I can’t believe I’ve been on the plan over 7 months now. To clarify right off the bat: that doesn’t mean I haven’t fapped in 220 days.
I didn’t fap at all for the first couple of months, but I have some mild chronic prostatitis and what I discovered is that if I don’t ejaculate for 3-4 weeks then when I finally do I will get this pulsing prostate pain that radiates to the whole general region. So when I’m in a long sexual dry spell I might have to release now and then. But never to porn. And it’s OK.
I haven’t posted in a long time because NoFap became a habit for me and in time something I didn’t feel I should actively think about every day. At this point the gains are so clear that I need to encourage everyone who started at a low point like I did to power through.
Progress on my main issues of PIED and lack of libido: much improvement. I had an early, very frightening flatline that lasted three days. Then my libido slowly got up off the mat. I keep a journal and rate my sex drive at the end of every day when I take my meds, and last month I had a period of 8 days straight where I rated it “GREAT”. That hadn’t happened in years. Most weeks are some high and some low, but the trend is unmistakably positive.
A side effect I hadn’t planned on is that my skin is way better. I was really skeptical of everyone who said this would happen, but I just completely stopped having facial acne and the faint dark rings under my eyes have almost completely disappeared.
As for the “super powers”… I have become way more alpha and way more confident and it actually works. Latest example (I guess I should trigger this whole thing):
About 2 weeks ago I was across the table in a business meeting with a blond MILF. She caught me looking at her cleavage and quickly covered it with a scarf. After the meeting I pulled her aside and charmingly sort-of apologized with “they’re beautiful, but it was impolite of me to stare at them and I hope you’ll forgive me.” A couple of days later we exchanged emails. Then I got her cell #. … This morning she asked when she could see me again.
TL;DR: NoFap works. It takes a long time. It is clearly curing me of the things that upset me most in my life. It’s not an all-or-nothing proposition but the better you can adhere to it the greater the rewards. And there will be benefits you didn’t expect.
EDIT: /u/hasknicks pointed out that some context would help. I’m in my mid-40s, and looked at a lot of porn in my life but three things brought me to the point of trying NoFap: I started losing interest in sex, I began having trouble getting and staying hard with women, and I realized that I was going to sexual stimulation constantly as my primary diversion whenever I was bored — like I’d pull up porn sites a couple of times an hour during the day plus every morning and every night. That was my starting point.
I should also add that while all of the general wisdom in NoFap is at least not harmful and most of it is hugely helpful, I think the cold showers are a red herring. I tried them for a while, then I stopped, and they seemed to make no difference either way.
INITIAL POST – One week report: eventful and not what I expected.
After months of periodic PIED, low libido, and a penis that increasingly seemed small and cold and adversarial, my first week without fapping or porn in probably 10 years. Amazing. I experienced some pretty remarkable changes in that time.
- Day 1: I’d had hit rock bottom the day before, leaving my girlfriend lying on the couch because I’d had no interest in sex. So I was still pretty depressed but I had a slight glimmer of hope that this was going to work for me.
- Day 2: No real change yet, but c’mon, it’s day 2. Got ready for work faster since I wasn’t having a morning fap before showering.
- Day 3: Flatline. No porn in the morning = utterly flaccid. Scary. Depressing. /r/NoFap bros talk me off the ledge.
- Day 4: Flatline continues, no libido… yet, late in the day, I seem to have a little more energy than usual. I exercise and don’t get as tired doing so.
- Day 5: Wake up with good morning wood for the first time in a long time. Good energy. Libido starts to get up off the mat. I’m focusing a little better at work. Normally I don’t like driving to visit clients but today I shrug and just do it without getting upset about it.
- Day 6: Good morning wood again! This is nice. Kinda gives a guy some confidence. And I slept well. Late in the day, when thinking about something I like to do with my girlfriend, for a brief moment something ignites and I feel a sort of lust and desire that I haven’t felt in forever. It’s hard to explain, and it only flickers for a few seconds, but I remember what it’s like to really WANT. Another good exercise session in the evening.
- Day 7: Very hard morning wood. And for the first time in forever, great spontaneous erections repeatedly during the day. Overall outlook improved. Upcoming work-related tasks that I would have dreaded in the past now don’t seem to really bother me. Worries that I might not perform sexually are far from my mind.
I’m starting to see how not fapping is going to become a real challenge now that I’m hard more often. But after such a long time without, man am I ever ready to face that challenge instead of the alternative.
I guess I was expecting a week of improvement, then a long flatline, then slow improvement again — not an early crash and a relatively quick recovery. I guess I can expect more flatlines to come (surely it can’t be over yet) but knowing that I came out of the last one better than I went in will make the next far less frightening.
That’s my takeaway at this point on NoFap in general: It will have highs and lows, but you come out of it better than you went in. We all want to be better. We all will be better.