked for me:

  1. I really wanted to get rid of my M habit. Being determined kept me fighting when temptation got challenging or when I relapsed (I got right back up and soldiered on).
  2. I changed my mindset from “I can’t live without O!”, “This will be impossible!” to “I don’t need to M”, “I don’t need to visualize sex scenes”.
  3. Whenever I relapsed, I felt really bad. Like a loser. A weakling. It sucked to feel this way so I chose to assess what caused me to relapse and started again much stronger with the knowledge gained. I felt like Superman. Like a man of his word. A man who accepts failure, defeat, responsibility. A man who is strong yet humble. My record before was 41 days but it was full of edging and mini-relapses with no O or ejaculation. My old habits being eliminated 1 by 1.
  4. I took it one temptation at a time instead of thinking how many days left to Day 130.
  5. I kept up with my religion and feel so much more confident, calm.
  6. I learned that M was suppressing my dopamine levels. Dopamine is the hormone that motivates us into action. Chronic M depleted my dopamine. Thus, part of what kept me fighting was the fact that I was determined not to deplete this important hormone. Bringing your dopamine levels back to normal is what all the “superpowers” that everyone here talks about. The superpowers I now have are:
  • Women look so, so, so much more alluring. God bless them!
  • My penis became really, really sensitive around Day 20. It was a fantastic feeling because I now feel like a whole man. A healed man. A pure man. M made me feel the opposite. A loser and someone who self-stimulates and fantasizes about being great in bed instead of working to find woman to make love to.
  • My penis is thicker, harder even when flaccid.
  • Erections/morning/night wood are much stronger, a lot harder, and feel really good.
  • My libido skyrocketed around Day 25. Some days I was incredibly horny — for hours. It was great. I felt manly.
  • I feel so much more confident. I feel my mojo coming back full force.
  • I’ve always been concerned about performance anxiety and being a virgin I have the extra anxiety of epically messing up my first time. Now I feel confident that I’ll be awesome no matter how much I may mess up. It’s just not a concern. Though with a super sensitive penis, I’d better take things real slow
  • It’s really easy now for me to resist any level of temptation to M or visualize sex scenes now. This really blows my mind.
  • Nofap helped me learn how to live in the present. As a life-long worrier always worrying about the future, this is really big.

I’ve also been working out and find that it’s helping me feel manlier along with the fact that I am strong on the inside (resisting temptation, not abusing my body) and outside.

I’ve also been working on naturally increasing my testosterone levels so this may have played some role in my superpowers listed above.

I’m not completely sure but it seems nofap and increasing my Testosterone is making me build and keep muscle better. Or it may be simply mindset or muscle memory (I’ve been lifting weights since high school).

Nofap is one of the best things I have ever done. Thank you to the founders and this community!

LINK – My road to 130 days hardmode so far

by chastedude