I made it! Today is my 1 year NoFap anniversary… A good time to finally talk and share my ‘ordeal’ ; ) I am originally from the Netherlands; an open society, especially when it comes to sexuality. Everything is discussed, normal, accepted, which is reflected on TV, adverts, reality shows, internet etc. Saying no to masturbating would really oppose this, and would probably be labeled as an outdated or repressed way of saying selfsex is bad.
I myself have been a regular and happy user of porn, especially during the 8 years before NoFap (when I started working from home…). I never thought much of it and I never considered stopping.
I am 44 yrs now and in May 2015 the nofap ‘movement’ caught my attention. Just out of curiosity (as I was amazed by the positive effects it seems to have). I figured it would be an interesting selftest so I gave it a go… although I was and I am still skeptic.
So I stopped my daily porn viewing & frequent masturbation, and amazingly held on to it…
When I started out it felt almost unreal. No porn and no M… You are so used to it that you feel liberated when shifting from ‘just doing it’ to saying NO to something so obvious and available.
Let me first give a short outline my ‘NoFap conditions’ : )
I don’t watch porn (avoiding nude pics most of the time…) and of course no masturbation. I have intercourse @ lets say a weekly average and have streaks of 4 to sometimes 14 days without ejaculation / porn / sex (something that would have seemed impossible before). Here’s a few observations about how it went.
Some obvious benefits:
Not wasting time browsing for P and jerking off… It definitely resulted in being more effective. Shorter workdays, more time to work out, more time for kids, etc etc. Just a sidenote though… Focus seemed to slip away after 7 months as I started peeking at sex related forums, sex toy sites and occasional sex stories and pics (no clips)
It all seemed innocent and ok to me, however the problem with allowing myself to look at nudity and read erotic stories was ending up searching for more and more. And because there is no release or satisfaction it’s difficult to stop… At a point I was wasting more time than I used to.
So I recently decided not to go back to online nudity at all. I stopped watching anything erotic or sexual / from a screen that is ; ) And so far I am quite happy. Hope I can continue.
Second benefit; it feels good to be in control. It gives me a better self image (not saying masturbating is bad, but honestly I would rather not want people to know I just masturbated on dodgy porn clips).
The main thing I noticed, and what surprised me most was my change of voice. I didn’t notice at first and had a bit of a sore throat. The feeling simmered on and off over time. My voice had become slightly deeper and louder at times (could clearly hear it myself). The soreness felt like having talked loud for some time (like during a concert). The feeling faded roughly after the 7th day of not-climaxing (which would actually correspond with the 7 day testosterone cycle).
The change of voice started around the time you’d expect the weekly testosterone increase and came back each ‘no-climax cycle’, up to the 3rd month. At that point the effect wasn’t noticeable anymore.
This was quite a surprising physical effect to me and it definitely made me think there was probably more to NoFap than people are aware of. There must be other physical or mental effects of NoFap / probably more subtle / probably negative & positive ones. I am convinced the voice change is a direct effect of not masturbating and testosterone increase (apparently transgenders going through hormone treatments to acquire more male features experience sore throat and change of voice as well).
As said, after 3 months the effect disappeared. Not sure why but perhaps your body is so much used to excess masturbation, that when you start NoFap your body still builds up pressure in a short time as if you still frequently ejaculate. So I guess after a while your body notices a reduced frequency of ejaculations and slowly starts adapting, however for the mean time you still prepare for quick and frequent releases. This means when the quick release is not there and days pass by your hormone production starts peaking at the usual 7 day interval (BTW this is my own interpretation!).
In my view it would therefore make interesting testosterone research to compare frequent masturbators and NoFap males. Just to see if the testosterone peak follows the same curve. I would assume the peak may appear a bit further down the line or less intense in case of NoFap males…
Other things I noticed:
My erections are much stronger (as expected). A 3 day break from ejaculation already does wonders (especially in the beginning). And having sex after ’round 1′ seems doable now (I’m 40+ so that’s good news).
The first few streaks of not masturbating / not climaxing were painful (you get triggered and aroused easily / even without porn). After a few days you start blueballing and have uncomfortable abdominal feelings (even jogging gave me blue balls). It’s much better now as I have less random arousal. I guess my body (and mind) have adapted to not masturbating and less frequent ejaculations.
I could see a change in the size of my penis and scrotum; definitely more density. However if there is no arousal for some time it seems to shrink back. But never to the same XXS size as during periods of frequent masturbation. I guess blood flowing to your genitals tends to stay there easier when not masturbating.
I seem to be a bit more calm. Less nervous, less random irritation and less tiredness. Note! This was my thought after the first few months / not so sure now / perhaps it has become the new normal, or perhaps I have just been reading too much into it (probably triggered by reading many experiences claiming these effects).
Definitely a downside: An oversensitive penis. I really have to take it extremely easy when having sex in order not to come in a minute. Although it seems to have slightly improved now. But I still can’t last as long or go as hard as I used to. It becomes worse after 1,5 week of abstinence.
A condom is a major improvement nowadays (never liked them much but they make intercourse last much longer).
Interesting sidenote: I noticed that allowing myself to look at nudity (pics) during a ‘no climax period’ and getting aroused more often, made me less sensitive when having sex (was able to last a bit longer…). I was actually expecting the opposite and it would have made a good excuse to go back to online porn & nudity : ) But don’t want to go there again!
Other changes that occurred roughly at the same time as NoFap (but NOT SURE if related): I intensified my workout routine and started doing almost daily fitness and bodyweight excercises plus an almost daily 5 mile run. Secondly I quit my somewhat heavy drinking habit after many years, and am now back to moderate drinking @ 1 drink a day.
To me these are 2 major achievements!
An unexpected change was the worsening relationship with my wife / we slept in separate beds for some time (the kids were in our bed all the time / so the excuse was ‘no space for me’). I definitely feel lack of arousal with my wife (have felt like this for longer and wish it was not so…). Not sure if there is any relationship to NoFap, but watching porn used to get me juiced up for sex easier. I actually went back to an old girlfriend in the past year and later on started visiting a prostitute regularly (still do)… I am not blaming NoFap for this (just me going the wrong way), but other factors may have influenced me.
Looking back at the past year, I notice that I started out being very aware of not masturbating and not watching porn. I was reading a lot of info & experiences online. I was tempted to prolong my intervals of NoFap (and I did) just to see what effect it would have.
Later on things just moved on and NoFap turned to a more normal state. There was no sexual frustration. I actually had less sexual thoughts (without losing attention for the other sex).
My temptation to watch porn is not gone though. But now that the will is there and the habit is out of the way, it’s easy to control. I still see masturbation as a natural habit. It’s just that it seems to have propelled to a more overwhelming level. The fact that porn is incredibly tempting, easily available and -moreover- FREE, seems to have something to do with it : )
I actually think a person is just not ‘designed’ to deal with frequent artificial arousal. It can’t be a natural thing (I mean looking at other people having real life sex, whilst you are behind a screen wishing it was you, pleasuring yourself). Realizing this now makes me feel so relieved that I managed to stop.
I wouldn’t be surprised if people become more aware of this and will start making more conscious decisions about porn viewing & (not) masturbating / instead of just consuming. NoFap / no-porn could very well turn into a bigger trend… It definitely made me feel much better about myself. Moreover, actual real life sex feels so much better / stronger & lustful now! If only I would last a bit longer…